Walking A Thin Line
by Alcestis
Summary: The sequel to THIS TIME AROUND. Reincarnation works in strange ways...Why does Nakago remember, but not Tamahome? And how are Miaka and Taka going to fall in love when Keisuke and Nakago are in the background providing running commentary?
1. The Stage Is Set

**Walking A Thin Line**

Disclaimer: The story is mine, the characters are not. I am just borrowing them for a while and will return them as soon as the story ends or until they rebel against me…whichever comes first.

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Stage Is Set**

Miaka burst in through the front door of the Yuuki residence, startling everyone with her sudden entrance. Her cheeks were flushed pink, and her hazel eyes were alight with a sort of joy which she had not displayed since she had last returned from inside the Book of the Four Gods.

"Where have you been? Yui-chan said you weren't in school! She was so worried that she came over looking for you!" Keisuke was relieved that nothing had happened to his little sister. One could never be too sure when it came to Miaka…disaster had a way of following her around like an over-enthusiastic puppy. He wondered what could have possibly happened to make her so happy. _Well, she's going to be thrilled once she sees the surprise we've got for her!_

Yui glared at her with mock annoyance, "You stood me up for lunch! I thought the world was going to end!" she pouted, masking her worry. Miaka loved eating too much, and nothing short of a force ten gale could prevent her from keeping an appointment with food…

Her best friend beamed happily at her, "Sorry, Yui-chan! You'll never guess who I met—" her voice caught in her throat, abruptly trailing off as a young man with dark, tousled hair and soft violet eyes stepped out from behind Keisuke. In her excitement, she had failed to notice the extra person in the room. 

"—today…" she finished weakly. Miaka stared at the person before her, not sure if he was an illusion conjured up by her mind as a cruel joke. "Tama…Tamahome?" she whispered uncertainly, tears beginning to fill her eyes. She lifted a trembling hand to her lips, and the light glinted off the silver of her wedding ring.

"Miaka, I'd like you to meet Taka," Keisuke grinned widely, "He's a freshman at the university. He just came in this semester!"

Taka Sukunami took a step towards the girl whose image had haunted his dreams for as long as he could remember. His eyes met hers, searching for the answers he had been looking for all his life. _Yes, it really is her! _He could hardly believe that she was real. Slowly raising his hand, he showed her the ring which matched hers perfectly.

"Finally…I've finally found you." 

* * *

"Now, isn't this an amazing coincidence,"� a deep voice commented, causing everyone to jump. All eyes turned towards the source, like compass needles swinging to magnetic north. It belonged to a tall, blonde man who was leaning against the door frame with his arms folded across his chest. His arrival and subsequent presence had gone unnoticed in the midst of the poignant romantic drama which had been unfolding. 

The visitor looked up, as though surprised at the sudden attention he was receiving, a corner of his mouth quirking briefly in a lopsided smirk, "Don't mind me." His clear blue eyes moved to rest on Miaka's best friend, "Hello…Yui."

Keisuke was at a loss for words. It took him a few seconds to realise that his jaw was hanging open and he closed it with an almost audible snap. _No…it couldn't be! That's…that's…_

"Na—Nakago?" Yui stammered, her customary poise having deserted her. She had gone as white as a sheet. Intellectually, she knew that he had changed considerably since her last encounter with him. He was no longer the same person who had manipulated her into becoming the Seiryuu no Miko and turned her against her friend. So many things had happened since then, and he had done so much to help Miaka, but…

Reading about both him and Miaka in the Book of the Four Gods was one thing; meeting him as a person in this world was quite another. She never thought she would have to face him again…a spectre from a time she was trying so hard to forget.

Outwardly, he looked almost the same, except in place of the armour she recalled, he now wore modern clothes. While Yui had trouble reconciling her memories of him with the present, he seemed perfectly at home in a pair of black jeans and a slate-grey long sleeved shirt, which had been left unbuttoned at the throat.

He approached her, moving with the same fluid masculine grace she remembered him as always possessing, "Actually, it's Nicholas now," he said, a faint smile ghosting over his handsome features. Inclining his head slightly towards Miaka, he continued, "but she seems to prefer calling me Nakago." 

"Nicholas," she tested the unfamiliar English name on her tongue, "I…I'd prefer calling you that…if you don't mind," she whispered tentatively, while still studiously avoiding direct eye contact. _How ironic…there was a time when I thought I could tell him anything and everything…now I can't even look him in the eye._

"As you wish," Nicholas shrugged easily. He understood why she chose not to address him by his seishi name…after all he had done to her when he had been Nakago, he could hardly blame her. They had not parted under the best of circumstances, and it had certainly not been the finest of moments…for either of them. He could see how tense she was; her hand was clenched so tightly around the glass she was holding that her knuckles had turned white. He wondered how much additional pressure the glass could take before it shattered in her hand. _She probably isn't very happy to see the ghost of Christmas past, _his mental voice remarked helpfully.

Yui stood in awkward silence for a moment, looking down at her feet, "I…I have to go see how Miaka is doing, meeting one of HER seishi again…she might not be taking it as well as I am." She forced a smile at her weak attempt at humour and turned, about to beat a hasty retreat.

She flinched violently when a hand closed gently around her wrist, preventing her escape. Looking up at him in startled surprise, she found herself staring into his penetrating blue gaze. 

As though sensing her fear, he swiftly withdrew his hand. "Yui-sama…I'm sorry…for everything," he said quietly.

The look in his sky blue eyes was sombre, testifying to the sincerity of the apology. The way he had addressed her; the honorific he had affixed to her name…It truly was Nakago who was speaking, not a stranger who now called himself Nicholas.

"I know…so am I." Yui allowed herself a brief, sad smile, "I guess…we both have a lot of things to be sorry about."

She knew that he would understand. There was nothing else left for her to say. She turned away, and this time, he did not stop her.

* * *

_I can hardly believe…I can finally be with Tamahome…_After what seemed like an eternity, Miaka shook off the stunned disbelief which had paralysed her and flung herself at the dark-haired man who looked almost exactly like her first and only love. 

Taka barely had time to catch Miaka before she nearly bowled him over. He looked down at her, only to find her holding on to him as if she would never let go. Cautiously, he put his arms around her shoulders. _So familiar…yet— _

"Wonderful. It's your turn to keep her out of trouble now. Do try not to die again…I already have a full time job," the tone of voice was faintly mocking. 

Miaka released her death grip on Taka and twisted around to direct a venomous glare at the speaker. However, as fierce as it looked,� it was obvious to everyone that there was no real heat behind it.� 

Taka stared at the recipient of the glare in confusion. Easily the tallest person in the room, the blonde man had an air of calm arrogance about him, and something else, which Taka could not quite identify. It was this mysterious quality, which Taka found strangely unsettling. 

A thick silence followed, as everyone in the room waited for him to reply. Taka blinked, "Do I know you?" he asked innocently.

* * *

"You…You don't remember?" A deep frown had appeared between Miaka's brows. 

Taka shook his head, "Keisuke told me that I used to be someone called Tamahome. The name is…familiar." Closing his eyes, he sighed. "All I remember is that I promised someone that I would protect her forever…" his voice became softer as he struggled to put his thoughts into words. "All my life, I have been getting fleeting glimpses of a girl…you, Miaka…in my dreams." 

"What I don't get is why HE has all his memories, but not Taka," Tetsuya spoke up, giving voice to what everyone was thinking. He looked over at Nicholas warily. Seeing someone who was the reincarnation of Nakago had rattled his nerves more than he would have liked to admit. _I still can't believe that Miaka is friendswith the guy…I know he's done a lot for her, but his arrogance could drive a saint to drink! _

Nicholas raised an eyebrow at Tetsuya's slightly accusatory tone, but had no answers for any of them. In truth, he was as puzzled as the next person…he was just better at hiding his confusion. 

Keisuke cleared his throat, "So, Nak—…er…Nicholas, what exactly do you do for a living?" he asked curiously. 

"Strategic business consultant," Nicholas' blue eyes flicked to the Suzaku no Miko's older brother. "I devise strategies for large corporations when they're planning a hostile takeover," he elaborated calmly, noticing the blank look on Keisuke's face. 

"Figures," he heard someone mutter, "You must love your job."

Allowing the corners of his mouth to lift in one of Nakago's characteristic smirks, Nicholas glanced at Tetsuya, "Of course."

Meanwhile, Taka was becoming more and more frustrated with his inability to remember anything. Everyone seemed to know more about him than he did. They claimed that he was this "Tamahome" person, and that he had been one of the seven star warriors sworn to protect a girl called the Suzaku no Miko. He finally had a name to go with the face in his dreams. _Miaka._ She was the one he had sworn to protect, he was quite certain of that now, but beyond that…

_Maybe this Nicholas guy can tell me something. He seems to have known me as Tamahome…_He turned to the blonde-haired man, "I sorry…I know I'm supposed to remember you, but I don't," he said slowly, looking apologetic. He paused, "Were we friends?" he asked, wanting to find out as much as he could about his past life. 

"No," Nicholas regarded the former Suzaku seishi with an intense, unblinking blue stare which made the other man exceedingly uncomfortable. "I'm the person who tried to kill you, several times in fact," he deadpanned with a perfectly straight face..

Shocked silence greeted the statement. Taka's violet eyes widened and he turned several shades paler; but to his credit, he managed to force out a weak laugh which sounded almost convincing, "You're kidding…right?"

"No."

"Oh…" came the strained response.

Nicholas watched with suppressed amusement as Taka nervously took a step further away from him.

"Nakago!" Miaka glared reproachfully at him, seeing the telltale gleam in his eyes and somehow knowing that he was laughing inwardly at Taka's discomfort, "You didn't have to tell him that!"

He shrugged casually, looking decidedly unrepentant, "Oops." 

All of a sudden, his entire demeanour seemed to undergo a complete change. His eyes narrowed, and he turned sharply. Something had tickled his senses, not physically, but in a way that he could not quite put a finger on. Nakago would have been able to pin down whatever it was which had tripped his mental alarm instantly…unfortunately, as Nicholas, he was woefully out of practice.

Miaka stared at him in concern, wondering what had caused his reaction. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted reluctantly, "Something's happening." His eyes were scanning the room, and he did not look at her as he spoke. 

Then, he saw it. A red glow emanating from under the door of a room down the hallway. He heard a gasp from Miaka's brother, "The study! The Shijintenchisho is in there!" 

* * *

The Book was glowing. It was also floating. The most eerie thing about it was how the pages turned on their own accord as words appeared on them. Gingerly, Keisuke approached it. Without actually touching the book, he read the words out loud.

"Eight years have passed, and the East and the South have been peaceful…but not all grievances from the war eight years prior have been forgotten…or forgiven, and old hatreds are slowly resurfacing. Now, a veiled enemy threatens the Empress-Regent and Crown Prince Boushin, the heir to Konan's throne…"

"Oh no…" Miaka whispered fearfully. _Hotohori's son, Boushin…and Houki! What will happen to them if there is another war between Konan and Kutou? _Her hands reflexively clenched into fists. She had to do something to help Hotohori's wife and son. She owed it to him, as a friend and as a Miko.

Even before the thought had fully formed in her mind, a brilliant red glow surrounded her and flared outwards like a sun going nova… 

When the light dimmed a split-second later, she was gone…and so was everyone else.

Yui and Tetsuya stood frozen in the hallway, too stunned to do or say anything. They had been the only two people who had not been inside the study because there had not been enough space in the small room. 

The Book of the Four Gods lay open on the table, as if waiting for someone to read it.

"Kuso…" Tetsuya managed to mutter, letting himself sag bonelessly against the wall behind him. "Not again."

* * *

Notes:

1)This story picks up where "This Time Around" left off. Nicholas is the reincarnation of Nakago. They are essentially the same person, except that Nicholas is slightly more open with his emotions. He's also slightly nicer now, but only to Miaka, because they are friends. However, his dry, caustic sense of humour is completely intact, and he still enjoys tormenting Tamahome/Taka!

2)Miaka calls him "Nakago" because she does not make a distinction between Nicholas and his past self. 


	2. Be Careful What You Wish For

**Chapter 2: Be Careful What You Wish For…**

"Itai!" Miaka picked herself off the ground. "I really need to work on my landings…" Looking around, she realised that she had been absorbed back into the Universe of the four gods. _How did this happen? Oh right…I wanted to help Houki-san and Boushin…  
_  
An exaggerated pained moan sounded close by and her eyes widened when she saw that her brother had been transported into the book along with her. Beside Keisuke, Taka was already on his feet, taking in his surroundings in astonishment. For a moment, she wondered at the reason for his confusion, before she remembered that he had no recollection of his past life as Tamahome.

"Is the ride on Suzaku Airways always this rough?" a deep voice inquired wryly from directly behind her.

She spun around and was confronted with the sight of a blonde man dusting grass off his shirt, looking less than pleased. "Nakago! You're here too?" She was surprised, yet strangely glad that he was with them.

"No, that bump on your head is causing you to hallucinate. You're actually talking to empty air," he told her. His voice was impassive, but it was hard to miss the sarcasm in his words.

_Bump?_ Miaka lifted a hand to gingerly probe the quickly swelling lump on her forehead. She had not realised that she had knocked her head until he had pointed it out. Now that she was aware of it, however, it had started to hurt in earnest.

Before she could say anything more, a hand caught hers, gently forcing it away from the bruise on her head. Turning in surprise, she saw that Taka had made his way to stand beside her…and it was he who held her hand.

"You shouldn't touch that…it'll make it worse," he said softly, his soulful violet eyes staring into her hazel ones for a long moment.

Suddenly, as though realising that he was still holding her hand, Taka blushed lightly and let go, clearing his throat in embarrassment. Miaka felt the frustration welling up along with the tears. For a moment, she had been so sure that it was Tamahome who had been holding  
her hand…that it had been Tamahome who was speaking and gazing into her eyes. It made it all the more difficult to accept that he did not remember her and the love that they had shared. _Why? Tamahome…why don't you remember?  
_  
She took a deep breath, blinking back the tears. _Don't be such a baby, Miaka! I won't cry over this! I would love Tamahome even if he never recovers his memories!_ she told herself firmly.

"Miaka, are you all right?" Keisuke peered at her worriedly, concern written across his face. He thought his sister's eyes looked suspiciously shiny, as if she was about to cry.

"Hai, it doesn't hurt anymore!" Miaka forced a bright smile, deliberately misinterpreting the query; hoping to fool her brother and prevent him from questioning her any further. Behind her, she heard Nakago give a very soft, but unmistakably derisive snort. Belatedly, she realised that he had caught her in the midst of her little white lie.

Apparently, he had not lost his ability to read her like an open book.

Thankfully, no one else seemed to have noticed.

Miaka turned her head slightly and gave him the evil eye, only to be rewarded with the sight of him wearing a carefully neutral expression of feigned innocence, as if he had not almost given her away. _Of all people, it just had to be him…_ It was uncanny, the way he seemed to know her better than anyone else. _Jerk! I can't believe that I actually missed him!_ she thought irritably. He certainly had not wasted any� time in getting down to annoying her…

_Just like old times_, his vaguely mocking expression seemed to indicate. _Ne, Suzaku no Miko?_

* * *

It was decided that the most logical thing to do was to find out more about what was going on, and Konan Palace seemed like a good place to start. It was fortunate that they had been deposited near the capital. As they walked through the busy streets, Miaka was glad to see  
that there was no trace of the last war. The people seemed happy; content to put the past behind them. Children played in the streets, shouting…laughing; unmindful of the group of oddly dressed strangers who passed them.

She almost laughed at the awe-struck expressions on her brother's and Taka's faces. They still could not believe that they were inside the Shijintenchisho. Miaka remembered how it felt like to see it all for the first time…she just wished that they were not so obvious about it. Their gasps of amazement were starting to draw stares from the passer-bys…as was the tall, impassive blonde man who was walking silently beside her.

_Like a six foot blonde would not draw attention…just who am I trying to kid here?_ she rolled her eyes, _The last thing we need right now is--  
_  
"Hey! That's the Suzaku no Miko!" someone yelled.

_Oh crap…  
_  
"This can't be good…" Keisuke muttered, echoing her sentiments perfectly.

She turned, just in time to see one of the townsfolk pointing at her. All the people in the immediate vicinity froze for an instant…before everyone started converging on her, anxious to catch a glimpse of the legendary Priestess of Suzaku and beg her to grant their wishes.

In short, she was about to be mobbed…and it would most likely prove to be hazardous to her personal well-being.

"You certainly are famous, aren't you?" Nicholas lifted one blonde eyebrow at her. From the look on her face, he gathered that it was not the first time that she had been caught in a situation such as this. Sweeping a critical glance over the crowd closing in on them, "I suppose now would be a good time to get out of here," he remarked calmly.

"You think?" she mumbled sarcastically, trying to hide the fact that she was becoming increasingly nervous. Damn the man and his unflappable calmness! He was far more composed than anyone had the right to be, given the situation.

The next moment, much to the townsfolks' surprise and immense disappointment, their beloved Suzaku no Miko---the girl of legend, and the protector of the country of Konan---waved weakly to the rapidly advancing people; suddenly issuing a high-pitched squeak of alarm when some of them got too close for comfort…

… and turned tail, taking off down the street in the opposite direction at a dead run.

* * *

She leaned against the wall in a deserted alley, panting heavily, while at the same time scowling at the blonde man standing in front of her, as if everything had been his fault. He merely looked back at her with an expression of mild amusement, which annoyed her more than the fact that he didn't seem the least bit winded after running what felt like miles.

Keisuke was slumped against the opposite wall of the narrow alley, and Miaka thought that her brother sounded more like he was wheezing rather than panting.

Taka, on the other hand, appeared to have faired better…like Nicholas, he had the stamina of a trained athlete, and had covered the distance with little difficulty.

_Must be because they used to be seishi_, Miaka thought enviously.

It was by luck that their mad dash through Konan's capital had not been in vain. A short distance away, the imposing gates of the imperial palace loomed. Miaka could only hope that there would be no further mishaps in the hundred or so metres which separated them from their destination.

* * *

One of the guards at the palace gates had recognised Miaka as the Suzaku no Miko, and they had been admitted immediately. As they were led through the palace, Taka and Keisuke could not help gaping openly at the splendour surrounding them.

"Suzaku no Miko-sama, we are very glad to see you and Tamahome-sama again," the man who had been Hotohori's chief advisor approached them, bowing deeply to Miaka. She blushed slightly, uncomfortable with the respect he was showing her.

Introductions were swiftly made, with Miaka carefully skirting the subject of who the blonde man with her really was, save that he was a friend; and it was not long before they were comfortably seated in a large, richly appointed hall, at a table laden with food. Obviously, their hosts aimed to please, knowing that the Suzaku no Miko was happiest when accompanied by food…and a lot of it.

Nicholas noted that all of the royal advisors were present. Although he did not show it, he was feeling distinctly uneasy, mostly because of where he was and who he was…or rather, who he used to be. Everyone seemed to accept his presence because their Miko trusted him, yet a part of him was surprised that no one had recognised him as the shogun who had orchestrated the last war and led Kutou's army against them.

Once upon a time, he had been their enemy…and it was Nakago who was directly responsible for leaving Konan without its emperor. The Suzaku no Miko had forgiven him, but he knew that there were few like her. It was hard to ignore the memories, and for a moment, he almost envied Tamahome…almost, before he decided that facing a regrettable past was preferable to the frustration of not knowing and not remembering.

Giving himself a mental shake, Nicholas put aside his dark introspective thoughts and observed with amusement that Miaka had eaten most of the food on the table, finishing it at an amazing rate. He was vaguely intrigued (and he was certain that he was not the only one) by how she managed to squeeze that much food into her small, slender frame. It was nothing short of a marvel of nature and frankly, it was a wonder that she did not give herself indigestion…

* * *

The chief advisor, Katsu, cleared his throat politely, "Miko-sama, your arrival is timely, given the grave situation we are in," he said slowly, the lines of his face deepening with worry, making him look older than he already was.

"Is there really going to be a war?" Miaka asked, with her mouth half-full of food.

The old man looked grim, "Kutou has deployed troops to the border, and although they have not made any outwardly aggressive moves--"

"--they could be preparing to attack at any time," Keisuke deduced flatly, completing the other man's sentence. He watched Nicholas out of the corner of his eye, wanting to see if there was any reaction from the former shogun of Kutou at the news…only to find that the blonde man had an expressionless mask firmly in place; simply sitting in stoic silence, seemingly indifferent to the conversation.

The advisor sighed and nodded, "Exactly."

Silence descended as each person contemplated the implications of a war between Kutou and Konan. It was Miaka who finally broke the silence with an abrupt question.

"How is Empress Houki?"

The faces of the royal advisors seemed to darken even more. Katsu closed his eyes, his voice coming out strained and tired, "She has not been well, Miko-sama." His mouth was pressed into a tight, grim line as he continued, "A strange illness came upon her not long ago, and the imperial physicians have been doing everything they can…but her health continues to deteriorate. If this goes on, I fear…" he could not bring himself to finish hissentence, bowing his head in sorrow.

Miaka slowly put down the chopsticks she had been holding, "I must see her," her eyes darkened with emotion, her concern for the ailing empress showing clearly on her face.

"But in her condition, Her Majesty should not be disturbed--" one of the advisors protested loudly.

Keisuke glanced at the offending man, finding himself disliking the weaselly-looking advisor immediately. _In fact, I would not trust him as far as I can spit,_ he thought unkindly. He was about to open his mouth to say something which would put the advisor in his place, but Miaka beat him to it.

"I wish to see Empress Houki," she said evenly. Her voice had not been loud, but the words seemed to echo in the room. She rose from her chair and stepped away from the table, "Now." The tone of voice was one which brooked no argument. There was no mistaking it…it was an order from the Suzaku no Miko, not Miaka Yuuki.

_What the Suzaku no Miko wants, the Suzaku no Miko gets_, Keisuke fought the urge to grin, feeling a surge of pride. This was his sister,stubborn to a fault; once she set her mind to something she would not let anything stand in her way until she got it, come hell or high water. 

* * *

Nicholas watched the royal advisors scrambling the comply with their Miko's order. It was rather impressive, how smoothly she could make the transition from the ditzy high-school student to the dignified Suzaku no Miko in a space of a heartbeat. Her voice had been calm, with a quiet underlying authority as befitted the Priestess.

Apparently, she was not above pulling rank to get what she wanted. There had been that all-too-familiar, obstinate "I-will-not-lose" expression on her face, and that fierce glitter of determination in her hazel eyes. He knew first-hand, how indomitable her will could be when she decided on something…

The pompous court advisor who had tried to deny her request had not stood a chance.

He smirked inwardly. A group of seasoned courtiers and bureaucrats falling over themselves at the word of one small girl…Now THAT was something one didn't see everyday. 

* * *

Notes:

1) Sorry if this chapter was long and rather boring...but I was trying to define the various problems facing Konan (ie, the impending war, Houki's illness). The next chapter will have some action, hopefully...

2) I'm using Keisuke as a sort of observer. He watches everyone and how they react, particularlyNicholas. It is not that Keisuke doesn't trust him, it's just that he's still uncomfortable around Nicholas...but then again, everybody is, with the exception of Miaka!

3) Damn...is it my imagination or are there too many characters around? Maybe I should start thinking of ways to get rid of a few people...(Evil Smirk)


	3. Shadows

**Chapter 3: Shadows**

Miaka sat at the water's edge, staring out over the pond's glassy surface and finally allowed the façade of the Suzaku no Miko to dissolve. The clouds overhead threatened rain, but for once, she did not mind…the gloomy weather suited her mood.

Her visit to the empress had almost caused her to lose her tenuous hold over her emotions. To see Hotohori's wife so painfully thin and pale…lying so still that for a moment, she had feared the worst…it had broken Miaka's heart. It also brought back unpleasant memories of how they had found Nuriko, atop that mountain, lying in the snow…

_Hotohori_…_how can I help her? _she thought despairingly. _If only Mitsukake were here… _As miko, it had been her responsibility to protect Konan. She had promised Hotohori as much…_But I haven't done my job, have I? _Miaka thought bitterly, _I haven't done anything for Konan…and I can't do anything for Houki. _What was the use of being the Suzaku no Miko, when she did not even have the power to help her friends?

She had never felt so trapped and powerless. There were so many problems, and she had no idea where she should even start to look for solutions. The threat from Kutou, the empress' illness, Tamahome's memories…Wrapping her arms around herself, she closed her eyes, feeling the hot tears welling up and overflowing. 

She was glad that there was no one around to see her cry…especially her brother. She knew he cared a great deal about her, but sometimes he had the tendency to be over-protective, and the sight of her upset would be enough to send him into a righteous fit. At best, Keisuke would try to comfort her which would inevitably make her feel worse than she already did. At worst, he would go and attempt to punch out Nakago for reasons known only to himself…

Miaka was so immersed in her thoughts that she did not notice that a shadow had fallen over her small crouched form.

The next thing she knew, she was roughly pushed from behind, causing her to topple face-first into the water.

She spluttered, and flailed about wildly, but found to her horror that something—or someone—was holding her down, preventing her from surfacing for air. 

The seconds ticked by ceaselessly, relentlessly…and for the first time in a very long while, Miaka was afraid…Afraid of dying. _Not now_, a tiny voice at the back of her mind whispered desperately, _not like this… _

Her struggles were becoming weaker with each passing moment.

She could hear her heart slowing down, the beats growing further and further apart…

_Tamahome_…_Nakago…Help…_

Her lungs were burning, and her world was rapidly turning dark.

_Tama…ho…me…_

* * *

"Wow! I must say that the guests here are treated really well!" Keisuke poured himself another cup of tea from the fine porcelain teapot on the table.

The only other person in the room turned his attention from the view outside the window to Miaka's brother, "Indeed, though I doubt that they would be quite so hospitable if they knew who I really am," he said dryly, his lips lifting in a mirthless smile.

Keisuke was trying to think of an appropriate response to that, when the smile abruptly vanished.

Nicholas had tensed visibly, his eyebrows drawing together in a slight frown. He looked out towards the palace gardens, as if searching for something nobody else could see.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Keisuke asked in alarm, staring at the former Seiryuu seishi and trying to convince himself that he did not just see the other man's eyes flash an icy silver-blue for an instant before returning to their normal sky blue.

"I thought…I heard her calling me," Nicholas said softly, more to himself than to Keisuke. He could not describe it…a strange feeling nagged at him insistently, refusing to be ignored. And at the centre of it all, there was something else, a sense of…

_Urgency._

Something was very wrong, and his instincts had been proven right too many times in the past for him to disregard them now. 

Keisuke leapt to his feet, nearly spilling his scalding hot tea in the process. Nicholas was the one who had first sensed the Shijintenchisho becoming active again, and as Nakago, he had saved Miaka's life more than once. If the blonde man thought that Miaka was somehow in some kind of danger, then Keisuke was strongly inclined to believe him.

Before Keisuke even had time to put down his cup, Nicholas had already disappeared out the door.

* * *

Taka wandered through the palace gardens, looking for one person in particular. Miaka. She had requested to see the Empress alone, and it had been a few hours since he had last seen her. When he had questioned the guards a short while ago, they told him that she had already left. 

With everything which had occurred, he had not had a chance to talk to her privately…and there were so many questions he needed to ask her. No doubt Keisuke had tried to explain everything to him, but there were certain things that he needed to know, things which only Miaka could tell him…

He knew that Miaka was hurt by the fact that he did not remember anything from his—…Tamahome's past. Taka was not blind, he had seen the disappointment in her eyes even though she had tried so very hard to hide it. 

He wasn't even sure who he was anymore. Everyone here in the palace thought that he was Tamahome, and treated him like he was some kind of hero. Taka was starting to have serious doubts about himself, wondering if he would ever be able to match up to everyone's expectations of Tamahome. _Who exactly am I? Tamahome or Taka? Great…now I'm having an identity crisis! _he thought darkly.

He started in surprise when a large raindrop hit him on the forehead. It was beginning to drizzle, and judging by the look of the dark clouds overhead, it was bound to get heavier. Looking around, he realised that his feet had strayed off the regular path while he'd been wrapped up in his thoughts, taking him to one of the more secluded corners of the imperial garden. 

He was about to turn around and head back, when he suddenly saw something which almost made his heart stop. A man was on the bank of the pond…and he was holding someone down, forcing the person's head underwater.

Taka caught a glimpse of a familiar green blazer and realised with mounting horror, just who the victim was.

"MIAKA!" he yelled, _Please, Kami-sama…please don't let me be too late…_He sprinted towards them, throwing himself full force at her assailant, sending both of them tumbling into the water.

As he grappled desperately with the man who was fighting back savagely, he knew that he did not have much time…

Nor could he afford to lose...not when he was fighting for her life. 

* * *

The rain had started coming down in sheets, pelting at him mercilessly, as Keisuke followed Nicholas through the maze of paths, having to run to keep up with the blonde man. He chose not to argue with his enigmatic guide…Miaka was in danger, and he wasn't going to stop and question just how or why Nicholas knew where she was. 

They reached a clearing with a pond, and the scene before him made Keisuke's blood run cold. Taka was in the water, fighting someone, and Miaka…

He gasped in horror, "Oh my god…MIAKA!" She floated motionlessly, looking as peaceful as an angel, with tendrils of her russet hair forming a halo around her head.

He dashed to the bank, where Nicholas was already pulling her out of the water. Falling to his knees beside them, he took in her still, pale face, and blue-tinged skin; watching helplessly as Nicholas swiftly pressed two fingers to her throat, searching for a pulse.

"Is she…?" Keisuke did not try to hide the tremor in his voice. There were tears streaming down his face…or was it the rain?

Nicholas' mouth tightened into a grim, hard line. This was worse than the last time she had almost drowned…he could not feel her pulse this time. If he didn't do something quickly, it wasn't even going to be a case of history repeating itself.

"What can I do?" Keisuke was trembling, on the verge of panic, and Nicholas sincerely doubted that the Suzaku no Miko's brother would actually be of any help.

"Pray," he said shortly without looking up. He ripped her shirt open, not bothering with the buttons. A wisp of delicate white lace was revealed, but it was neither the time nor place to think about modesty…her heart had stopped beating and he had to restart it…Fast. If he knew her, she would probably screech at him for the indignity, accusing him of being a pervert…

_She would just have to be alive to do that, ne? _Nicholas thought sardonically. 

He shrouded himself in a layer of focused calm, concentrating on what he had to do and putting all other thoughts out of his mind, as he placed his palms, one hand on top of the other, against her chest. He would have to be careful. If he applied too much pressure, there was a chance that he would accidentally crack her ribs. 

"I trust you," her brother whispered, as if in response to his thoughts. Keisuke seemed to have pulled himself together, ready to carry out any instructions. Without having to be told, he had positioned himself so that he could give her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Nicholas did not acknowledge the words as he began the cardiac compressions, pushing down on her ribcage in a steady rhythm, trying force her heart to start beating on its own. 

_One, two, three, four, five…Breathe…_

Keisuke forced himself to remain calm. At Nicholas' silent nod, he blew air into Miaka's lungs after every fifth compression.� 

Over and over, they repeated the procedure, until he lost count of how many times he had done it. And with every round, Keisuke grew more desperate. He could almost see her slipping away forever…

_One, two, three, four, five…Breathe, dammit! BREATHE!…_

_She's not coming back…_Keisuke thought, as grief threatened to overwhelm him.

"Believe in her," Nicholas continued working even as he spoke; his voice curiously flat and his eyes a pale ice-blue, "Her will to live is stronger than anything."

* * *

Taka felt a brief surge of relief when Nicholas and Keisuke appeared. He turned his full attention to the man he was fighting, trusting them to save Miaka.

He silently cursed the fact that he was fighting in water, preventing him from executing any high kicks. The water resistance slowed down the movements of his legs, making them feel sluggish, and made it impossible for him to launch any attacks which would require fast movement and balance. 

He swung a fist at the other man's jaw, but was blocked by a raised forearm. Instinctively, Taka ducked, as his opponent retaliated with a counter-move. The blow glanced off his shoulder instead of connecting with its intended target: His head.

Gritting his teeth, Taka hooked his leg around the other man's, causing his adversary to lose his footing on the slimy stones which lined the bottom of the pond. Unfortunately, the man suddenly reversed their positions, turning Taka's own move against him. 

He used the last option available to him…and the most crude. 

Grabbing the man and bracing himself for the pain of impact, Taka drew his head back as far as he could…and rammed it into his opponent's forehead; head-butting the other man with all his might.

* * *

Keisuke wanted Nicholas to be right. He wanted to believe so badly, but how could someone who had been under so long—

_One, two, three, fou—_

Just as the last of his hope was about to disappear, Miaka's body abruptly jerked once…

….and right under Keisuke's disbelieving gaze, she suddenly came back to life with a gasp and a start. 

Nicholas immediately stood up and stepped back, allowing the Suzaku no Miko's brother to move in to support her and help her sit up. He watched silently as she coughed up the water in her lungs; taking deep rasping breaths as her body tried to compensate for her earlier oxygen deprivation. 

Closing his eyes briefly, he finally let the numbing sense of relief wash over him. 

It had been close…way too close. They had almost lost her.

A loud, sudden splash from the pond drew his attention, reminding him that her would-be assassin was still around. Nicholas realised that he had been so focused on the task of reviving Miaka that he had completely tuned out the fight between the two people in the pond. 

He was just in time to see Tamahome standing knee-deep in water, with a thin trickle of blood running down his face from his hairline and satisfied sneer on his lips. Miaka's attacker floated in the water in front of the dark-haired former Suzaku seishi…alive, but rendered unconscious by a blow to the head.

_So the reincarnation of Tamahome isn't as helpless as he looks_. Judging by the condition of both combatants, he noted that Taka had definitely retained some of Tamahome's brash fighting style. _Crude, but effective._

He turned away, looking back to the girl whose life he had just saved…again. Her brother was hugging her tightly, laughing and crying at the same time. 

Abruptly, a thought occurred to him and he tilted his head up to study the sky, realising that something odd, yet strangely appropriate had happened. Idly, he wondered whether anyone else had noticed...

Nicholas allowed himself a small, grim smile.

The rain had stopped, when the Suzaku no Miko had come back to life.

* * *

Notes:

1) Nicholas tends to go into what I'll call "full-Nakago-mode" during a crisis...this means that he becomes cold, calm and detached, allowing him to concentrate fully and objectively on the situation at hand without getting distracted by emotions. When this happens, his eyes change back into Nakago's silver-blue/ice-blue...

2) Theoretically, that IS the correct way to do CPR, but don't take my word for it...Anyway, they have these dummies which you can practice CPR on. If you do it correctly, a green light comes on, if not, a red light (which indicates that you've just killed the person you were trying to save). Well...during a first aid course I took, I kept killing the dummy...Oops.

3) I hope no one was having any hentai thoughts when Nakago/Nicholas ripped open Miaka'sshirt...Ahem And yes, I'm aware that the last time he did it was when he was about to "rape" her...This time, he had to do it to save her! Honest!


	4. Two Sides Of A Coin

**Chapter 4: Two Sides of a Coin **

Dying was definitely an experience Miaka was sure she never wanted to repeat. It was like being trapped in a dark, featureless void, alone and afraid. She had felt so weak and spent, too tired to fight her fate. There had been voices, echoing around her, whispering to her, encouraging her to rest…cold icy fingers reaching out towards her…

And then, there had been something else, another presence…a distant voice, calm and deep, different from the others. Although the words themselves had been indistinct, she had somehow been able to sense it quietly urging her not to give up. It had been then that a sort of energy had wrapped around her, banishing the cold and lending her strength; ultimately leading her back into the world of the living. _That energy, it had felt so familiar…_ Miaka closed her eyes, trying to place when she had last felt something similar, but the answer stubbornly continued to elude her. 

The palace officials had been suitably distressed by the attempt on their Miko's life. Guard patrols were doubled, and additional guards had been posted outside her door. There would always be someone near her, in case she was attacked again.

Everyone fussed over her, complying with her every request, be it for food or drink. Keisuke and Taka decided that they would move into her room so that they could be with her at all times, watching over her to make sure that nothing happened. Undeniably, it was very sweet and thoughtful of them… 

…and it made her feel like screaming. 

The two of them were fluttering around like…_Like pigeons in a square! _Miaka fumed silently, thoroughly irritated. They treated her like an invalid; refusing to let her get out of bed, insisting that she needed to rest in order to recover completely. 

_If I hear one more 'Miaka, how are you feeling?', I think I'm going to kill someone! _She ground her teeth together in frustration. Everybody seemed to be going out of their way to be nice to her and it was slowly but surely driving her insane.

Only one person, it seemed, had the good sense to leave her well alone. In fact, she had seen neither hide nor hair of him since they had bought her back from the pond. The moment she was safely in her room, he had discreetly (and wisely) made his exit, leaving her at the mercy of her brother's over-protective fraternal instincts.

_Some friend HE is…Where the heck did Nakago disappear off to anyway? _She still had a score to settle with the man, and she couldn't yell at him if he wasn't around! She had been absolutely mortified when her brother had told her how they had saved her, and why her shirt was torn…

_THAT…THAT BLONDE HENTAI! He must have gotten a first-class view of my—…_Miaka could feel herself turning as red as a boiled lobster as she thought of what Nakago must have seen. Worse still, Keisuke had told her, with an unholy amount of glee, exactly where the blonde man's hands had been…

* * *

Yohei slowly regained consciousness, only to find his hands and feet in shackles, and that he was chained to a wall…inside a jail cell, in a dungeon. The air smelled musty, and the only illumination came from a lone flickering torch some distance away.

_They certainly aren't taking any chances, _he thought in resignation. He had failed in his mission to kill the Suzaku no Miko, and there would be no second chance accorded to him. He silently cursed the three people who had suddenly come to the Miko's aid. How they had known that she was in danger? If it had not been for them, interfering at the most crucial moment, that bratty little girl would be dead by now, and he would have been a very rich man.

He wondered if he was going to be executed, or whether they would just let him rot away in this dungeon. Either way, there was no hope of escape. The ones who had instructed him to dispose of the Suzaku no Miko would not risk revealing their identities trying to free him. 

"I'm glad you're finally awake," someone said smoothly out of the darkness.

He started in surprise, causing the chains to rattle loudly; realising for the first time, that he was not alone in the cell. "Who's there?" he called out, trying to mask his apprehension with anger, "What do you want?"

A shadow separated itself from the darkest corner of his cell, stepping forward just far enough for him to see the glint of fair hair and pale blue eyes in the dim light.

His visitor's lips curved into a cold, thin smile; sinister in its beauty.

"I am Nakago, and you are going to tell me everything you know."

* * *

"Miaka…" Taka said tentatively, "How are you feeling?" He sat down on the chair beside her bed, wondering if she was all right. He'd been observing her for the last ten minutes, and in all that time, she had not noticed his presence at all; instead, she had been alternating between muttering to herself and blushing a bright red for no apparent reason…

_I don't want to strangle Tamahome…I don't want to strangle Tamahome…_Miaka repeated to herself, forcing her temper under control. She turned to him, "I'm okay, I guess," she said, pasting a bright smile on her face.

"Yokatta," Taka looked relieved at her answer and returned her smile with one of his own.

Her heart melted at the sight, making her forget everything else. It had been so long since she last saw Tamahome's gentle smile…slowly, as though in a trance, she reached out, her fingertips lightly tracing his lips…his smile.

_Tamahome…_

Taka sat shock-still, his violet eyes wide, too stunned to move or pull away. Her touch was intoxicating, and he suddenly felt dazed…Keisuke had told him that he had loved this girl deeply in his past life, and he did not doubt it. She affected him in a way no one else did, and he had seen so many things to love about her. Compassion, loyalty, determination…

Even if he did not remember anything from Tamahome's past, it would be so easy to fall in love with her as Taka…

Miaka suddenly realised what she was doing, and jerked back, almost as if she'd been burned, "Go—Gomen…I…I didn't mean to—"� she stammered, turning red in embarrassment. _Miaka, you baka! He doesn't remember! Now he's going to think that you are some weird pervert, touching him like that! _she wailed mentally. She had no idea what had come over her…but whatever it was, she had been powerless to fight it.� 

"Gomen nasai," she whispered, unable to meet his eyes.

"Don't!" The abrupt word caused her to look up at him, startled, as he took hold of her hand before she could pull it back. "Don't apologise," he said more gently, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you, about…this."

He looked sadly at her, "I…wish I could remember what we shared before." His hand tightened slightly around hers, "I promised that I would protect you…but just now, at the pond—"

"No!" she shook her head violently, "It's not your fault!" Her eyes flashed dangerously. She was angry, not at him, never at him…but at the thought that he would blame himself for something which had been beyond his control. The only thing that mattered was that he had been there to rescue her.

"You don't understand…I…I didn't sense anything! I could not sense that you were in danger," he closed his eyes miserably, "It was by luck that I was even there!" His voice was soft and filled with remorse, "I should have reached you sooner…I should have _known_! If it had not been for Nicholas and your brother…you would have—" 

"Stop it!" Before he could berate himself any further, she had wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug; her cheek pressed against his chest, right over his heart. "Stop it…" her voice trembled as she tried not to cry, but the tears were too close to the surface, and they glittered on her eyelashes, "Please don't blame yourself! It wasn't your fault…Onegai…" 

He sighed, his body automatically relaxing in her embrace; the tension leaving his muscles. It felt… right. 

"I'm sorry, Miaka," he slowly lifted a hand to stroke her russet hair, marvelling at how soft it was…how perfect she was. He had searched for her all his life, and she was everything that he had imagined her to be—no, she was _more_…His dreams couldn't compare with reality. A dream could never possess the same depth of character…or the same incredible warmth of being.

_I could fall in love with her, _Taka thought once again, a strange sense of peace stealing over him. 

The truth was, he was already halfway there. 

* * *

Keisuke peered through the door, not caring that he would probably be mistaken for a perverted voyeur if anyone saw him. He watched the scene unfolding within the room, grinning happily to himself. He could practically see Taka beginning to fall for Miaka, and it would not be long before the two were back together the same way they had been before. _They belong together, _he believed beyond all doubt, _like two sides of the same coin. _

_Theirs is truly a love that transcends time and space…_The mere notion of it was hopelessly romantic; a beautiful fairytale come true—

"Do you always spy on your sister like that?"

He jumped violently at the voice, whipping around to glare at the blonde man who was standing behind him. It was disconcerting, how Nicholas seemed to be able to move without making a sound. If there was one thing that Keisuke hated, it was people sneaking up on him at the most inopportune moments. _How does he manage to keep doing that? _he wondered sourly. If he did not know any better, he would swear that Nicholas almost seemed to enjoy catching people unawares.

"Where have you been?" Keisuke said rather testily, changing the subject and trying to hide his embarrassment, "Miaka wanted to talk to you!" 

Nicholas shot him a mildly amused look, "It would seem that she found someone more interesting to talk to…" His lips lifted fractionally in a faintly suggestive smirk, "Or is she doing something other than talking?" 

The barely hidden innuendo was enough to draw another glare from Keisuke, "They're just getting to know each other again…and we should not disturb them!" he retorted vehemently, wondering whether Nicholas, for all his obviously superior intellect, understood the concept of romance…_I'll bet the guy doesn't have a single romantic bone in his body!�__�_

It wasn't that he disliked Nicholas…in fact, he was eternally grateful to the erstwhile Seiryuu seishi for saving Miaka's life, but it was at times like this, that Keisuke completely empathised with his sister's frequent complaints. _Now I know why she keeps insisting that he's an evil, sadistic jerk…the man really DOES have a truly twisted sense of humour._

The person who was supposedly Miaka's friend arched an eyebrow at him, and he suddenly had the sinking feeling that Nicholas was about to say something which was going to make even the veiled implications of what had been insinuated earlier pale in comparison. 

It turned out to be one of the rare times that Keisuke was actually right, making him wish that he was somewhere else—_anywhere_ else at the moment…

"I hope they're using protection," the blonde man drawled calmly.

Keisuke buried his face in his hands and sighed.

* * *

She was still in Taka's embrace, and it was like being wrapped in a soft blanket. Even though his name might have changed, nothing else had. Tamahome's scent was still the same, the warmth of his body…the security she felt, cradled in his arms…it was all still there.

She would been content to remain like this forever…

"They're getting to know each other again…and we should not disturb them!" 

The outside world rudely intruded in on them in the form of Keisuke's voice. It came from directly beyond the door, and it made Miaka suspect he had been spying on her. For a second, she wondered who her brother was speaking to…until she realised that there was only one other person who could possibly—

"I hope they're using protection." 

_Bingo. I would recognise that arrogant jerk's voice anywhere. Only Nakago is capable of choosing the most inconvenient time to interrupt—Wait a minute…PROTECTION! He can't mean…! HOW DARE HE!_

Taka felt his face turning crimson at the overheard comment, but before he had a chance to say anything, Miaka was already out of his arms and storming to the door. And for the briefest of moments, he could almost swear that he heard the crackle of electricity building up…

He began wondering whether it would be wise to follow her…perhaps now would be a good time to check if there was any dust under the bed, or behind the dresser, or maybe under the table…

Miaka yanked open the door, her enraged hazel eyes raking over the two men outside. Her brother looked as if he wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. Nakago, on the other hand…

Nakago merely smirked back at her. 

The same smirk which never failed to infuriate her, drive her up the wall, and make her blood boil. 

"ECCHI! …YOU…YOU HENTAI!" She let loose, exploding at him with all the force of a long overdue volcanic eruption, "YOU WERE SPYING ON ME! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S SUCH A THING AS PRIVA—" 

"Your brother was spying on you, I just arrived," the blonde man interjected smoothly, blithely ignoring the death glares Keisuke was directing at him. "And if you're done, I believe it's time to pay another visit to the Empress." 

The announcement effectively accomplished the near-impossible task of stopping the Suzaku no Miko on her tracks in the middle of her ranting. Three pairs of eyes displaying various levels of confusion blinked back at him in response to his unexpected statement. 

Keisuke was the first to recover, "What are we going to do when we see Empress Houki?" It was the most logical question he could come up with on short notice. He was still a little dazed from Miaka's outburst, and his ears were still ringing. When his sister got as worked up as she had been a second ago, people usually ran for cover. Miaka in a foul mood was an impressive sight, and it was the first time Keisuke had ever seen anyone even attempt to interrupt her mid-tirade, much less bring it to a complete halt. Nicholas had done both single-handedly with the kind of casual disregard which could only have been pulled off by someone who was supremely self-assured. _He didn't even wince when she screeched at him! A truly brave man…_His respect for Nicholas went up another notch. It was amazing that the two of them weren't still enemies; they certainly rubbed each other in all the wrong ways…

Silver-flecked blue eyes glanced coolly at him, and Keisuke could not help but notice that they were a few shades lighter than before. Nicholas' mouth twisted into a sardonic, almost predatory smile.

"We're going hunting."

* * *

Note:

1) When Nicholas refers to himself as "Nakago"…WATCH OUT! It means that he's about to do something ruthless and typically Nakago-like. Generally, he's not very nice to any of the other characters, but in his own twisted way, he's helping Miaka. In "This Time Around" he was obligated to help her out because he was bound by honour to do so, but now he helps her simply because he chooses to. It's almost sweet, in a way…

2) Bwahahaha…the comment about using protection was too good to resist! Nakago equipped with knowledge of modern Ahem conveniences…the possibilities are endless… 


	5. Making Amends

**Chapter 5: Making Amends**

She was back at Houki's bedside, barely a day after having been there last. This time however, a few more people were in the room with her. Miaka had been as perplexed as everyone else when Nakago had made the unusual suggestion to have the advisors and royal physicians present, leading her to suspect that he somehow knew a lot more than he was letting on. However, when she had tried to get more information out of him, his responses had been cryptic at best.

Not for the first time, Miaka thanked her lucky stars, immensely glad that he was on their side. _At least he's not plotting to kill anyone this time…is he? _She eyed him cautiously; at the moment, his attention seemed to be on the thin, frail figure of the ailing empress. Except for the faint, thoughtful look which passed fleetingly over his face, the blonde man's expression was as frustratingly impassive as ever.

Unfortunately, his non-expression did not fool her for a second.

Having been on the receiving end of his schemes more times than she cared to recall, it was not at all surprising that she had learnt how to recognise the warning signs…

_I know he's planning something, the diabolical freak! But what exactly is he up to? _When Nakago got like that, it was enough to make her break out in a nervous sweat. The last time, those brilliant "plans" of his had resulted in her being trapped under him on a bed in a severely compromised position in the middle of the night; not to mention what had happened _after_ that—

Miaka fought down the blush creeping up her neck to her face. Never mind that Nakago's actions had saved her from getting abducted and sold into prostitution and/or slavery by crooked inn proprietors and their nosy wives…THAT was just a small technicality. _I'm NOT going to think about that hentai kissing me! _she told herself firmly, trying to banish the embarrassing memory back into the dark recesses of her mind.

Turning her attention back to Hotohori's wife, she knelt beside the bed and took one of the woman's limp hands in both of her own, nearly recoiling in shock when she felt how hot and feverish Houki's skin was. If Miaka had only looked up at that moment, she would have seen Nicholas' eyes narrow slightly. However, she was too absorbed in trying to rouse the Empress to notice his subtle reaction.

"Empress Houki…" she said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "It's me, Miaka…I've come to visit you again! See? I've brought some of my friends with me…"

At first, nothing happened, then slowly, the other woman's eyelids fluttered open. Her eyes were glazed over, and there was a distant look on her pale face, as if she was straining to hear Miaka from across a great distance.

To the girl's dismay, the gaze which drifted over her was blank. There was no hint of recognition, no sign that—

"Kotei…Heika…?"

The words were no more than a breath of air issuing from between cracked, bloodless lips. Miaka tensed, wondering if her illness was causing Houki to hallucinate… before realising that the Empress was not looking at her at all. Instead, Houki's eyes were wide open, staring past her at…

_Nakago? _Miaka blinked, turning her head to look helplessly up the blonde man standing beside her, the confusion obvious on her face. She nervously sucked in a breath when she noticed that the muscles in Nakago's jaw had tightened, and his blue eyes were as cold and hard as ice. _Why would Houki address Nakago as 'Your Majesty'…? _

"Have you really returned to me?" Houki whispered hopefully, trying to sit up; weakly reaching out towards Nakago in a pathetic attempt to touch him.

_Oh no…_The reason for Houki's strange behaviour finally dawned on Miaka, nearly causing her to weep in sympathy. Houki loved her husband so much and wanted to see him so badly that her fever ravaged mind had conjured up her heart's desire…_The person she sees standing here is Hotohori, not Nakago! Houki-san…what has this horrible illness done to you? Please…please, I know that you miss Hotohori, but you have to snap out of this!_

Nicholas watched the woman on the bed reaching out to him, knowing that she wasn't really seeing him, but the Suzaku shichi seishi, Hotohori…

The man he had killed.

All of a sudden, he felt something which he had never expected to feel: _Guilt_. Raw and sharp, sweeping through him; the intensity of it taking him by surprise. For an instant, it almost overwhelmed him, before he ruthlessly clamped down on the emotion, reminding himself that he could not afford to be distracted. If everything went the way he had predicted, then hopefully, the Empress would recover. She was little more than skin and bones; barely hanging on to her sanity, but despite her condition, it was obvious that she had once been beautiful…

He had taken this woman's husband away from her; and her grief, coupled with her mysterious ailment, had reduced her to this wretched state. Nothing he could ever do or say would bring Konan's emperor back…and no amount of penitence on his part could ever replace what she had lost.

He had caused her such immeasurable pain, but now perhaps, he could reverse it in some small measure by helping her regain her health and her dignity.

* * *

"Nakago?" He could see the concern in the Suzaku no Miko's eyes, could hear the mute question in her voice. _Focus, _he rebuked himself sternly, _can't let that happen again…You're really slipping in the emotional control department, aren't you? _his annoying mental voice added snidely_. _

Paying no heed to his mind's acerbic remark, he met Miaka's gaze calmly; not a single trace of the inner turmoil and regret which had assaulted him only moments ago evident on his face. "Ask to see the prescription they've been giving her," he instructed her in a low voice.

She gave him an odd look, and he could almost feel her bewilderment. She opened her mouth, as if about to ask him a question, then seemed to think better of it. Slanting a brief worried glance at the empress, the confusion in her expressive hazel eyes faded and she nodded slightly, apparently trusting his advice and resigning herself to whatever plan he had in mind. _Good girl. _

"I would like to see medicine the physicians have been using to treat Empress Houki," Miaka turned to the royal advisors, addressing them directly. The tone of her voice was polite, but firm enough to suggest that it was more than a just friendly request.

The chief advisor bowed deeply, before gesturing to one of the empress' personal handmaidens. The girl bowed her head in acknowledgement and hurried to carry out the order.

* * *

Miaka was becoming edgy. _I hope Nakago knows what he's doing…_She realised that he could have easily chosen not to help her or elected to stay indifferent to Konan's internal affairs, now that he was no longer bound by a promise to make sure that she stayed in one piece. _And despite what he said about 'already having a full time job', he saved my life and now he's helping Houki…_

She did not doubt that he probably had his own reasons for deciding to interfere. Nakago was sadistic, caustic, manipulative, and generally hell to get along with, but she trusted him as much as she would trust one of her own seishi. Readily and unconditionally. _With my life._ He still enjoyed insulting her; not giving a thought to sparing her feelings, but she also knew that he would be there when it really counted. He was a friend, in the truest sense of the word. _Her_ friend. And she respected his decisions…no matter how obtuse they seemed.

The various herbs and medicinal concoctions were being set out on a table, most of them getting only a cursory glance from Nicholas. He recognised a large proportion of them as being the conventional treatments of the time for the Empress' apparent symptoms. _It's a wonder we ever made it through without the benefits of modern medicine, _he thought wryly.

Eyes narrowed speculatively, he swiftly considered and just as quickly dismissed each and every item on the table until his attention was unaccountably drawn to a small, innocuous package at the far end. Meticulously wrapped in white paper into a triangular bundle, he was almost sure this was what he was looking for.

Reaching out and picking it off the table, Nicholas felt the level of curiosity, confusion and…

He could sense that someone in the room was becoming extremely nervous, and the waves of tension that person was emitting were almost tangible.

Aware that all eyes in the room were following his every movement, he deftly unwrapped the package. One look at the contents confirmed all his suspicions and banished any doubts he might have had. _Just as I thought. _All the evidence, the Empress' unexplained symptoms, his own observations…

He should have realised it sooner.

It seemed that the Suzaku no Miko's would-be assassin had been telling the truth after all. It really was a pity that the man had been so reluctant to part with the information, and Nicholas had found it necessary to…motivate the prisoner to talk.

He allowed his lips to curl into a faint smirk before turning a glacial blue stare on the group of advisors and doctors, causing a few of them to shrink back unconsciously, finding himself enjoying their discomfort. _Let the hunt begin._

When he finally did speak, the complete lack of any emotion was enough to make even Miaka shiver.

"I was not aware," he paused, his voice becoming dangerously quiet, "That it was standard practice to treat an illness with poison."


	6. A House of Cards

**Chapter 6: A House Of Cards**

His words hung over the room's occupants, eliciting responses of shock and disbelief. He stood unmoving, waiting calmly for his statement to sink in completely.

"Nakago, are you…sure about this?" Miaka asked slowly, all the colour draining from her face. Her eyes begged him to tell her that what he had just said was a joke…that it was all a misunderstanding. 

To find out that someone was trying to kill the empress must have come as an unpleasant surprise for her, and Nicholas could see that she was deeply shaken. Sometimes, he wondered how she managed it; to feel everything so deeply without going insane or losing control…to have such a large emotional investment in the welfare of another person. An attempt had been made on her own life not more than twenty-four hours ago, but she seemed to care more about other people than she did about herself… 

Yet, at the same time, he understood—perhaps better than anyone—that her ability to feel strongly was the source of her strength and a vital part of who she was. Without it, she would be a shadow of herself; no more than—

_A character in a book. How wonderfully ironic._ The thought would probably have amused him under different circumstances. 

Nevertheless, he would not lie to her, nor did he try to soften the blow by disguising the truth behind meaningless words.

"Yes," he said flatly. 

He replaced the white powder on the table, taking care not to spill any of it, while at the same time never shifting his gaze from the advisors and palace doctors. "Who prescribed this?"

"This is completely unacceptable behaviour! Are we going to let this…this…_outsider_ come in here and start accusing us? He may be the Miko's friend, but that doesn't give him the right! He doesn't know what he's talking about!" One of the advisors exploded indignantly, and Nicholas noticed that it was the very same one who had tried to deny the Suzaku no Miko's request to see the empress.

Nicholas directed a thin, frosty smile at the weaselly-looking advisor, "Don't I? Then why is it that your empress is being given a poison which weakens the body, causes a persistent fever until the person taking it eventually dies…seemingly of an illness? A poison which, incidentally, can only be found in Kutou?"

"A lie! That is the most preposterous thing I have ever heard!" the other man spat disdainfully.

"I believe him," a voice interrupted softly. Miaka got to her feet, almost visibly shaking with barely contained fury. _Someone trying to murder Houki?…WHY? _In that moment, a shimmering veil of red chi surrounded her, swirling around her body like a burning flame…

The fire of Suzaku.

The advisors gaped openly, having never seen such an impressive display of temper from their Miko. Even Keisuke and Taka appeared to have been taken aback by the manifestation of Miaka's anger.

Abruptly, one of the physicians fell to his knees before the angry priestess, his words spilling over themselves in his nervousness. Babbling almost incoherently, he admitted to prescribing the poison which would have condemned the empress to a slow and cruel death. 

"I never wanted it do this…" he finally whispered brokenly, hanging his head in shame; remorse heavy in his voice.

_The house of cards has begun to collapse_, but Nicholas knew that it was not over yet. Far from it, in fact. "There is someone else involved," he announced calmly, unruffled by the events which had transpired…he had seen the Suzaku no Miko's tantrums too many times for them to have any significant effect on him. Instead, he regarded the physician coldly, "Who ordered you to do it?" 

The man lifted his head, his face completely drenched in sweat. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, before slowly pointing a shaking finger at one of the royal advisors. "Him," the physician's voice had stopped trembling, and his eyes were now filled with uncompromising hatred, "He told me that my family would be made to suffer if I did not do what he wanted!"

The weaselly advisor was taken aback by the accusation, his face first going pale, then turning red with anger, "This is a conspiracy! A conspiracy to discredit me—"

"It is odd that you should use that word," Nicholas remarked impassively, "The assassin you sent to kill the Suzaku no Miko said exactly the same thing." His blue eyes gleamed maliciously as he made one final, cutting comment, "Unfortunately for you, he wasn't very good…you could have hired someone more skilled for half the price."� 

Beside him, Miaka raised a trembling hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp of horror. She took an unsteady step backwards and somehow managed to trip over her own feet. She braced herself for the pain which would surely result from her carelessness…only to experience the sensation of someone catching her before she could fall.

Luminous hazel eyes met soft violet ones as time seemed to stand still. Strong arms circled around her waist; supporting her weight, holding her up… 

_I would never let you fall…not ever…_

* * *

With everyone else distracted by the Suzaku no Miko's near accident, only one person noticed the advisor pulling out a dagger hidden in his robes and lunging for the sick woman on the bed, aiming to plunge it into her heart in a last ditch attempt to kill her…

_Once she is dead, it will an easy victory for Kutou…_The Empress was as good as dead already, and it would not take much to send her on her way. A second was all he needed…and after he took care of her, he would exact his revenge on that interfering blonde-haired man who had exposed all his plans. _She will die, and I'll make sure that he joins her! _It mattered little to him that he would probably be caught and executed for his treachery shortly thereafter; his sole concern was to get rid of the Empress-Regent…anything which happened to him afterwards was of little consequence. Gentokuin was almost assured of his success, _almost there…_

…until he felt his hand being caught in a painfully tight grip and sharply twisted. 

The sound of the bones in his wrist snapping was followed swiftly by the metallic clutter of the knife hitting the polished marble floor as it fell from his nerveless fingers. He caught sight of something dark and dangerous reflected in silver-blue eyes for an instant, before a vicious kick to his side sent him flying across the room, causing him to hit the opposite wall hard. 

Everyone stared in stunned silence as the advisor slid down to the floor in an unconscious heap…

moments before they were jolted back to their senses by the guards bursting in through the doors, having been alerted by the noise.

"Take Advisor Gentokuin away. Have him locked up and interrogated when he awakens, " the chief advisor ordered tersely. He was dismayed to learn that they had a traitor in their midst. _All this time, we have been so blind…_Katsu had been loyal to the late Emperor Saihitei, and he had sworn to serve the Empress as best as he could after her husband's death. 

_Had it not been for the Suzaku no Miko and her friend…_he shuddered to think of what would have happened. He turned around to look at the blonde man who had saved the Empress' life… he had to admit, that the Suzaku no Miko chose her friends well.

_Demo…_Katsu could not shake the feeling that there was something about the man which seemed hauntingly familiar. 

* * *

"Nakago, how did you know about the poison?" Miaka asked the minute they got back to her room; her curiosity eating her alive from the inside. She was glad that Houki would be all right…the palace physicians had assured her that now the cause of Houki's condition had been discovered and put to an end, the Empress would make a full recovery. 

"When you held the Empress' hand, I noticed that her fingernails had a blue tinge, which is an indication of the poison accumulating over a period of time," Nicholas turned a disconcertingly direct stare on her. "My theory was confirmed when I saw the white power they were giving her. They use the same substance to get rid of people in Kutou so as not to arouse suspicion." 

Her eyes widened in astonishment at how sharp his powers of observation were. _For him to notice a small detail like that…Amazing._ She frowned, deep in thought, "What exactly is this poison anyway?"

"It exists in the real world as well. You might know it as arsenic," Nicholas stated impassively, giving a soft, short snort of amusement when she looked at him blankly; obviously having never heard of it before. _Still as naïve and innocent as I remembered, _he was almost surprised at how little she had changed. _Older, but no wiser, it would appear…_a voice at the back of his mind noted.

"Rat poison…" Keisuke muttered as he studied Nicholas carefully, "but you knew that Gentokuin was a traitor, even before that, didn't you? That's why you wanted the advisors present…so he would be pushed into giving himself away!" 

From his place beside Miaka, Taka raised a tentative question, his violet eyes going from Keisuke to Nicholas in confusion, "How did you know that he was guilty?" He had seen the cold, ruthlessly efficient way the blonde man had dealt with the advisor, which only served to increase his discomfort around Nicholas. _Definitely not someone I would want to get into a fight with…or meet in a dark alley. _Although Taka himself was relatively skilled in martial arts, he had no illusions as to who the victor would be if they ever met as adversaries.��� 

Before Nicholas could answer, Keisuke cut in, "I overheard one of the guards saying that the guy who tried kill Miaka had some of his fingers mysteriously broken…" he said slyly. "How many fingers did you break before he told you what you wanted to know, Nicholas?"

Miaka winced empathically, her eyes expressing abject disapproval at what the handsome former shogun had apparently done. "So that's where you disappeared off to earlier…" she glared at him accusingly. 

_No one deserves to be tortured by Nakago…not even if that person did try to kill me!_

"Eight or nine," Nicholas answered vaguely, as though the issue was of little concern to him. Deliberately ignoring the Suzaku no Miko, he calmly poured himself a cup of tea. "The nice thing about dungeons…" the corners of his lips lifted in a humourless smirk, "No one can hear you scream."

_For hurting Miaka, I would have been happy to break more than his fingers…_Keisuke was silent for a moment, "You should have asked me along," he told the blonde man, a hard glint in his eyes, "I would have helped." 

* * *

Note:

1) I got the name Gentokuin from Hotohori's novel (FY Gaiden), "Suzaku Hi Den". In the novel, Gentokuin was actually an ambitious eunuch who worked for the previous emperor. Here, I decided to put him as a corrupt advisor who's batting for the other team!

2) Finally, the answer to what Nicholas was doing in the dungeons earlier…Despite the fact that he's now one of the "good guys", he can be quite ruthless when the situation calls for it. Nicholas "allows" Nakago's violent tendencies to surface, mostly for the purpose of intimidation…


	7. The More Things Change

**Chapter 7: The More Things Change…**

The situation did not look good, and just when Keisuke believed that things could not possibly get any worse…

They did.

They were having a private discussion with Lord Katsu in his study. It was only early morning, but the advisor already looked tired and haggard. _Probably been up the whole night, _he decided. In fact, it was doubtful that anyone in the palace had gotten a great deal of sleep lately…Keisuke himself included. Everyone had dark shadows under their eyes…_except Nicholas, _he amended silently. _And I've never even seen him resting! Unless he sleeps with his eyes open…_

Somehow, the thought of anyone doing such a thing made his skin crawl. _Still, I wouldn't put it past him! That man is NOT normal…_

"I'm afraid this conspiracy goes far deeper than we originally thought," Katsu informed them grimly. "We had Gentokuin's quarters searched, and found several letters from Lord Shinjiku." The advisor's hand clenched into a fist, crumpling the paper he held. "There was mention of a pact which had been made with Kutou. Once Empress Houki was dead, Kutou's army would invade and make Konan one of their protectorates. In return for his help, Kutou would put Lord Shinjiku on the throne and recognise him as the new emperor." 

Miaka's eyebrows drew together in a frown, not knowing the significance of the name, "Lord Shinjiku?" 

"One of Hotohori-sama's half-brothers," Katsu said bitterly through gritted teeth.

Miaka paled, "Hotohori's…half-brother was behind all this?" She sagged back into the chair she was sitting in, disbelief written across her face, "Why? Why would he do something like this…to his own family?" she whispered, her eyes clouding over with sadness. _Naze! Family should support one another…care for each other…_

"Lord Shinjiku believes that he should have been emperor instead of Hotohori-sama, and now he is determined to get what he wants even if it involves becoming a traitor and allying himself with Konan's enemies." Katsu spat angrily, his expression was one of disgust.

Keisuke listened carefully, becoming more and more apprehensive with each passing moment. _We just stumbled on an ants' nest…solving one mystery only reveals a bigger and more serious problem! When will all this end? _He could only hope that everything could be resolved soon, before someone got seriously hurt…

He turned his head to see how Nicholas was reacting the news…only to find that the former Seiryuu shichi seishi wasn'treacting. _No big surprise there_. Being the only person in the room who was not sitting down; the blonde man had his arms loosely folded and was leaning against the wall by the window; leisurely taking in the view of the sunlit garden outside. Relaxed and indifferent, he did not seem to be paying the slightest attention to anyone else. In fact, Keisuke thought that Nicholas looked almost…bored.

"But why go to all the trouble to kill the Empress? Kutou's army is large enough to invade Konan whenever they feel like it," Taka pointed out, a puzzled note in his voice. For someone who, up until recently, had no idea that he had once been part of the world inside the Book of the Four Gods, he was adapting relatively quickly to the situations they were faced with; accepting the fact that the world inside the Shijintenchisho was as real as the world they had come from. The dangers they had faced so far were certainly real enough. 

The advisor sighed, wearily shaking his head to indicate he had no answer to the question before lifting a hand to gingerly rub his temples, and Keisuke would have laid odds that Katsu was nursing a massive headache. He himself was starting to feel an insistent dull throb behind his eyes which promised to develop into a full-blown migraine in the near future. _Uhhhh_…_Maybe not quite the mother of all headaches…more like a close aunt. A very close aunt._

"Ahou." 

Nicholas had not bothered hiding his disdain, and the single word fairly dripped with contempt. However, it was not clear who the insult was directed at, Taka or Katsu. _Or more likely, all of us, _Keisuke thought, tensing with annoyance. _He's got one hell of an attitude problem! Good looks, intelligence that is probably off the charts, but the social graces of a scorpion! _

"I'm amazed you people haven't figured it out yet." The blonde man did not turn to face them, but continued looking out the window. 

Miaka stared at Nicholas in tired surprise, the sum total of all she could muster at the moment. The tension and anxiety of the last few days had taken their toll, and she was too worn out to be angry at him. Anger simply took up too much energy…

"You know what's going on?" she asked softly, letting her exhaustion show, knowing that he would catch the faint plea in her voice.� 

"You could say that." A hint of wry amusement in his tone. Pausing slightly to give himself some time, he rapidly and systematically organised his thoughts. It really wasn't difficult for him to see what Kutou was up to…after all, this had been one of the scenarios he had mapped out when he had been in control of Kutou's military forces…

Although some of the details had been changed to fit the current situation, they were using a strategy he had devised years ago. 

Once again, the deeds of his past life had come back to haunt him.

When he spoke again, his voice was cool and unfailingly logical. All traces of emotion were gone, as if they had never existed. "Kutou has had its eye on Konan for years, and now the perfect opportunity has presented itself in the form of an ambitious member of the royal family who is willing to betray his own people. If the Empress dies, this country will be thrown into political turmoil. In the chaos, it will be an easy matter for Kutou to invade, and it will be a victory won with minimum effort. This is the best way conceivable to take over Konan. Invading this country amidst the confusion caused by the empress' death would take the people by surprise, and they would not be able to put up much of a fight. What Kutou aims is to have as little destruction as possible. They intend to make use of Konan's resources,� and would wish to keep as much of it intact as they can."

No one dared to interrupt him as he laid the other country's plans plainly before them; his eyes closed as he read from his mental checklist. He knew that he had their undivided attention, and could feel their eyes boring into his back.

Katsu stroked his beard thoughtfully, "That makes sense…but the people of Konan know that Crown-Prince Boushin is the next in line to the throne. They would never accept Lord Shinjiku as emperor… there would be an uprising!"

Nicholas looked back over his shoulder, letting out a dry, sarcastic chuckle as he did so, "You think in such two dimensional terms…you should know that mishaps do happen during a war. No one would question it if the crown prince were to be killed in an unforeseen…accident." _The same way his father was, _he added silently, wisely leaving that part unsaid.

The mere thought of it nearly caused the advisor to recoil in horror; his hands tightening on the edge of his desk until the knuckles turned white. He had never considered the possibility…with Prince Boushin dead, the next in line for the throne would be…

Lord Shinjiku.

Katsu's distress went unheeded by the tall blonde, who seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. Nicholas' voice lowered almost imperceptibly as he said distractedly, "A good strategy tactically… although less than honourable. Fitting…for a country such as Kutou. Nothing has changed." 

After all that had happened, the part of him which was the shogun—always the consummate strategist and military leader—had not been able to resist making that last observation. It had not been meant to be heard by anyone…he had merely been thinking aloud. 

_How careless of me._

Breathing slowly and deeply, Nicholas slipped into the calm, detached state of mind which enabled him to analyse the situation from several different angles. He could not undo his words, but he could prevent himself from making another such mistake in the future. Knowing that, he swiftly made a decision.

This would be the last time he would offer any assistance in solving Konan's internal problems. 

He had already revealed too much. His knowledge of Kutou, his grasp of their military tactics…it would only be a matter of time before they guessed who he was. Unfortunately, his small slip could well have given away his true identity; inviting questions neither he nor the Suzaku no Miko were prepared to answer. If and when they found out who he was, Miaka would probably come under hostile scrutiny for her association with him.

More importantly however, helping them required him to delve into his past…and the emotional cost for him to continue doing so was far too great.

_No more, _he silently promised himself.

He did not particularly care if everybody accused him of being uncaring and selfish…he simply had no wish to torment himself any further. 

* * *

He inhaled the cool air as he listened to the symphony of sounds made by nocturnal creatures. _Not quite Andrew Lloyd Webber, but the real music of the night is quite impressive its own way,_ he mused, smirking slightly at the thought. The pavilion he was in had a perfect view of the palace lake and its surrounding gardens. By night, everything underwent a dramatic change; colours faded, shapes merged and blended into each other, until all that remained were stark outlines of light and shadow. 

How peaceful everything seemed, belying the problems brewing just below the surface.

He sensed the approach of another person even before he heard the telltale sound of footsteps.

Nicholas did not move from his position as the footfalls stopped directly behind him. He should have known that this meeting had been inevitable. Nevertheless, his mood rapidly deteriorated at the intrusion.

"It's amazing how different everything looks by day," the chief advisor's voice was polite and conversational, as if this had been no more than a coincidental meeting between strangers.

However, Nicholas knew that this was not the case. He had a nagging feeling that Katsu had deliberately approached him for a reason. The advisor definitely had something in mind, and Nicholas would bide his time until the other man chose to reveal what the real topic of this conversation was. He was nothing, if not patient… 

There was a faint rustle as the advisor moved to stand alongside him. For a while, neither of them spoke as they both studied the reflection of the full moon in the still, dark waters of the lake. The image almost appeared to be a perfect replica of the original, had it not been for the occasional ripple which marred the illusion. 

"I wanted to thank you for saving Empress Houki, and for your valuable input this morning," Katsu said abruptly, breaking the silence. "Now that we know the true nature of the threat, we can take steps to contain it." The older man turned his head to look at Nicholas, the expression in his eyes serious.

"This isn't why you're here," Nicholas stated dryly. 

The surprise which passed over Katsu's face did not escape notice, and the blonde man's lips twitched with something that could have been mild amusement. The advisor cleared his throat in embarrassment, "You are very perceptive and display extensive knowledge of a great many things… rare traits, in one so young." 

When Nicholas did not respond to the complement, Katsu decided on a more direct approach. Suspecting that the Suzaku no Miko's enigmatic friend would immediately detect pretense of any sort, he opted to speak openly and frankly of the matter which had been weighing on his mind. "A few years ago, before the Suzaku no Miko appeared, I visited Kutou as part of a diplomatic envoy. While there, I saw someone. Although I did not have a chance to talk to him, I was told that despite his age, he had already attained the highest possible rank in the military. However…" 

Katsu paused as he gave the man beside him a meaningful look before he continued slowly, "…the thing that struck me most about him was his height…and the extraordinary colour of his hair." 

"I can't say I know him," Nicholas said quietly, holding the advisor's gaze with an unwavering stare of his own, aware that he had been recognised. In the partial darkness, his irises took on the same ghostly moonlit silver as their surroundings. "Can you?" 

Realising that a great deal hinged on his answer to that one simple question, Katsu thought about it for a long moment, then turned his eyes to look back over the lake; focusing on the pinpoints of light from the stone lanterns which dotted the dark landscape. 

"No. I can't say that I do," he said finally.

Nicholas closed his eyes briefly, an instant longer than a blink; silently acknowledging the advisor's words and what it must have cost to utter them, after all of Kutou's attacks on Konan…after all the suffering Kutou's shogun had caused.

Katsu sighed and prepared to leave, taking a few steps in the direction from which he had originally come, before stopping and turning around to address Nicholas, "You must have had your reasons," his voice was gentle and undemanding, knowing that the young man standing behind him had no intention of sharing any of those reasons. 

He was beginning to feel uncomfortable for even bringing up the subject, sensing that it was something intensely private, but felt compelled to add softly, "The Suzaku no Miko, she trusts you… and I will too. Once again, I sincerely thank you for all that you have done for us." 

With that, he bowed respectfully and resumed his departure, leaving the blonde man to his solitude.

Nicholas listened to the sound of the chief advisor's footsteps fading into the distance until they were completely replaced by the sounds of the night…until he was alone once more. The moon had risen to its zenith, flooding the pavilion with its cold silver light. Looking up into the night sky, he identified the group of stars which had once spelt out his destiny. 

Once upon a time, Nakago had made it a point to observe those very same stars every night in order to constantly remind himself of who he was and his purpose for living. 

_I had my reasons…only they were all the wrong ones._

* * *

Notes:

1) The cat is out of the bag! Katsu has figured out who Nicholas is, but the advisor accepts that the former shogun of Kutou is a different person from before. After all, you can't blame people for what they did in their past life, can you? 


	8. The More They Remain The Same

**Chapter 8: …The More They Remain The Same**

The next morning greeted them with news that Hotohori's half-brother had been detained by palace guards in light of all the incriminating evidence. It had been a harrowing few days, but the veiled danger which had been threatening Konan from within had finally been put to an end, and Miaka gratefully breathed a sigh of relief. 

_Nakago has been the one who has done the most to help, _her heart warmed at the thought, and she found herself smiling for the first time in days. _He can be nice if he chooses to be…that is, when he's not being a jerk the other ninety percent of the time! _

Even now, she realised that she was no longer able to imagine a life without his presence…When had he become so important to her? 

_It's hard to believe that there was a time I hated him so much… that I wanted him dead. _She shuddered, ashamed of herself for ever thinking of such a thing…she had come so close to never finding out what a good friend he could be. 

Shaking her head, she sighed, turning her mind to their current situation. There was nothing more they could do at the palace, and it was time they figured out a way to return to their own reality. _Maybe Taiitsukun can send us back, like the time she sent me back! I suppose we need to go to Mt. Taikyoku to look for her. _Miaka remembered her previous trip to the mountain all too well. It saddened her, that this time, she would not be making the journey with Hotohori or Nuriko… two friends she had loved dearly. 

She blinked back the sudden tears, refusing to let herself get depressed. Perhaps they had already been reincarnated into the real world, and were waiting for her. She would look for them once she got back, and find them, just like she had found Nakago and Tamahome…

_And everyone would be together again…_

(We will all meet again…Beyond worlds, beyond time, beyond life…we will all surely meet again…) 

_I'll hold you to that, Hotohori…we'll see each other again soon, because you promised..._

* * *

He met Houki in the pavilion he had occupied the night before. She was accompanied by her personal maids and had obviously come out for some fresh air. From the looks of it, it was doing her good… the colour had come back to her face, and although she was still weak from the poison, the empress looked a great deal better compared to when he had last seen her. 

"Empress Houki," Nicholas inclined his head politely, seeing no way he could avoid her.

She smiled graciously at him, "You are the Suzaku no Miko's friend. They told me that you were the one who saved my life. Thank you," she said simply, "I am in your debt." 

He noticed that although she bore an uncanny similarity to the Suzaku shichi seishi Nuriko, her voice was soft and cultured as befitted an empress, whereas the violet haired cross-dresser's had been candid, and more often than not, loud.

_You would not be thanking me, if you knew who I really am…_He shrugged slightly, hiding his dark musings, "I did what I could. You owe me nothing." 

It was becoming increasingly awkward for him to continue talking to her, and he turned to leave. Halfway however, he stopped, as if something had suddenly occurred to him, "Your husband…was a brave man." The statement was abrupt, pitched so that it was just loud enough for her to hear.

It was the only thing he could honestly tell her. He could only hope that it would bring her some comfort.

Houki's eyes widened in surprise, "You…knew him?" she asked in a whisper, her voice trembling a little as she stared at him expectantly.

Nicholas had his back to her and she did not see the bitter smile which crossed his lips, "I met Saihitei once…briefly, a long time ago." He kept his voice carefully neutral so that she would not suspect anything out of the ordinary; purposely making his words sound as if they were nothing more than an afterthought. There were some things she did not need to find out. As far as she knew, the man who had killed her husband was dead. 

Without waiting for a reply or even bothering to glance back, he walked away from the pavilion, feeling her bewildered gaze following him with every step he took.

Rounding a corner, he came to a sudden stop. He sensed that something was wrong an instant before intense feelings of shock, horror and grief flooded through him; sending his mind reeling in surprise and causing him to tense defensively as though preparing against a physical attack. 

_What in Seiryuu's name…? _Rapidly sifting through the unfamiliar sensations, he quickly realised that the emotions weren't his own; firstly because he had absolutely no reason to be either grief-stricken or horrified, and secondly, because almost nothing was capable of shocking him in any significant way. Which meant only one thing…

He was picking up someone else's emotions…and he had a niggling suspicion he knew exactly whose they were…

And he wasn't happy about it in the least. In fact, he wasn't happy about it at all.

Blue eyes narrowing in irritation, his mouth tightened into a grim line as he broke into a run. _Damn! What could it possibly be THIS time?_

* * *

She had insisted on seeing Hotohori's half-brother before they left the palace. Standing outside the doors to the room Lord Shinjiku was being currently held in under heavy guard, Miaka felt an acute sense of trepidation. What kind of person was this man? Did he look anything like Hotohori? A million questions floated through her mind…there were so many things she wanted to say… 

Keisuke and Taka had tried to convince her not to visit the man, telling her that nothing good could come out of it…but she had insisted on going anyway. Despite their violent protests, she knew that they cared about her too much to allow her to face Lord Shinjiku alone…which was why they were here now, fidgeting nervously as they stood beside her. 

_I just want to talk to him…ask him why…_

Nodding to the guards, she slowly pushed open the door.

And froze.

Lord Shinjiku hung from one of the ceiling beams with a sheet taken from the bed looped around his throat. Swinging slightly, the limp body looked like a macabre puppet out of a gruesome horror movie. The corpse was suspended in the middle of the room, positioned such that its dead, sightless eyes seemed to stare balefully at anyone who had the misfortune of coming in through the door.

Keisuke stumbled backwards in horror at the ghastly scene. _Oh my god…_his mind kept repeating the phrase over and over again, having lost all capacity for coherent thought. 

Taka was in no better condition. He had gone as pale as the corpse hanging in front of him, paralysed where he stood. 

Miaka's hazel eyes were still fixed on the dead body, as though mesmerised by its slow sway to and fro above the floor.

The movement brought Keisuke back to his senses. Choking back a gag of revulsion as the bile from his stomach forced its way up his throat, he reached for her, trying to cover her eyes and prevent her from looking…desperately trying to protect her from the horrible reality of seeing someone who had committed suicide. However, part of him knew that it was already too late to reverse the damage. She had already seen all there was to see… 

Miaka started to shake violently.

And then, she began to scream.

* * *

He found them standing in the open doorway a second before Miaka let out an ear-splitting howl of anguish. In fact, not only did he hear it, but he _felt _it as well, the sound tearing across his soul like the lash of a whip. Somehow, all her emotions were being channelled to him, and everything she was feeling was affecting him as well.

Nicholas gritted his teeth, forcefully tuning out the pain which was not his, but hers. Taking in the scene inside the room with a single dispassionate glance, he noted that Lord Shinjiku had been dead for several hours at the least, judging from the appearance of the corpse. The man had preferred death to facing the consequences of being branded a traitor. 

_Not only dishonourable, but a coward as well…_he resisted the urge to shake his head in disgust._ How disappointing. _

His eyes flicked back to Miaka. The cause of her distress was clear…now he had to snap her out of it before it got any worse and she somehow managed to hurt herself.

What he was about to do was drastic, and he disliked having to resort to such measures, but he had no other choice…it was the fastest and most fail-proof method of drawing her attention away from what she had just witnessed. Unfortunately, it was going to hurt her more than it would hurt him… 

_Famous last words, _he thought wryly.

His movements showing no trace of hesitation, he lifted a hand and delivered a stinging slap across her face.

The sharp crack of his palm hitting her smooth skin echoed through the room, abruptly cutting her off mid-scream as her head was jerked to one side with the impact. Her hand flew up to touch her cheek in an automatic reflex as she stared at him, stunned into silence by what he had just done. The force of the blow had been calculated to be just hard enough to sting, and although it had not been hard enough to bruise, her delicate skin was already turning red.

"Get a hold of yourself," he hissed, even as he saw the look of hurt betrayal that her expressive features clearly conveyed. _Good. _It meant that she was coming back to her senses. Thankfully, the powerful emotions which had been assailing him had stopped along with her screams.

_Nakago…slapped…me…? Why…? _Miaka could feel bewildered tears starting to form involuntarily at the corners of her eyes, partly as a result of the pain, but mostly because she had no idea why he had hit her. 

Nicholas blinked at the sight of her tears, and instinctively extended his hand towards her face without thinking; intending to brush his fingertips across her injured cheek to soothe the pain he had so recently inflicted—

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?" Keisuke bellowed, lunging forward from behind his sister and grabbing the former shogun's wrist, thinking that the blonde man was going to hit her again. 

The blue of Nicholas' eyes completely iced over at the unwelcome contact. "She was becoming hysterical," he stated coldly. Directing a pointed look at Keisuke's hand which was still locked around his wrist, he did not have to wait long before the other man got the message and hurriedly released him.

"We should leave here," he said shortly, walking past the Suzaku no Miko and out into the corridor. 

"But…" Taka stammered, seeing that Miaka was in no condition to respond.

"Do you intend to stay and help them clean up the mess?" Nicholas asked sharply, the words harsh and clipped, as he rapidly lost whatever patience he had left. Being exposed to Miaka's emotions had left him feeling raw and drained…not to mention in an extremely bad mood. In fact, he could not recall the last time he had been� this close to losing his temper completely.

_Does he realise how dangerous he looks now? _Keisuke wondered, suddenly worried for Miaka's safety. The way Nicholas' entire body had gone rigid with forcefully repressed irritation reminded him of a caged tiger. _That can't be healthy. I don't think it's a good idea to be near him right now…_

Deciding that keeping his mouth shut would be less painful than losing a limb, Keisuke wisely chose not to contradict Nicholas. Instead, he focused his energies on getting both Miaka and himself away from the room. Putting his arm around her shoulders, he gently pulled her out into the hallway. 

Then, to Keisuke's surprise, it was Miaka who defused the tension. Placing a shaky hand on his arm to indicate that she was all right, she turned to Taka and sent the dark-haired man a look; silently begging him not to argue with Nicholas. 

She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself enough to speak. Her skin still burned where Nakago had hit her, but she had forgiven him the instant she'd realised why he had done it. 

The uncontrollable downward spiral towards madness…she had almost allowed her emotions to overwhelm her. Had he not arrived when he did, she would have ended up suffering a nervous breakdown. 

_He was protecting me…again. _

"H-He's right…there is nothing we can do here. We…we should go…" she whispered. _Away from here…I need to get away from this place…_

* * *

Notes:

1) Nicholas/Nakago almost loses his cool! He's not terribly happy to discover that Miaka's the one yanking on his chain. Grin He does not appreciate someone else screwing around with his emotions and being bombarded by everything the Suzaku no Miko feels has left him off-balance and slightly…unhinged.

2) There is a reason why he can sense her emotions. I have BIG plans for this…diabolical laughter All will be revealed in subsequent chapters. 


	9. Beyond The Looking Glass

**Chapter 9: Beyond The Looking Glass**

She looked back at the capital of Konan one last time before it disappeared from view. In a way, Miaka was relieved that they were leaving it behind. So many bad things had happened while they had been there…_No! I won't think about what happened!�__�_

She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting off the nausea which overtook her at the memory. The constant motion of being on a horse was not helping matters either. Fortunately, her brother, who was riding with her was there to steady her. Gratefully leaning back against his reassuring presence, she felt the queasiness slowly receding.

They were on their way to Mt. Taikyoku to look for Taiitsukun. At the moment, Miaka wanted nothing more than to go home, and hopefully put everything behind her. 

She straightened abruptly, resolving not to allow something like that get to her. She hated being depressed, and she could not stand the fact that everyone around her seemed to be unhappy as well. Taka and Keisuke were quiet and sombre. Nakago was being cold and unfriendly. _Nakago doesn't count. He's ALWAYS like that! What's with that stupid impassive mask anyway? Maybe I should tell him that if he's not careful, his face is gonna stick like that forever! _She snorted, feeling inexplicably better now that she was thinking unkind thoughts about her former worst enemy. 

Almost as though he had heard her mental complaint, he turned and favoured her with one of his disconcertingly expressionless blue stares. If she didn't know any better, she would have sworn that the man was psychic. She returned his look innocently, "What?"

He continued to study her in the most unnerving manner for a few more seconds, almost as if she was a particularly distasteful specimen he'd found crawling under the lens of a microscope…

"You seem happy, considering," he said finally, his tone as dry as ever.

"Happy!" At least he was talking to her again…he'd been anti-social to the extreme ever since that last incident back at the palace. _I wonder why? It's not as if he was the one who got smacked in the face! _"As happy as anyone can be after what you did to me! Did you really have to hit so hard?" she grumbled, glaring at him balefully.

He raised a blonde eyebrow at her petulant tone as the corners of his mouth lifted in the faintest of smirks. "Consider it payback," he told her smoothly, "For the two times you slapped me." 

His words were carefully chosen for maximum effect. They were almost guaranteed to get a rise out of her…while serving the dual purpose of getting her mind off the darker, unpleasant aspects of their stay in Konan. 

Besides, he always found it entertaining to watch her reactions…

Keisuke and Taka exchanged worried glances with each other.

_Payback? The insufferable jerk! Doesn't he ever forget anything! I really should have kicked him where it HURTS— _

"YOU DESERVED THEM!" Miaka yelled furiously, her depression forgotten for the time being. She gave Nakago a dirty look which would have made a lesser man fear the safety of certain important extremities…

"If you keep that up, your face will stick like that."

She spluttered with outrage, as he had predicted she would. Still, he could not help but wonder at the expression of sheer surprise which had passed through her eyes a heartbeat before it had been replaced by indignant anger. 

Satisfied that he had sufficiently distracted her, Nicholas wheeled his horse around and continued down the road; certain that she would be too preoccupied with plotting various (painful) ways and means to exact revenge on him to even think of what had happened at the palace…

* * *

It was almost dark when they stopped for the night. Leading the horses to a small spring off the main road, they decided to spend the night there. Located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, the spring was beautiful and secluded.

Taka watched Nicholas discreetly from his place beside the campfire. He had been trying to figure out what it was which he found so disturbing about Nicholas. The other man was a complex puzzle, and Taka realised that he was no closer finding the answer now than when they had first met. 

He found relationship Miaka shared with the blonde man to be even more unfathomable.

Between insulting her one moment and ignoring her the next, Nicholas continually baited her, seemingly for the sole aim of annoying her almost to the point of hate. In response, Miaka would usually end up glaring that her supposed arch-nemesis so fiercely that if looks could kill, Nicholas would have been instantly reduced to a sterilized pile of ash…

Oddly enough, beyond the insults and the angry glares, Taka could see the unconventional friendship that existed between the two of them…except, he wasn't even sure whether it _could be_ classified as friendship. It operated on a very strange frequency, and it certainly wasn't like anything he had ever encountered before.

There was one thing, however, which was very clear to him: Under all the arrogance; beneath the cool, calm exterior, Nicholas did care about her…enough to protect her time and time again. And Miaka, he knew, trusted the blonde man with her life_. And there's the way she always looks to him for guidance or approval…how she values his opinions above all else. _

It did not escape his notice either, that Miaka was the only one who addressed Nicholas as Nakago. It was almost…

It was almost _intimate._

Taka realised, with a start, that he was jealous.

Jealous that Nicholas had memories of time spent with Miaka…Jealous of the connection they shared which he would never be privy to. He was not entirely comfortable with the thought of her having such a deep emotional attachment to another man, even if it _was_ just friendship. 

Perhaps he would not have minded it as much if Nicholas wasn't so handsome. Being male and strictly heterosexual did not mean that Taka was blind to the other man's undeniable good looks. To top it all off, Nicholas appeared to excel at everything he did. _That's it, isn't it? Anything you can do, he can do better. He knows her better than you do…and he does a much better job of protecting her, even from herself. You're afraid that Miaka will choose him instead of you,� _his mind sneered unmercifully, dragging his most secret fear out into the open.

_Iie! I just…I just…_

He closed his eyes bitterly; his only consolation being the fact that the tall, impassive blonde displayed no interest beyond the platonic towards the one girl Taka had been dreaming of all his life.

* * *

Miaka came awake suddenly to a sharp jab in the ribs. Her eyes snapped open to see her brother crouched beside her, a finger to his lips indicating that she should remain quiet. The fire had gone out, but the moon provided enough light for her to make out the forms of Nakago and Taka standing tensed, as though they were expecting an attack.

_What's going on?_

Miaka started violently at the sound of flapping wings, unnaturally loud in the silence, as a bird was startled into flight by an unseen presence. 

She felt Keisuke tightening his hold on her, drawing her closer to him as dark shapes slowly materialised out of the shadows.

"Kuso…we're surrounded," she heard her brother mutter, fear and worry in his voice.

Then, as if acting on some signal, the shapes closed in on them, revealing themselves to be men dressed in black. Assassins. There were six of them, and even with her untrained eye, Miaka could see that they were all highly skilled. They were outnumbered, unarmed, and at a distinct disadvantage. 

Nicholas found himself faced with no less than three opponents. He dodged the first one's strike, the razor sharp metal claws attached to his adversary's gloves coming dangerously close to his face. Lithely side-stepping the man, he forcefully rammed an elbow into the unfortunate assassin's lower back. 

The assassin doubled over and crumpled to the ground, the pain from badly bruised kidneys ensuring that the man would not be getting up any time soon.

Silver-blue eyes narrowed in concentration as Nicholas immediately engaged in combat with the second assassin, even as his mind raced. _There's something not right about this..._He ducked under the swing of a sword, the sharp edge just barely missing his shoulder. By all rights, it _should_ have drawn blood at least…

_Why are they hesitating?_

He avoided another sword thrust.

There it was again…that fraction-of-a-second hesitation.

He noticed something else as well…these men were assassins, there was no doubt about that, but apparently, their intentions were not to kill. The one with the sword could have aimed for his throat, but didn't. Nicholas was no fool…he knew that the man was proficient enough with the weapon to have taken his head off with one sweep. _They've been ordered not to kill us_, he realised. However, the assassins did not seem to have a problem with maiming…

For the first time in his current life, he regretted not being able to summon any of the powers he'd had as Nakago. Things would have been a great deal easier and the battle would have been over by now. The longer the fighting dragged on, the more likely someone would get seriously injured…_And chances are that it would be Tamahome,_ he thought disdainfully, his peripheral vision registering that although the former Suzaku seishi knew how to fight, and was holding up admirably, his odds against the skilled assassins who had cornered him were slim to none. Sooner or later, one of them was sure to land a lucky shot.

Nicholas performed a sudden back flip which took him out of the sword's range momentarily, forcing the assassin to lunge at him again. He stood his ground, waiting until the last possible moment…

_Now._

He flung a handful of sand into the man's face, blinding his opponent. The real purpose of the stunt had been to disguise his actions; grabbing the sand off the ground had been easy when he had landed briefly on his hands before righting himself. 

The assassin stumbled back in surprise, fingers clawing at useless eyes. 

It was then that he heard the faint whistling sound of something heading towards him. His senses screamed a warning even as he obeyed his instincts and threw himself to one side. 

Not a moment too soon…on the ground where he had been a split-second ago was a dart. Small, perfectly weighted and of a very distinct design, its sleek lines more functional than artistic. Nicholas instantly recognised it…and its purpose. Mentally cursing himself for not paying more attention to the identity of the assassins, his gaze snapped up to the last of his opponents, standing partially hidden in the shadows. 

_First things first, _he told himself grimly. Aware that every second counted, he dropped into a crouch, smoothly plucking the dart out of the ground. In the same movement, he lunged at the assassin whom he'd blinded earlier; jamming the dart into the man's jugular vein. With a muffled howl, the man collapsed, clutching at his throat in a futile attempt to get the dart out. 

Picking up the sword, he faced his last adversary. He knew better than to underestimate this particular one as he stood motionless, waiting for his opponent to make the first move, his newly acquired weapon held at ready. The assassin was wise to position himself where he had…the deep shadows cast by the surrounding trees served to mask his movements from Nicholas. 

Just then, the moon sailed behind a bank of clouds, plunging everything into darkness. 

Nicholas tightened his grip on the sword. Generally, he was not in the habit of using swear words, but that did not mean that he didn't _think _them. At the moment, his mind was using a number of choice expletives to describe the situation. Turning slowly, he carefully scanned the darkened surroundings, staying alert for an attack from any direction. 

Abruptly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a faint telltale glimmer to his left. He automatically brought the sword up, slicing through the air in one swift motion, knocking the darts aside before any of them could hit him.

The next instant, however, he felt something wrapping around his arm. Thin and taut, biting sharply into his skin.

_What the—? _

The moon made its reappearance, once again bathing the landscape in its pale light.

Fine steel wire gleamed silver in the moonlight, circling his arm and severely limiting his movements… Apparently skilled in using more than just darts, the assassin was holding on to the other end; the wire wound firmly around his glove. The man pulled, causing the wire to tighten painfully; cutting deeply into flesh. Blood rapidly welled up to the surface...

The former Seiryuu seishi's expression hardened, suspecting that the next wire would probably go around his throat. It occurred to him to sever the wire using the sword, but there would be nothing to stop the assassin from trapping him again with another. _That would not do…_Nicholas had much better plans in mind for the other man. 

Ignoring the pain, he grabbed the wire, barely giving it a thought as it cut into his fingers…and yanked on it with all his strength, causing his opponent to stumble towards him at the unexpected force. Taking advantage of the fact that the assassin had been rendered temporarily off-balance, he launched himself forward…

* * *

"Damn you…" she hissed, charging at the man in front of her; throwing every ounce of stubborn will she had into her attack. Her eyes glittered with her determination to save her brother; the flecks in her hazel eyes flaring gold in anger.

A second later, Miaka flew backwards, landing painfully on her side as the assassin casually backhanded her as if she was no more than a minor annoyance. Behind him, Keisuke lay in an unconscious heap after a valiant attempt to shield her from their assailant, only earning a hard kick in the stomach before being slammed into a tree for his efforts.

White-hot pain exploded in her shoulder and radiated through the rest of her body, almost causing her to black out. Coloured spots danced at the edges of her vision and every nerve screamed in pain when she tried to move.

_NO! For Oniichan's sake…I won't lose!_

Gritting her teeth against the agony, she forced her bruised muscles to obey her commands.

Slowly and defiantly, Miaka climbed to her feet.

* * *

Nicholas saw the look of belated realisation and fear flash through the assassin's eyes right before he plunged the blade between the man's ribs. There was the juicy squelch of metal sliding into flesh as the enemy stood immobile in front of him. Then, as if in slow motion, the assassin toppled over backwards, impaled through the chest with a sword.

He easily shook off the now slack wire, paying little heed to the blood slowly dripping off his fingertips and smeared across his palms. He felt no joy in taking a life, but at the same time, he found it hard to feel any guilt or remorse over killing an assassin. 

_Him or me…I would always choose me. _

The heavy thud of a body hitting the ground with considerable force snapped his attention back to the battle still going on around him. 

He watched Miaka struggle back to her feet…noticed the way her shoulder hung at an odd angle… saw how her face had turned deathly pale, the skin stretched tight and pinched with pain. He could imagine the immense pain she must be in, but still, true to her nature, she was refusing to give up without a fight. _With a dislocated shoulder no less. She's going to get herself killed one of these days, the little idiot..._

Without warning, a wave a dizziness and fatigue enveloped him, almost causing him to lose his balance and stumble. What was wrong with him? He'd felt perfectly all right a moment ago…

The minor mystery was solved as quickly as it had appeared. _The wire_, his mind identified. _It must have been coated with some sort of sedative._ Even now, the cuts on his arm and fingers were starting to smart as the foreign substance seeped into his wounds. 

A curse sounded behind him, and he whipped around, just in time to see Taka getting jabbed in the neck with a dart. 

Suddenly, his vision blurred slightly and Nicholas blinked, trying to clear it. _Damn…_The sedative was working its way into his bloodstream, and he was starting to feel its effects. He was not in any condition to continue fighting…he would not stand a chance even if he tried. He had no wish to share the same dubious fate as Taka, and he had even less desire to put his life in the hands of _this_ particular group of assassins.

He saw the Taka stagger unsteadily.

He turned back to the Suzaku no Miko. They had to get out of here. _NOW._

Even before Taka slumped to the ground, Nicholas had closed the distance between himself and Miaka, grabbing her uninjured arm and forcefully dragging her away through the dark forest.

* * *

They were running through the darkness, and it was inevitable that she would stumble and fall as her foot hit a patch of uneven ground. Even so, he did not let go of her. Barely missing a beat, he roughly yanked her to her feet; mercilessly forcing her to keep up with his own pace, his hand never relinquishing the painfully tight grip he had around her arm.

They could hear the assassins close on their heels…It would only be a matter of time before they caught up. 

Suddenly, Nicholas veered sharply to the right, ducking behind the trunk of a large tree and pulling her with him. Under the unforeseen circumstances, neither of them noticed the rather embarrassing seating arrangements in their hastily found hiding-place. They were crouched on the ground in the dark; her back was pressed firmly against his chest and she was practically sitting on his lap…

The assassins passed them…

…and stopped abruptly. With a gesture from one of them, the group spread out to search for the two escaped targets.

Miaka was trembling with pain and exertion, completely oblivious to the highly compromised position she was in. Her ankle throbbed insistently, but that was nothing compared to the pain emanating from her shoulder…the entire left side of her body felt as if it was on fire. 

"We have to go back! We can't—" her frantic words were cut off when he clamped a hand over her mouth. She felt his grip on her tightening as he anticipated her next move.

Sure enough, she began to struggle weakly against his hold. Nicholas had known that she would never voluntarily leave her brother and Taka behind. His lips thinned in annoyance and more than a little exasperation. Not only was she aggravating her shoulder injury with her struggles, there was also the very real danger that someone might hear them.

As she continued to fight him, she tasted the coppery tang of blood on her tongue and vaguely wondered where it had come from. She was quite certain that it wasn't hers. However, before she had time to think about it any further, she felt a sharp pain at the back of her neck.

Then, her entire world went black, and she felt nothing at all.

* * *

Notes:

1) I noticed that poor Taka/Tamahome was being pushed into the background in every chapter, and that we don't get to see what goes on in his mind. Taka is constantly being overshadowed by Nicholas/Nakago, simply because Nicholas is more assertive and doesn't seem give a damn whether he offends anyone or not.

2) Nicholas is still manipulative, but now does it for very different reasons. He makes Miaka angry, so that she will have something to focus on other than the ghastly memory of the hanging corpse. As Taka accurately observes, "_…and he does a much better job of protecting her, even from herself_…"


	10. Waiting For The Dawn

**Chapter 10: Waiting For The Dawn**

You can always spot a moral victor…He's the one bleeding on the ground.

---_Anonymous_

Nicholas lowered her limp body to the ground, taking care not to jar her shoulder. He had to reset it as soon as possible, before any permanent damage occurred. 

Kneeling beside her, he removed her uniform jacket, gently probing her shoulder with his fingertips to ascertain the extent of the injury before gripping her arm and giving it a firm tug; almost wincing in sympathy when the joint slid back into its socket with a grinding pop. It was fortunate that she was unconscious…the pain would have been excruciating otherwise. The Suzaku no Miko had been lucky…no muscles or tendons had been torn when she had dislocated it, although her shoulder would probably be sore and bruised for a few days. 

His mouth curved mirthlessly as he grimly recalled what he had done to prevent her from going back to Keisuke and Taka. When it had become clear that she wasn't going to give in quietly, he'd hit her…

Again.

One swift, hard blow to the base of her skull with the edge of his hand. It would not harm her…just knock her out for a while.

He sighed inwardly. He hoped hitting her was not going to become a habit.

They were relatively safe for the time being, under a small rock outcropping which served to hide them from view. He had managed to get both of them away from the immediate area of danger while avoiding the men who were still hunting for them. 

However, now that the adrenaline in his body was slowly draining away, there was nothing to keep the sedative from the assassin's wire from completely flooding his system. Once again, the feeling of intense weariness overtook him, clouding his senses. His eyes felt dry and gritty, and his muscles ached.

Not seeing any need to stay awake, he did not attempt to fight the effects of the drug, and allowed himself to slip into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

It was already late morning when Miaka woke up. As she gingerly pushed herself upright, her shoulder protested vehemently at the movement, sending a bolt of pain lancing down her back and arm. Her head felt as if it had been run over by a truck…which had then reversed to finish the job. Squinting into the sunlight, she took in her new surroundings. 

_What happened? Where am I? _

She tried to remember everything which had happened the night before. The attack, Taka and her brother being beaten, Nakago dragging her away…hiding from the assassins…something colliding with the back of her head…and then, nothing.

Why had those men attacked them and taken away the two people most precious to her? She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back the tears which threatened to overflow. _Oniichan, Tamahome… Why do all these things have to happen? Just when I found him again…it's not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR! Why? _She did not know if she would survive losing Tamahome all over again.

Losing…she was losing everyone she cared about, one by one…

"Nakago?" she called uncertainly, looking around for any sign of blonde hair, praying desperately for a response.

No answer. 

Did something…happen to him?

Miaka felt panic rising, thick and stifling, making it hard for her to breathe. She realised how dependent on his help she had become, taking so much of it for granted… she felt completely and utterly lost without him. _Please, not him too…_

Onegai, Nakago…where are you?

a tiny voice in her mind whispered in a heartwrenching plea.

She slowly got to her feet, using the uneven rock wall behind her for support. However, when she attempted to walk, pain shot up her leg from her ankle. She managed to stumble a few steps before her leg gave way under her weight and she sunk to the ground, biting on her lip to keep from crying out in agony and frustration.

In all her life, she had never felt so truly alone…

Just as she was about to give herself up to her despair, feeling the last remnants of her strength disappear…It was then, that she suddenly felt someone beside her, seemingly having appeared out of nowhere…

Long fingers gently examined her ankle as she looked up, hazel eyes wide and startled, much like deer caught in the glare of headlights…only to meet a pair of cool blue eyes returning her stare. 

"You must have twisted it last night," his enigmatic gaze switched back to her injury, not bothering with the simple common courtesy of greeting her or even telling her where he had been. 

His presence and familiar deep voice brought a surge of uncontrollable relief. Without thinking; before she even realised what she was doing, she had flung herself at him, burying her face in his chest as the tears which she was powerless to stop came unbidden. 

Her hands fisted in his shirt, almost as if she had to reassure herself that he was really there…as if she was afraid that he would vanish again if she let go.

All at once, Nicholas felt…uncomfortable. She was clinging to him as though her life depended upon it. A small part of him wanted to comfort her; assure her that everything would be all right. It would be a lie, of course…empty words, but it would at least put a stop to the tears which had started trickling down her pale, delicate face.

Unfortunately, the logical side of him warned against it…and logic won out against emotional impulses every single time. _You need to disengage… NOW, _his mind ordered sharply. The soft sound of her sobs interfered with his thought processes, distracting him and thus making it difficult for him to concentrate on planning their next move. 

Furthermore, his nerves were starting to fray from the chaotic emotions he had started picking up from her the minute she had begun crying. The entire matter of his unexplained empathetic link with her mystified and annoyed him. Why him of all people? Nicholas hated being kept in the dark, particularly when things involved him. The sooner he had the answers, the sooner he could find a way to rid himself of the unwanted ability. 

"…I don't know what I would do if…if I lost Tamahome again…" Miaka was saying through her tears.

Nicholas closed his eyes briefly, letting himself to revert back into the persona which would allow him to push her away…the one which he knew she detested. Her anger would lend her strength, and if making her angry would help her overcome this setback, then he would present himself as her tormentor. _If that's what it takes…_His chiselled features hardened into the cold, bland expression he had often worn as Nakago. 

"Aren't you worried about someone else as well? Tamahome was not the only one they captured…I thought blood was supposed to be thicker than water."

Her sobs stopped abruptly as her mind registered his terse, cutting remark. She drew back from him, recoiling as if she had been burned.

The anger he had expected from her did not show itself at his not-so-gently administered verbal slap, nor was there any of the fire which signalled an impending outburst of temper. Instead of lashing out at him and accusing him of being callous and insensitive, she was trembling…not with rage, but as though she was making an immense effort to hold back her tears. 

The Suzaku no Miko looked pale and defeated…in pain…and he had just done the verbal equivalent of kicking her in the ribs. For an instant, he regretted his harsh words. Unfortunately, the damage had already been done, and he could not take them back, even if he had wanted to.

"Go-Gomen…You're right…of course. You're always right," she whispered almost bitterly, taking a deep shuddering breath before scrubbing the back of her hand across her eyes. Lifting her chin with all the dignity she could muster, her luminous eyes fixed his with a stare which seemed to dare him to look away.

His intention had been to push her away and still her tears. Those objectives had been achieved, and now the least he could do was to leave her with her pride.

He stood up and turned away, allowing her to claim this small victory.

Miaka glared at the back of his head silently, wanting so badly to hurt him for his cruel words…to make him hurt as much as she was hurting. 

Consumed with vengeful spite, it took her a while to notice, for the first time, the angry red welts and barely-closed cuts that criss-crossed over his left forearm. Her gaze quickly travelled downwards, where she caught a glimpse of the wounds on his hand and across his fingers. 

The memory of the night before flashed through her mind with vivid clarity. 

The blood she had tasted when he had put his hand over her mouth…the blood had been his. 

Oh my god…he had been—…he's injured!

The sound of his voice interrupted her thoughts, tearing her attention away from the thin red lines marring his skin.

"Someone wanted us captured alive. The assassins only used tranquillizer darts to knock Tamahome out. If they had really wanted to kill us…we would be dead already," he said flatly, his manner abrupt and blunt. It was not something said to give her hope…it was merely a statement of fact. No more, no less.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked slowly, her anger at him rapidly disintegrating as she considered this new piece of information. 

He half-turned to face her, and did something which caused her to shiver involuntarily, feeling as if a coil of ice had somehow wrapped around her soul… 

He smiled. 

Cold, chillingly ironic, and without a trace of humour.

"Those assassins were from Kutou…Who do you think trained them?"

* * *

Notes:

1) Poor Miaka. What she needs most at this point in time is someone who will comfort her...unfortunately, she's stuck with a guy who has got all the warmth of an ice-cube.

2) Nakago's past comes back to haunt him. This is the reason why the assassins were hesitating when they attacked him in the last chapter. Teacher-student bonds are not easily broken...


	11. What Are Friends For?

**Chapter 11: What Are Friends For?**

She stared at him in shock, unable to think of anything to say. Was he saying that he had known who those men were? That he had been the person who had taught those men how to kill?

Evidently, he was.

He suddenly paused, frowning slightly as though he had just remembered something important. Miaka began to feel exceedingly nervous and fought the instinct to shrink back when he eyed her speculatively with an unreadable expression on his face. He was about to do something, she knew, and she was sure she was not going to like it.

Abruptly, he stalked over to her…

…and the next thing she knew, he had scooped her up. She let out a squeak of alarmed surprise when she found herself being lifted bodily off the ground, cradled in his arms.

_WHAT IS HE DOING?_

_He's carrying you because you can't walk, baka! What else does it look like? _an irritatingly rational voice in her mind retorted. Her sprained ankle prevented her from walking on her own, and they could not afford to stay where they were much longer… In typical fashion, Nakago had not bothered consulting her before going ahead with his plans. Not that she would have agreed to this particular course of action anyway! Undoubtedly, he had solved the problem in the most practical way, but still…

Miaka felt herself blushing a deep shade of red. They were so close together…so much so that she could see the pulse beating steadily at his throat and feel the warmth of his body through the thin material of his shirt. Her own heart pounded in her ears, so loudly that she was convinced that he could hear it…

"PUT ME DOWN! YOU…YOU HENTAI!" she hissed, her voice rising several octaves in panic. She expected him to comply with her demand and drop her unceremoniously on the ground like he had done before. Hitting the hard dirt would hurt, but it would be better than…than…_THIS_.

To her complete dismay, the one time she was counting on him to act like the insensitive jerk which she knew he usually was…he chose to disappoint her.

"No."

"What do you mean 'No'? Put me down this instant!" She tried to pry herself out of his grasp. She had no intention of letting him carry her like that…did not want him treating her as if she was an invalid incapable of doing something as simple as walking. _I have to prove to him…! _More than the embarrassment and unease she felt, her pride refused to ever let him think of her as being weak and helpless. 

"It's a simple word, dear Miko," he drawled, his manner both patronising and infuriatingly calm, "Which part of it don't you understand?" 

* * *

She had been glowering at him for the past half hour, and he was vaguely intrigued by how anyone could maintain the intensity of such a fierce glare for so long. Wouldn't one's eyes start to hurt? He idly wondered how long she could keep it up before she ruptured a blood vessel…

At least she had stopped trying to hit him. She'd pounded her fists half-heartedly against his chest a few times in an attempt to make him release her, but even then, her own compassionate nature had hindered her efforts. Nicholas knew that she could have hit harder if she had really wanted to, but it seemed that_ she _was consciously trying to avoid hurting _him_ at the same time…The corners of his mouth twitched slightly in amusement at the petite study of contradictions in his arms and how distinctly unhappy she looked at the entire prospect of being carried.

A large part of her unhappiness, he suspected, stemmed from the fact that it was He who was doing the carrying. He doubted that she would have protested very much if it had been Taka holding her instead…Given a choice, Nicholas would gladly have handed her over to her precious Tamahome—had the former Suzaku seishi been around—at the first opportunity. He didn't enjoy toting her around any more than she liked being carried by him. Furthermore, his arm was starting to hurt like the devil.

Thankfully, the Suzaku no Miko had settled for giving him the silent treatment once she had realised that nothing she did was going to convince him to set her down. He did not mind her icy silence at all…carrying her was a task far more easily accomplished when she was lying quietly instead of struggling against him and snarling death threats. He had to admit though, some of those threats had been _very _creative…

All things considered, they were making pretty good time. His unwilling charge was surprisingly light, despite the amount of food she consumed. By any reasonable calculation, she should have weighed more, _a lot_ more…

Bottomless pit, 

he mused as he unconsciously shifted her to lean more against him in order to relieve some of the pressure being put on his injured arm.

"Does it hurt very much?" she suddenly asked softly, concern replacing the anger in her eyes. 

"It doesn't matter," he told her stiffly, signalling that he was not in the mood to discuss his well-being. He could see where the conversation was heading, and had no wish to say anything more about himself. She did not need worry about him on top of everything else.

Unfortunately, Miaka had never been particularly good at taking hints.

Her lips pursed together in annoyance. She had _seen _how severe those cuts had been, and although she was no doctor, she knew that the injury was in danger of reopening and bleeding again at the slightest provocation if he wasn't careful. 

"But your arm—" she protested, resisting the urge to grab him by the lapels of his expensive designer shirt and shake some sense into him.

"I'm fine," he cut her off impassively, staring straight ahead; pointedly refusing to look at her.

Damned man! Why does he always have to be like this? Refusing to let himself be treated, pretending that he isn't in pain! Nakago no baka! 

she fumed. Despite the expressionless façade he kept firmly in place, she had noticed the telltale flash of pain which flickered through his clear blue eyes every so often. She had seen him seriously hurt once before, when they had been fighting Tenkou…and it was something she never wanted to witness again.

Can't let him continue carrying me like this! He needs to get some rest…I'm not going to let the jerk hurt himself because of me! 

Miaka thought resolutely, gritting her teeth. Closing her eyes, she started focusing all the determination and willpower she possessed, pushing the ever-present worry over Keisuke and Taka aside for the time being. The concern she felt, here and now, centred on a certain domineering, unspeakably stubborn blonde man…

The air around her seemed to ripple slightly as the faint red glow of Suzaku's power surrounded her slender body. If she could erect a chi barrier around herself, maybe she could force him to put her down. It wasn't the most refined of plans, but it was the best she could come up with at the moment.

She opened her eyes in triumph as a psychic barrier shimmered into existence around her…

…and passed through him! Or more precisely, _HE_ passed right through _IT_. Miaka's mouth dropped open in stunned amazement. _NANI?_ _What the—…Nothing happened! _The protective sphere of energy she had managed to summon should have separated them, and he shouldn't have been able to touch her…

Nicholas stopped on his tracks, showing no indication of being affected by the presence of the barrier. One arm remained wrapped securely around her back and the other was still hooked behind her knees. Although his composure remained fully intact with no outward emotion showing on his face, her use of chi had greatly surprised him, and he had not expected her to go to such lengths…The Suzaku no Miko was annoyingly persistent, even after he had made it abundantly clear that he was not about to let her walk on that twisted ankle of hers. 

Although I would definitely have to give her points for trying…

He stared at the glowing chi-field with an air of clinical detachment before looking down at her with the sort of cool scrutiny that made her feel like she was about three inches tall. 

"This is an interesting turn of events," he commented wryly. 

The barrier faded away as she sighed, sagging against him in defeat. Expanding all that energy just to create the barrier was tiring, and being carried around like a princess was not altogether unpleasant_… Just this once_, she reluctantly admitted to herself. _It feels…nice. So warm and comfortable…_a tiny treacherous voice at the back of her mind whispered.

"I hate you," she mumbled, not even bothering to take the effort to glare at him. 

His eyes were focused on the path ahead of them, and he did not dignify her words with a reply. The only reaction from him was a faint mocking smirk which ghosted over his lips. 

* * *

How long had he been carrying her? _Two hours? Three? He's got to be exhausted! _She could feel his muscles trembling from the exertion. From her position, she could easily see the tense set of his jaw and the light sheen of sweat coating his face and throat. 

She was truly worried for him now…and disgusted at her own powerlessness to do anything about it. 

"Put me down," she tried again, keeping her voice quiet but forceful. It wasn't a request, but a command from Suzaku's chosen priestess.

He did not even blink, nor did he give any sign that he had heard her. She glared up at him, contemplating whether it would be too childish to bite him despite her resolve not cause him further injury. No doubt he was going to ignore her again unless she did something drastic. 

Maybe if I just reached up and kissed him on the lips…that would definitely get his attention! 

a part of her mind suggested naughtily. _What THE HECK am I thinking? Ugh! Shut up! SHUT UP! _shementally yelled at herself, horrified at the highly inappropriate thoughts that her imagination was happily conjuring…

…when without warning, another voice rung out behind them. "All right, you #$& hentai bastard, the lady wishes to be put down. I think you'd best listen to her!" Irreverent and brazenly flippant, it was clear that whatever faults the owner had, a lack of confidence was not one of them.

Miaka gasped in surprise, shocked recognition making her large eyes even wider. _I KNOW that voice! _However, before she could utter a single word, she felt Nakago's arms tightening around her as he abruptly side-stepped some unseen danger. The sudden fast movement caused her head to spin and her stomach to give a nervous, sickening lurch. 

An instant later, a wave of heat engulfed them both as a gout of flame raced past her nose; in fact, it was so close that her eyebrows only narrowly missed getting singed off.

Nicholas bit back an irritated sigh as he slowly straightened, valiantly trying not to give in to the sudden violent urge to hit something…or in this case, someone. The clueless idiot behind him obviously thought that he was some heinous criminal trying to abuse a defenseless girl. If the cuts on his arm weren't throbbing so painfully under the strain of carrying the Suzaku no Miko, he might found the absurdity of the entire situation amusing. Unfortunately, at the moment, his emotional and physical resources were already stretched too thin to allow humour of any sort… 

When he spoke, his voice was dangerously calm, but extreme annoyance had added a razor-sharp edge to his tone. "Congratulations, Tasuki," he said coldly without turning around to face the person who had so rudely accosted them. "You almost succeeded in barbecuing your own Miko."

* * *

Notes:

1) Miaka is too busy freaking out to see how thoughtful Nakago's actions really are. But then again, it's Nakago we're talking about here…he's the only person who can do something so incredibly nice and still piss her off at the same time… 

2) There is absolutely nothing wrong with Miaka's psychic barrier. It will work on anything EXCEPT Nakago/Nicholas. There is a reason for this, and will be revealed in later chapters! 


	12. Chance Encounters

**Chapter 12: Chance Encounters**

_My own Miko?_ Tasuki blinked in astonishment, not sure he had heard correctly. _What the hell—? Wait a second…tall, blonde hair…NAKAGO! _

"Tasuki!" a familiar voice screeched happily from the blonde man's arms. The bandit's amber eyes widened in pleased surprise. He would recognise THAT voice anywhere—

"Miaka!" he yelled, scrambling around Nicholas in order to get a better look at her. He shot her a fanged grin; genuinely glad to see her again. It had been eight years since he had last seen her, and he had often thought of her, wondering how she was…

"Ano…Miaka…Why is HE carrying you?" he asked uncertainly, glaring at the person who had once been his most hated enemy. Old feelings of mistrust resurfaced with a vengeance. In spite of everything the former Seiryuu seishi had previously done to aid Miaka in their fight against Tenkou, Tasuki still did not trust the blonde man any more than he trusted a starving wolf. "What happened? Did he hurt you?" he demanded, the tone of his voice hinting that he would be more than happy to fry anyone who dared to lay a finger on her.

Miaka shook her head quickly, seeing the bloodthirsty look in her seishi's eyes. "Iie! I just twisted my ankle! It wasn't Nakago's fault!" 

"Hhn," the bandit did not look convinced, but as much as he wanted to beat Nakago into a pulp, he could not do it while the man was holding Miaka. For the moment, he made do with sending a threatening glare at blonde man over the top of Miaka's head. 

Silver-blue eyes narrowed in response, and the flame-haired Suzaku seishi was rewarded with an arctic stare of barely concealed contempt. 

Although not a single word had passed between the two men, not even Miaka was blind or naïve enough to miss the underlying currents of hostility. Outwardly, Nakago looked as taciturn as was humanly possible, but below the surface…she could feel the acute irritation thrumming through his body. However, as always, he kept his emotions tightly in check, even though Miaka had the sneaking suspicion that his icy control was dangerously close to snapping. 

She convinced herself that however tempting it was to see her one-time arch-nemesis and sometime friend lose his temper for a change, it would not in anyone's best interest…least of all hers. If the fireworks did in fact go off, chances were that she would be the one who would get scorched. As much as she hated to admit it, he frightened her when he got as angry as she knew he was at the moment.

"Tasuki…" her tone held a note of warning. She fixed her eyes on her seishi, silently willing him not to test the limits of Nakago's patience. 

Tasuki caught the look Miaka was giving him. She frowned and shook her head almost imperceptibly. The message was clear: _Whatever it is…DON'T._

Reluctantly, he sheathed his tessen, indicating a temporary truce. He saw Nakago relax slightly; the pale colour of the blonde man's eyes darkening into a clear sky blue as they took on an expression that was unmistakably mocking and arrogant at the same time. 

Tasuki did not realise that he was gritting his teeth until his jaw muscles began to ache. _The smug bastard's getting off on the fact that Miaka's on his side! I'm her seishi but she's defending HIM! KUSO! _It took a considerable effort on his part to unclench his fists as well as force a smile for Miaka's benefit.

Miaka's gaze turned sharply to stare up at her blonde companion when she felt an abrupt shift in his attitude. The speed at which the change occurred was alarming…almost as if the anger which had been threatening to boil over had been suddenly and forcibly cut off; the tension in his body disappearing as if it had never existed. 

Nicholas directed a thin, sardonic smile at Tasuki…nothing more than a minuscule curving of the lips, but still intimidating nonetheless. The expression was neither friendly nor trustworthy; specifically designed to unnerve anyone who happened to be on the receiving end. 

"You are Suzaku no shichi seishi, are you not? It's about time you made yourself useful." 

* * *

Miaka let Tasuki carry her without much complaint, pretending to be relieved. Deep down—if she was completely honest with herself—she felt inexplicably hurt by Nakago's apparent haste to hand her over to Tasuki…almost as if he had been anxious to get rid of her. Did he really consider her to be such a great burden? 

He's probably tired of having to save a clumsy ditz like me all the time, 

she thought sadly, careful not to let any of her thoughts reflect on her face. Despite the tough-guy image the flame-haired bandit projected, Tasuki could be very perceptive and sensitive to the emotions of others. She knew that Tasuki would happily try to beat up Nakago if given the slightest excuse to do so. If it did come down to the two men exchanging blows, one of them would end up either dead or seriously wounded…

Miaka hoped that the hostilities did not escalate to the point that she would actually have to find out who.

"Miaka…what's with Blondie anyway? He IS still Nakago…I mean, even though he's now a person in your world, he's still a asshole…right?" Tasuki whispered conspiratorially to her, putting an end to her depressing train of thought. Along the way, she had recounted to him everything that had happened, starting from their arrival in Konan to the fateful attack by the assassins, and Tasuki had been first shocked, then enraged to learn that Tamahome and her brother had been kidnapped by Kutou. 

It had taken a while for the stream of extremely colourful language to die down, but now that Tasuki had calmed somewhat, his attention had moved to the silent blonde man with them. Seeing Miaka cradled in Nakago's arms, as close together as lovers, had been like a scene out of a bad dream brought on by drinking too much watered-down sake. _Miaka? With that monster! Nah, not a dream… more like a nightmare! _he thought darkly. The mere thought of them together like…THAT… was almost too much for him to handle, and he felt slightly ill just thinking about it. 

It was little wonder that he had been immensely relieved when Miaka had confided in him about how worried she was about Tamahome—now apparently called Taka—and the tears which had silently slid down her face had instantly convinced him that she still loved 'Obake-chan'. _So the only reason why Nakago was carrying her was because of her wrenched ankle. Thank Suzaku, _Tasuki was not usually the type of man to pray, but he had breathed a wordless prayer of thanks to the heavens all the same. 

Miaka looked up at Tasuki's question. Comforted by his warm, cheerful presence and the unspoken sympathy in his amber eyes, her tears had dried. It was always nice to have a shoulder to cry on. In addition, Tasuki had immediately insisted that they go to Kutou, promising her that he was willing to do whatever it took to rescue Tamahome and Keisuke…even if it meant burning down the imperial palace in the process. She felt her confidence growing, the fierce worry and grief easing a little. With Tasuki's help, surely…_I'll surely get Tamahome and Oniichan back safely! _

"He's still Nakago…" she agreed, lowering her voice to avoid being overheard; scowling as her gaze flicked to the blonde figure walking some distance ahead of them, "…And still a jerk most of the time!" she muttered hotly under her breath. Try as she might not to take his rejection personally, Nakago's harsh criticism when she had turned to him for comfort earlier still stung. 

The bandit grinned evilly, a slightly maniacal gleam entering his eyes, "I was hoping you would say that…"

* * *

They stopped several hours later to allow Tasuki to rest, since Nicholas gave no indication of ever wanting to volunteer to carry Miaka again. Not that the bandit would have allowed it anyway. There was absolutely no way Tasuki was going to let his Miko be touched by the man who had once tried to kill them. 

Seeing that Tasuki had decided to take a nap and Nakago was nowhere in sight, Miaka gingerly tried putting her weight on her twisted ankle. It hurt when she put pressure on it, but not as badly as it had in the morning. She would be able to walk normally on it soon, but not just yet. She sighed, managing to limp to the nearby stream before carefully sitting down again and taking off her shoe to massage the sore joint. Her shoulder still ached whenever she moved, and she winced at the sharp twinges of pain. Gritting her teeth, she bravely stretched several times, feeling the pull of the bruised muscles. _Itaaaaaaiiii…._

A sense that they were no longer alone had her looking up, only to find that Nakago had suddenly reappeared at the far edge if the clearing. Miaka squinted in disbelief. Was she imagining things, or was he holding something by the neck? 

She blinked as he approached. _Oh my god…_

He was indeed holding what looked like a large bird…and by the looks of it, the poor creature was still alive…

He came to a stop beside her. She stared at the pheasant and it stared back at her with glassy, terrified eyes. It had long, sweeping tail feathers and sported a pretty pattern of chocolate brown markings on its breast. Its back and wings were a glossy golden brown which seemed to subtly shift tones in the sunlight.

All at once, it occurred to Miaka what Nakago meant to do with it. She swallowed nervously, her throat suddenly dry, "You're…not going to kill it, are you?"

He regarded her impassively, "Would you prefer to eat it while it's still alive and twitching?" 

And as if on cue, her stomach growled, causing her to flush brightly in embarrassment. She was mortified… why did she always have to get hungry at the most inopportune times? Here they were, discussing a matter of life and death (at least for the pheasant in question), and her stupid appetite had to—

"But…but it's so beautiful…" she argued weakly. 

Nicholas was torn between the urge to either laugh or sigh in exasperation. In a way, it was rather endearing, but sometimes the Suzaku no Miko was just too compassionate for her own good. Too squeamish to kill, he was almost certain that she would starve to death if left alone in the wilderness. Of course, there was always the remote possibility that the pheasant he'd caught bore a vague resemblance to…a phoenix? _Guilt over eating something which looks like Suzaku? _The thought was becoming more hilarious by the second, and it was getting more difficult to keep a straight face, but the opportunity to bait her was too good to pass up. 

He lifted an eyebrow in amusement, "I take it then," he looked her in the eye, "That it would be perfectly all right to kill it if it were ugly?" 

* * *

Miaka was grateful that Nakago had not killed the bird in front of her. He had actually been considerate enough to do it while her back had been turned. She had heard a sudden, muffled snap and cringed, not daring to look behind her. Her only consolation was that he'd wrung its neck in one quick movement, and the poor pheasant probably had not suffered…well, not much anyway. 

Still…she tried not to enjoy eating it _too_ much. Roasted over a fire, the meat tasted good, and she'd been more hungry than she had realised. It did not help matters, that Nakago had watched her with that distinct, mocking gleam in his blue eyes which indicated that he was undoubtedly laughing privately at her. 

Damn the man. She hated it when she was forced to admit that he was right…and she hated it even more when he derived amusement from a situation at her expense. It made her want to wrap her hands around his throat and squeeze until those handsome, annoyingly perfect features of his turned blue…

She turned her attention to Tasuki, who had promptly awakened at the smell of food. She was glad that Tasuki had not tried to further antagonise Nakago. On his part, the former shogun largely ignored Tasuki, although she could still see the obvious contempt he had for the bandit. He had at least been almost civil to Taka, and she had always thought that out of all the Suzaku shichi seishi, Tamahome was the one whom Nakago had the most disdain for. _So why does he dislike Tasuki so much? _Miaka wondered, puzzled.

She was interrupted mid-thought when a group of men came crashing into the clearing waving their swords threateningly. Tasuki spat out a curse and leapt to his feet, drawing his tessen with an exaggerated flourish. 

Tasuki grinned widely. It looked like he was going to get to beat some people up after all…

* * *

Nicholas watched with detached interest as the Suzaku seishi gleefully sent a massive wave of flame towards the first batch of attackers. The men in the front lines panicked and backpedalled, trying to get away from the fire, but only succeeding in crashing into their comrades who where behind them. Apparently, they had not laid out any contingency plans in the event that their supposed 'victims' proved to be more powerful than they were.

Amateurs, 

he decided

Disorganised and discouraged, they began to retreat, everyone scrambling haphazardly to get away, pushing aside and trampling over their own brethren to do so. 

In less time than it had taken for Miaka to finish her meal, the threat had vanished. Tasuki looked disappointed and sighed regretfully. The battle had ended almost as soon as it had begun…he had hoped that the attackers could have posed more of a challenge. Several of the men who had been unfortunate enough to get caught in his flames were lying on the ground, moaning in pain from an interesting variety of burns…

All except one, who was out cold. And the man was not even suffering from burns of any kind. In his haste to get away, the hapless individual had run in the wrong direction, and had the even greater misfortune of running straight into Nakago's fist.

He stared in wary fascination as the blonde man relieved the unconscious man of his sword and scabbard, easily resheathing the weapon before calmly stepping over the limp body without giving it another glance.

Tasuki whirled around when he heard the snapping of a dry twig and lifted his tessen to teach whatever new danger which was approaching a good lesson. His eyes widened when another group of men emerged from the trees at the edge of the small clearing, wielding an assortment of sharp and potentially deadly weapons. 

Incredibly, Tasuki suddenly started grinning and waving to them. 

"Oi, Kouji! You guys missed all the fun!"

* * *

Notes:

1) And it so begins. Tasuki's first instinct as a Suzaku seishi is the protect his miko, and he doesn't trust Nakago, even though deep down he knows that Nakago is no longer trying to hurt Miaka. Old suspicions die hard. Tasuki is older now, but he's still the same guy Miaka knew.

2) Hehhehheh...that little scene with the pheasant was for a little comic relief, and hey, they've got to eat sooner or later. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


	13. First Truths

**Chapter 13: First Truths**

"…and so these bandits have been terrorising the nearby villages, and giving us Mt. Reikaku bandits a bad name," Kouji explained.

"Tasuki scared them away," Miaka piped up helpfully while at the same time keeping an eye on the blonde man leaning against a tree at the far side of the clearing, seemingly indifferent to everyone else. It had taken several seconds for Kouji and his men to recognise Nakago, but when they had…they'd almost attacked him. Luckily, she had managed to stop them before anyone got hurt. The bandits were still edgy about the presence of the former Seiryuu seishi and most of them were casting nervous, hate-filled glances in his direction from time to time.

Kouji sighed, looking at his friend reproachfully, "I wish you hadn't done that, Genrou…we spent weeks trying to track them down!" 

Tasuki, otherwise known as Genrou, slapped his fellow bandit on the back, "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll turn up again somewhere! I'll make sure I get all of them next time, ne?" He laughed as Kouji rolled his eyes good-naturedly at Miaka, making her smile. 

The dark-haired bandit turned to Miaka and bowed slightly, "We of the Mt. Reikaku bandits will escort you to the next town, Suzaku no Miko…" He smiled lopsidedly, making his face look boyishly handsome despite the long scar running down his left cheek. "…If for no reason other then to keep you safe from Genrou's clutches!"

The men burst out laughing, some even going so far as to whistle lasciviously while Tasuki turned the same colour as his hair. 

"BAKA! I DON'T EVEN _LIKE_ WOMEN!" 

* * *

The group moved on towards the border Konan shared with Kutou at a slow, steady pace. Miaka had insisted on walking herself and refused to be carried by anyone, and they stopped every so often to allow her to rest. They were still about a day away from the nearest town when Tasuki declared that they make camp in preparation for the coming nightfall. 

In truth, seeing Miaka limping was as painful for him to watch as it had to be for her. Tasuki could see how thankful she seemed to be that they were finally stopping. Unknown to him, a fond smile tugged at his lips as he observed how the other bandits were doing everything they could to make her comfortable; bringing fresh water from a nearby river for her to drink and offering tips on how to rub her ankle to relieve the pain.

Standing apart from everyone else, Nicholas ignored the suspicious stares he received as he inspected the sword he had acquired earlier. Drawing it out of its sheath, he familiarised himself with the feel of the weapon; testing it for weight and balance in his hands. He checked the blade, running his thumb lightly along the sharp edge, watching stoically as a fine line of blood welled up from the skin.

"Are you sure you remember how to hold that?" a voice sneered derisively from a few metres to his left.

His grip on the hilt of the sword tightened reflexively. He did not have to look to know who had spoken. The Suzaku seishi seemed to enjoy going out of his way to annoy him. He knew that the other man was looking for an excuse to start a fight. With this knowledge in mind, Nicholas was all the more determined not to allow himself to be pushed into such a situation. He would make sure that any fighting with the bandit took place on his own terms, not Tasuki's.

"Livin' in Miaka's world an' all…ya must really be out of practice," the flame-haired seishi continued blithely, making the statement sound like an insult. Tasuki leaned back casually against a tree, chewing on a blade of grass, wanting to see how far he could push Nakago now that Miaka was safely out of harm's way and no longer acting as mediator. 

Kutou's former shogun slowly turned to face him, and Tasuki found himself pinned with a cold, hard stare which was utterly devoid of emotion. There was no anger, no hate, just…nothing. He forced himself not to squirm under Nakago's flat blue gaze, resisting the urge to look away or even blink. There was something very eerie in the way his arch enemy was standing perfectly motionless, almost as though time had slowed, and he was waiting for something to happen.

The next thing he knew, the sword was headed straight towards him. Nakago had moved so quickly and unexpectedly that Tasuki had not even seen him bringing the weapon up and throwing it.

The was nothing he could do; no time to dodge, not even with his seishi abilities. He stood frozen as his life literally flashed before his eyes. Scenes of his time with the Mt. Reikaku bandits; being with the other Suzaku star warriors; Nuriko, Tamahome, Chichiri…Miaka…_Shit, I'm really going to die this ti—_

The tip of the sword embedded itself with a solid 'thunk' in the tree trunk beside his head, less than two inches from his ear. Slowly, almost mechanically, as if any sudden movement would cause his head to explode, he turned to stare at the still-quivering length of steel…

Pinned to the wood by the blade was the biggest black widow spider he had ever seen; its distinctive black-and-red markings clearly visible. Its many legs were still twitching, as though trying to prove a point. What the point was, Tasuki couldn't be sure, because his mind had stopped functioning altogether. The only thing he was completely aware of, the only thing he could hear, was the pounding of his own heart.

After what seemed to Tasuki like an eternity, the silence was broken by the sound of Kouji's voice close by. He had not noticed his friend's presence. When had he arrived? Had Kouji been standing there all this while?

"You have excellent aim," Kouji's quiet statement was addressed to Nakago. It was obvious that the dark-haired bandit had seen everything which had transpired. Tasuki numbly wondered how Kouji could be so composed after witnessing what the erstwhile Seiryuu seishi had done. 

The corners of the blonde man's mouth lifted in a thin, frosty smile. His voice calm and as smooth as glass when he replied to the bandit's comment; the even tone carrying just the faintest hint of malicious amusement.

"Not really," Nicholas walked past them, not bothering to give the badly shaken Suzaku seishi a second glance, "I was aiming for his head."

* * *

Tasuki was still frozen in the same position he had been in; pale as a sheet and shaken to the core, he did not even protest when Kouji waved a hand in his face and peered closely at him.

"I'd say he remembers perfectly," Kouji said dryly, eyeing the dead spider still pinned to the tree with passing interest. He looked thoughtful, as if an idea had suddenly occurred to him, and rubbed the scar on his cheek. It was something he did out of habit.

Tasuki blinked, like he was waking from a trance; his mind reminding him that he had to breathe, finally registering that someone was talking to him. "Huh?" His voice sounded weak, brittle…even to his own ears.

"How to hold a sword. That's what you asked him, right? He did answer your question, you know… Only not in so many words." 

The other bandit sounded almost cheerful. If he didn't know any better, he'd swear that Kouji was trying his best not to laugh. Tasuki wanted to slug him in the jaw for appearing so unconcerned and for trying to be a smart-ass. In his opinion, his friend was taking the entire matter of Nakago coming within an inch (okay, actually two inches) of killing him far too lightly. Now, if only he could work up the strength clench his fist and stop his hands from trembling long enough to hit Kouji…

* * *

_"Have you ever experienced a perfect moment in time? When time seemed to stop, and you could almost live in that moment…an entire universe, in one single moment."_

—Star Trek: Insurrection 

She found him by the river, stripped to the waist and kneeling at the water's edge. The late afternoon sun filtered through the branches overhead, bathing the scene in liquid gold light. She watched silently as he sluiced his face and upper body with water, her eyes unconsciously roaming over his broad shoulders and sculpted chest, following the trail of glistening water droplets as they trickled down over his—

She noticed how his black jeans hugged his slim hips perfectly, leaving nothing to the imagination… and how the top button was undone. Miaka felt her face heating up with acute embarrassment. Apparently unaware of her presence, he turned, presenting his back to her. She saw the faint ripple of lean muscle under smooth skin as he moved. It was then, that she caught sight of something she had never expected. 

She wondered if she was imagining things. She blinked, squinting into the sunlight.

There was no mistake. It was still there. 

On his back, just behind his right shoulder blade, was something which looked like a small tattoo. 

After she had heard what he had done to Tasuki, she had only intended to seek him out so that she could yell at him. But now, seeing him like this…she wasn't so sure she wanted to approach him. Suddenly, she felt afraid, unsure of herself…and of the strange feelings swamping her. 

In all the time she had spent with him, he had never affected her this much…at least not in the way he was affecting her now. True, he was extremely handsome; she had been aware of that since the very first time she'd met him in Kutou, however, she had always felt that there was a certain hard, unfeeling edge to his looks which left her cold. But of late, she had begun noticing certain… aspects about him. Little things, like the way his eyes changed colours with his emotions, drifting between steely silver-grey and clear sapphire blue; how unlike most people, he wore his watch on the inside of his wrist…and how, despite being right-handed, he folded his arms left-over-right when he crossed them.

She thought of the time he had carried her at the risk of reopening his own injury and how he had helped Houki and the advisors at the palace without being asked…

How he had been protecting her all this while…

Oh no…

Her heart sank as an awful realisation gripped her, even as hysteria slowly mounted. Surely this wasn't happening. It _could not_! She could not be—…She was not beginning to fall in love with him…was she? He was _Nakago _for heaven's sake!

_IIE! Don't be stupid, Miaka! He is just a friend, nothing more! He's evil and twisted…and mean! _she told herself firmly, _And you're already in love with Tamahome! _It was probably just a passing phase she was going through, brought on by a combination of stress, lack of sleep and her anxiety over Tamahome and Keisuke. Soon, it would be over and she would look back and laugh at how foolish she was being now.

She very nearly had herself convinced, even managing to relax slightly. _So there is absolutely NO WAY that I could be—_

"Enjoying the view?" 

She jumped violently at the sudden intrusion of his voice, her face flushing guiltily in response to his question. She looked up at him, having to crane her neck back to meet his mildly amused gaze; realising for the first time, just how close he was. She had not noticed his quiet approach while she had been wrestling with her own emotions. 

"I…" she desperately searched her mind for something to say, "I…I wanted to…talk to you about what you did to Tasuki! It won't hurt you to be a little nicer to him, you know!" She spoke quickly, trying not to look at his bare chest which, coincidentally, happened to be exactly at eye-level.

He lifted a perfect blonde eyebrow at her words as a sardonic smirk played over his lips, either completely oblivious to her discomfort, or else enjoying the fact that he was making it worse…knowing Nakago, chances were that it was the latter.

There were a few remaining water droplets clinging to his skin, and she suddenly had the most compelling urge to brush them off. She needed to do something fast, before she made a complete fool of herself in front of him. Abruptly, she walked around him, trying her best to look nonchalant. 

"I didn't know you had a tattoo," she said, changing the subject, proud that her voice sounded almost normal. Keeping herself calm was much easier when she did not have to meet his eyes.

She could see it clearly now, a small, intricate Celtic cross, skilfully etched into the smooth, unblemished skin. 

It was beautiful…

Before she could stop herself, she had reached out to touch the tattoo. His muscles tensed for a brief instant at the sudden contact before relaxing again under her fingers. The skin on his back was as smooth as it looked, but never had she expected it to feel so soft…or be so wonderfully warm. 

"One wild night in university," he quipped absently, sounding almost wistful, as though he was reliving a fond memory. "I don't remember much from that particular night." 

It was the sound of his voice which shattered the trance she had been pulled into, and she quickly backed away from him in horror, ignoring the painful protest from her sore ankle, only now just realising what she had been doing. _Oh my god…WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? _Miaka stared at her hand in disbelief, almost as if she could not recognise it as her own. 

Suddenly, he turned around to face her, swiftly closing the distance between them in one graceful movement. Before she even had a chance to react, Nakago had lifted a hand to cup her chin, gently tilting her face upwards. The smirk had returned, but there was the oddest expression in his eyes, and she found herself mesmerised by them, beginning to drown in their fathomless blue depths…

Very slowly, he lowered his own face towards hers, until their lips were almost touching. _No… Please don't… _her mind whispered in a weak protest. The water had turned his hair into the dark gold of rich honey; a few of the wet strands falling forward over his eyes to brush against her cheek. She wanted to wrench herself away from him and run for the hills as fast as she could…but found herself frozen where she stood, her legs refusing to obey any of her commands.

"There are some nosy people hiding behind those bushes. Let's give them something to talk about, shall we?" he murmured as his thumb stroked soothingly along her jaw and over the delicate skin of her throat. Nicholas could sense how tense she was; could feel the rapid flutter of her pulse under his fingertips. "Just play along…Miaka," he said softly, using her name in an attempt to calm her. Unfortunately, it had quite a different effect. 

The feel of him whispering her name against her mouth…the individual syllables brushing against sensitive flesh was unbelievably sensual. Without her being even aware of it, her lips parted. 

When he finally drew her fully into a soul-binding kiss, she could not have refused him…even if she had wanted to. 

_"Have you ever experienced a perfect moment in time? When time seemed to stop…"_

* * *

Notes:

1) Alrighty! This is the chapter that a lot of people have been waiting for...LOTS of Nakago/Miaka interaction. Hehhehheh. This is the third time he's kissing her: Once in the anime series, once in "This Time Around" and now this...what's going to happen afterwards...? 

2) Yep, dear Nicholas has a tattoo. I just thought it would be a nice touch. As he says, "I don't remember much from that particular night," meaning that he was probably drunk(!) with his university mates when he got it. Nicholas seems to be this very rational person who seems to always be in control, and I wanted to put across the point that even Mr. Perfect makes mistakes once in a while (and believe me, people do very strange things when they're drunk)...but that's a different story! Anyway, the tattoo is of a celtic cross, because I thought that Nakago/Nicholas having one of a dragon would be too corny for words. 


	14. Walking A Thin Line

**Chapter 14: Walking A Thin Line**

He was floating in a void and everywhere he looked was just an endless expense of blue. 

He had no idea where he was and what had happened to him. The last thing he remembered was fighting…there had been a needle-sharp pain in his neck when an assassin jabbed him with a dart, and then, nothing. He had woken up here, in this featureless place. _Where am I?_ _Am I dead? _He wondered what had happened to everyone else…His throat constricted when he thought about Miaka. Had she gotten away safely?

As if in response to his thoughts, there was suddenly a large doorway in front of him. He could almost have sworn that it had not been there a moment ago. Cautiously approaching it, he reached out to touch it, putting a hand through…

The surface rippled like liquid metal as he yanked his arm back in shock. The ripples subsided, leaving behind an image like a reflection in a mirror…

…only the reflection wasn't of himself. 

He saw a handsome blonde man and a pretty russet-haired girl…

Together.

Kissing.

Taka paled and swung a fist at the smooth mirror-like surface in a desperate attempt to make the image go away. The picture distorted beyond recognition when his hand came into contact with it, exploding into iridescent waves. Backing away, he tried not to look, but the image had been burned into his mind, searing into his heart. He slowly sunk to his knees, his body shaking with silent anguish.

In the doorway, the ripples had cleared, but the image remained; perfect, unmarred, frozen in time for all to see.

* * *

In the darkness broken only by the faint blue glow of an energy field, two men hung suspended in a prison with no bars. Barely conscious, one of them managed to open his eyes.

Something in his eyes had changed, and they were no longer the gentle violet they had once been. They were dark… the colour of the sky at twilight, clouded with jealousy and despair. A second later, his eyelids slipped closed again, and everything was as it was before, undisturbed by the outside world. 

No sound penetrated the ominous silence, and the minutes continued to pass like hours. In the depths of his heart, festering like a disease, the seeds of hate took root and began to grow…waiting for the time when it could be set free to take revenge on the one who had stolen away what had been rightfully his.

_Soon…_

* * *

Her eyes fluttered closed as the surroundings seemed to fade away. Nothing else mattered; nothing else existed, except him...and the foreign sensations he was making her feel. Gentle and achingly sweet, the kiss seemed to last an eternity. She was being sucked into a whirlpool of powerful emotions, and all her confusion, her anxiety and grief…as well as a thousand other unexplored, unacknowledged feelings broke free. Somewhere along the line, she unconsciously began to respond…

A soft golden glow surrounded them, flaring outwards for a fraction of a second before fading. In that moment in time, between one heartbeat and the next, Miaka felt the same surge of power which had wrapped around her when she had almost drowned in the palace pond…the same familiar power which she somehow knew from another time and place—

Abruptly, Nakago pulled away from her, leaving her dazed. Her knees felt weak and unsteady, threatening to give way under her weight, as if she was someone who was just learning how to walk. She slowly lifted her head to stare blankly at him in bewilderment; instinctively raising a hand to touch her lips, swollen from his kiss…

A veil seemed to have dropped over Nakago's features, and his face was perfectly expressionless, but somehow she could tell that he was…surprised. Off-balance. She couldn't have said how or why she knew, she just…did. 

Before either of them could say anything, there was a brilliant flash of light and a puff of smoke, heralding the arrival of Taiitsukun, the being who presided over the universe of the four gods. The ugly old woman stared at the two of them, scrutinising first Miaka, then turning her attention to Nicholas; paying not the slightest heed to the swearing coming from behind the nearby undergrowth or the bandits who tumbled out shortly thereafter.

"Tai—Taiitsukun!" Miaka stammered, starting to blush furiously under the old woman's intense scrutiny, wanting nothing more than to crawl under a rock and die from embarrassment.

"Miaka," the old witch said, pausing long enough send a withering glare at the loudly cursing orange-haired bandit who had fallen out of the shrubbery, "If your seishi can just SHUT UP for a minute, I have something important to tell you." 

"Something important to tell me?" the girl repeated dumbly, not even noticing that the sound from Tasuki had been suddenly and miraculously cut off as Kouji helpfully clamped a hand over the flame-haired seishi's mouth and a few other bandits restrained the irate man who was glaring hatefully at Nicholas.

"Not just you actually…it concerns him as well," Taiitsukun looked towards Nicholas, meeting his cool stare squarely, not in the least intimidated by the tall, impassive blonde. She scowled at him, "Oh stop it! You're not fooling anyone by hiding behind that expressionless mask! Not even Miaka!" she snapped impatiently.

Nicholas' eyes narrowed, and the muscles in his jaw tightened, but he did not say anything in retaliation.

The wizened old woman cleared her throat authoritatively, "Well, it took you two long enough to get here."

Miaka was confused, her gaze going from Taiitsukun to Nakago, who seemed to be studiously ignoring her, before going back to the old woman. "Here?"

"Would you stop repeating everything I say! Yes, HERE. As in getting to the stage where the bond you share with him," Taiitsukun casually pointed in Nakago's direction, "became fully activated."

"NANI?" The outraged yell came from several people, namely, all the uninvited spectators who happened to be eavesdropping on the conversation. Was it a trick of light, or had even Nakago paled slightly? Miaka stared at the entity in front of her in disbelief. "What…bond?" she asked weakly.

The old witch smiled slyly, "Why don't you ask him? This bond has been enabling him to feel what you feel."

Miaka gasped, _To feel what I feel? _It took her a second to comprehend the meaning of Taiitsukun's words. All the colour drained from her face as feelings of shock and abject horror swirled around her as the implications of the realisation hit her full force. She was so caught up in the storm of her own emotions that she did not notice the blonde man across from her clenching his fists as he tensed, his breath escaping involuntarily in a small, sharp hiss…almost as if he was in pain. Soon however, the horror turned into full-fledged anger as she whipped her head around to face Nakago, "When were you planning to tell me this?" she began in a low, dangerous voice. "Were you even going to tell me at all? HOW COULD YOU INVADE MY PRIVACY LIKE THAT!" The volume of her voice increased with every word she uttered until she was practically screaming at him.

"If I had ignored them, you would be dead by now," Nakago's deep voice was deceptively calm, but there was an unmistakable undertone of repressed anger.

"IIE! YOU'RE LYING!" The words were out of her mouth before she realised that something was very wrong. Why was everyone looking at her like that? Even Tasuki was staring at her with his jaw hanging open, as if she were some sort of freak…

Her mind rapidly replayed the last few seconds again, trying to pinpoint what had gone wrong. She had accused Nakago of looking into her heart without permission, and then, he had said that—

_OH CRAP…_

_(Really? Whatever in the world tipped you off, Suzaku no Miko?)_

The remark was caustic, every word dripping with sarcasm. He was back to addressing her by her full title…he had not called her that since they had become friends. He was frustrated and angry, and the cold, deliberate formality had been calculated to hurt. Nakago's lips had not moved in all the time she'd been looking at him, not even when he had replied to her accusation. She had heard him, not with her ears, but with her mind… 

HE was in her head.

She felt something inside her begin to crack under the strain._ Me being able to hear NAKAGO in my head? I really AM going crazy! _It was the only plausible reason she could come up with. Suddenly, she had the strangest urge to start laughing hysterically and never stop. Everything was becoming too funny for words. In fact, this just HAD to be the biggest joke in the history of the universe—…She had to be hallucinating now, because she thought she saw a look of alarm flashing through Nakago's eyes. That couldn't be possible, could it? When had Nakago ever been unnerved by anything? 

"Miaka!" Taiitsukun ordered sharply, cutting through her rambling thoughts, "Get a hold of yourself!"

The stern voice jerked her back to reality, her wide, panicked hazel eyes snapping up to focus on the being floating in mid-air in front of her. She looked stricken for a second, then without warning, her legs buckled under her. However, just before she hit the ground, her fall was cushioned by Tasuki, who had struggled free of the other bandits' restraining hold and lunged towards her with inhuman speed. He wrapped his arms tightly around her. Her skin felt so frighteningly cold…as if all the warmth had somehow been leeched from her. 

"Why is this…happening to me? To…us?" she managed to whisper hoarsely, her eyes pleading for an explanation. To anyone who was watching, she looked incredibly pale and fragile, as though she had been through some kind of extensive and elaborate torture session and then a very prolonged illness.

Tasuki hugged her close to him, trying his best to convey whatever warmth and comfort he could. Miaka was one of the most resilient people he knew, but at the moment, she was teetering on the brink of her sanity. He gritted his teeth angrily, _Dammit! She can't take much more of this! _He glared at Taiitsukun and then at Nakago, hating them for doing this to her—…whatever it was they were doing.

Taiitsukun sighed, her stern face softening as she regarded the trembling girl in front of her. She did not envy what the Suzaku no Miko was going through…and the challenges she had yet to face. However, it was not her place to reveal anything concerning the future. She had to let them discover their own destiny… and the story was just beginning to play out. "Perhaps it was wrong of me not to explain the nature of this bond to you first," she said almost gently, her gaze flicking over to glance at the blonde man who played as big a part in the grand scheme of things as the russet-haired miko.

"This bond you two share is the direct result of what happened when you fought Tenkou. Miaka, you were able to call Suzaku only because Nakago added his power to yours. Because of this, the moment Suzaku was summoned, a bond was created between both your souls," she paused, and addressed Nicholas directly, "It was this bond which led you to her in your world…and also allowed you to know when she was in danger." Taiitsukun stared meaningfully at the silent blonde man, "You know I speak the truth."

"It was you," Miaka said suddenly, the words barely audible. _That power I felt, pulling me back, giving me strength when I almost drowned, and just now—…that's why it seemed so familiar…the power was his! His…presence. I felt it when I was summoning Suzaku that time… _She stared up at Nicholas from the protective circle of Tasuki's arms, eyes dark and haunted in her pale face, "It was you all along…" 

(_I…felt you_.) she thought at him tiredly.

She knew that he understood what she was talking about. After all, he could now read her every thought…There was no outward change in his demeanour, but she felt him give a wordless mental acknowledgment even though she could almost taste his unwillingness to accept the idea. 

Everyone stared at the girl and the blonde man in confusion, suspecting that they were missing a large part of the conversation. 

The thick silence was broken by a less-than-polite cough from Taiitsukun as she continued, "The link has mostly been dormant up to now, only working when one of you is in danger. However, the intensity of the…contact both of you shared just now has fully activated it."

No sooner had the old woman finished talking, Miaka lurched to her feet, startling Tasuki and causing him to topple backwards. A bright red aura flared around her, and her expressive hazel eyes glittered angrily, as she pointed an accusing finger at Nakago. Her fighting spirit had returned, and there was going to be hell to pay.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS IF YOU HADN'T…IF YOU HADN'T DONE _THAT_!" she lashed out at him, shrieking at him both out loud and mentally, simultaneously channelling all her pent-up anger, confusion and frustration at him. Her throat hurt from all the yelling she was doing, but she didn't care. She felt a sense of cruel satisfaction when Nakago flinched almost imperceptibly at the dual assault. Perhaps this telepathic and empathic link they now had the misfortune of sharing did have its uses after all…

In the next instant, Nakago directed a scathing glare at her. His blue eyes had turned almost completely silver, and he seemed to stare right through her. Miaka gasped, taking a step back as he forcefully pushed—…no, _shoved_ her out of his mind and slammed a mental door in her face. 

She blinked in disbelief at the almost-physical sensation. Somehow, he had managed to erect a mental shield of sorts to protect himself from her psychic onslaught. She had not known that he was capable of such a thing. It put her at a very obvious disadvantage. 

(_DAMN YOU! I HATE YOU! JERK!)_ she thought vehemently at him, visibly shaking in fury when he took no notice. _It isn't fair! IT'S NOT FAIR! _

"Life is never fair. Get used to it," Nicholas felt his lips to twist into an icy sneer as they both realised that he had the ability to bar her from his thoughts at will, but she could not hide any of hers from him. She might be the legendary Priestess of Suzaku, but his mind was still far superior to hers. _We've certainly had enough unpleasant surprises for one day…Maybe things are finally starting to look up, _his mental voice stated with fatalistic amusement.

He abruptly turned on his heel and walked away from her, feeling her enraged glare searing into the back of his skull; knowing without having to look, that she was clenching her fists so tightly that the delicate nails were digging into the soft skin of her palms and threatening to draw blood. A small part of him hoped against hope that if he left now, perhaps the last half hour or so would be erased as if it had never happened…that he would suddenly wake up and discover that this was all a bad dream. 

He was terribly tired…Tired of being a part of this entire farce, of even being inside the Book of the Four Gods. He had never asked to be involved in all this, and was beginning to wish that he had never met the Suzaku no Miko. Ever. 

At the moment, he doubted that he had the patience required to put up with anyone who was currently present…especially her. He had other things to worry about—like his own mental well-being—and he didn't particularly care if she _did _manage to draw blood. If the Suzaku no Miko wanted to hurt herself, that was her own problem. He didn't want to care. 

And so he chose not to.

* * *

He knew she wasn't asleep, although she was doing a very good job of pretending. 

She was also staying as far away from him as she could get, which suited him just fine. He had no intention of peeking into her mind anyway…He had absolutely no idea where she had gotten the impression that he would try to pry into every thought passing through that little head of hers. Really. 

He sighed inwardly. Once he had given himself a chance to analyse the situation carefully, he realised that it had been unfair of him to be angry at her. In fact, this bond they now shared had come about as a result of the decisions HE had made. He had chosen to help her summon Suzaku, although there was no way he could have anticipated the after-effects of that course of action. And then there was the little matter of what he had just done…

There really wasn't anyone he could blame except himself. He should never have kissed her.

Nicholas frowned, wondering what had possessed him to even do such a thing, other than rankling the Suzaku seishi and the bandits who had been spying on them. He had not thought of the possible consequences before he had acted, and it was very unlike him to be impulsive. _What was I even thinking, pulling a stunt like that? _Now, because of his lapse in judgment, they were paying the price. Both of them.

What he still could not figure out was his reaction to Miaka. It had been surprising, to put it mildly. It wasn't as if he was inexperienced with women, and she was just…well…_her_, the girl he had always known as the Suzaku no Miko. Determined, forgiving, compassionate…and a monumental pain in the ass. 

However, when he had felt her lips part under his own, the urge to deepen the kiss had almost been overwhelming._ Why? _It couldn't possibly have been the kiss itself, because it certainly was not the first time he had kissed her, although she did have the softest lips he had ever encountered, and she tasted like strawberries…

Thankfully, he had pulled away before he had done anything that he could have ended up regretting… not that he wasn't already sorely regretting the entire incident. He was walking a very thin, very dangerous line, and would probably get into a lot of trouble if he tried anything like that like that outside the Shijintenchisho. Getting arrested on a charge of teenage sexual harassment was not among his plans for the near future. Nicholas smiled mirthlessly at the thought. He definitely did not need a complication like that in his life.

As if a soul bond with the Suzaku no Miko, of all people, wasn't enough of a complication…

No one had thought to ask and Taiitsukun had not mentioned anything about the last aspect of having a bond of this nature, but Nicholas knew something that the others did not. _No wonder her chi-barrier had no effect on me earlier._ What he and Miaka shared went far beyond a mere psychic link. They would have to learn to live with the fact that they shared a part of each other's soul…_Because the only way to sever the bond would be for one of us to die._

He was by no means happy about it, but there was very little he could do. _Till death do us part…How nice, _he mused bitterly.

He closed his eyes, the unfamiliar strain of constantly having to guard his thoughts from her was very taxing. In addition, having to carry her earlier; the encounters with her annoying seishi and the bandits…all that had served to deplete his energy and erode away his emotional reserve. He knew that he desperately needed some sleep, or else he would probably end up losing his temper and maiming someone before they even reached Kutou.

* * *

Miaka cautiously opened her eyes and sat up, warily looking over at the blonde man from beside a snoring Tasuki. The bandit had not said anything about what he had seen, but he had been glowering at Nakago throughout the entire evening; his hands wrapped so tightly around his tessen that the knuckles had turned white. 

Nakago appeared to be asleep, although she was not entirely sure. His eyes were closed, and his back was against a tree. He had put his shirt back on, for that, she was grateful. It occurred to her that she had never actually had the chance to study him while he was asleep…He was always awake when she woke up and he always stayed up longer than she did. Her gaze was drawn to his face; now relaxed in sleep. He looked younger, his features losing the customary hard edge they usually had when he was awake.

_Don't stare at him like that! _she scolded herself sternly. _He got both of us into this whole stupid mess, and I should be mad at him for what he did! The jerk USED me to freak Tasuki out!_

Every detail of their kiss was permanently etched into her memory; how his warm lips had brushed against hers, first gently, then more deliberately. She ground her teeth together in agitation. Just when she thought she had their complex and extremely unconventional relationship figured out, he had to throw the proverbial spanner in the works and do _THAT_. He had effectively sent her emotions into a tailspin, and she was furious at him for doing it simply to shock Tasuki. His twisted version of a practical joke had succeeded without a doubt, but as usual, it had been entirely at her expense. She was angry at Tasuki as well, for spying on them in the first place…

…and lastly, she was angry at her own foolishness, for allowing herself to be caught in such a situation; for letting it affect her like this; and for not following her instincts when they had told her to retreat when she'd had the chance.

Why was she letting a simple kiss tie her up in knots? It wasn't the first time Nakago had kissed her, and it certainly wasn't the most sincere kiss she had ever received. She searched her heart, feeling like she had somehow betrayed Tamahome. She was quite sure that she still loved him, but the knowledge only gave her a small measure of cold comfort. Why was she having all these strange feelings? _Towards…Nakago? _

_What's happening to me?_

She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, squeezing her eyes shut. _A bond…Taiitsukun said our souls were connected. Maybe all these…feelings are because of this bond, _she reasoned. Surely it was nothing more complicated than that. The thought calmed her troubled mind, and she felt some of the tension leaving her body. 

She opened her eyes, glaring daggers at Nakago, wishing that she could work up the nerve to just walk over and kick him, preferably somewhere which would hurt a great deal and permanently damage something...like his ability to procreate.

_Damn the inconsiderate, arrogant, INFURIATING, INSUFFERABLE BAKA! _

she fumed silently. Everyone needed a hobby, but HE seemed to have made it his goal in life to keep her perpetually off-balance. Trust him to confuse her without even trying. _The Powers That Be just HAD to reincarnate him with every single one of his evil personality traits fully intact, didn't they? I bet they did it just to make my life miserable! _

Miaka buried her face in her hands and sighed. She just wanted forget all this ever happened and go home with Keisuke and Tamahome…She wanted so much to see Yui again and go back to being just a normal girl with a normal life…was that too much to ask for?

Lying down on her side, she curled into a foetal ball, trying to rock herself to sleep like she had done when she'd been a little girl. 

She welcomed the fitful sleep which finally came upon her; needing to escape—if only for a little while—from the tangle of thoughts and emotions which so confused and tormented her. 

A single thought flitted at the edges of her tired mind just before she slipped into unconsciousness. Half-formed and indistinct, it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. 

_What would it be like…to be loved by him?_

* * *

Notes:

1) And in the aftermath...Finally, the answer to some of the questions which have been floating around, like: (i) Why Nakago was able to sense Miaka's emotions in earlier chapters, (ii) What was the energy which Miaka found so familiar when she was drowning, (iii) Who was spying on them, and... (iv) Why Nicholas/Nakago was able to pass through Miaka's psychic barrier. Whew!

2) Poor Miaka, finding out that she's now bonded to the one guy who confuses the hell out of her and drives her up the wall. Her subconscious mind, on the other hand...(looks innocently at the last sentence of this chapter and smirks evilly) You and me both, sister!


	15. Night Terrors

**Chapter 15: Night Terrors**

Miaka had spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon avoiding him and glaring at him from afar. In fact, she was not the only one glaring at him…Tasuki and most of the bandits seemed only too happy to oblige as well. If looks could kill, Nicholas would have been on the ground minus a heartbeat and quite possibly a large number of vital body parts.

Luckily for Nicholas, he'd perfected the art of ignoring them, until it came almost as second nature to him. Harder to ignore, however, were Miaka's frequent experimental probes into his mind, trying to see if his mental shields were still in place. 

They were, and he was taking great pains to keep them that way…but if there was one thing he had learnt about the Suzaku no Miko, it was that she never gave up, especially if she was looking for a way to get back at him. The angry stares and the silent treatment, he could handle; the prospect of her knowing his every thought and having to put up with her shrieking in his head…_THAT,_ he could not.

It was purely by chance that he ended up walking directly behind her. She had lagged behind to talk to Kouji, while Tasuki led the way at the head of the group. She seemed very at ease when she spoke to the man, and Nicholas did not blame her. Although he did not converse with the dark-haired bandit any more than he did with anyone else, he found the man to be far more agreeable compared to the flame-haired Suzaku seishi. 

She laughed at something Kouji said, taking her eyes off the path in front of her for a second…and promptly tripped over a fallen tree branch. "Aaaaaahhhh!" She pitched forward, sprawling ungracefully in the dirt.

"Itaaaiii…" she moaned, looking up at Kouji who was trying to hide a grin at her clumsiness. The bandit offered his hand to help her up, which she gratefully took.

It was not until she was up on her feet and beginning to dust herself off, that she finally noticed someone behind her. With dread, Miaka instinctively knew who it was. She let out a mental groan. Of all the people in the world, it just HAD to be Nakago who had witnessed—

A second realisation followed swiftly on the heels of the first. When she had fallen over, her short uniform skirt had flipped up... "YOU SAW IT!" she hissed angrily at her arch-nemesis, her face burning with humiliation. She experienced a stunning moment of déja vu. This had happened before…The same situation, in a different place…and with a different person.

Nicholas lifted an eyebrow at her, easily able to read her flustered thoughts. Of course he knew exactly what she was referring to…and he had indeed been treated to a first-class view of her underwear when she'd pitched over. Moreover, she was not going to believe him even if he denied it anyway…

…Which he wasn't.

His sensual lips curved into a slow, suggestive smile. "Nothing I haven't seen before," he informed her calmly, blue eyes gleaming with mild amusement. He watched her face turn an interesting shade of red, one which he had never seen before on anyone. He also noted that Kouji was standing on the sidelines, unabashedly listening to the conversation with undisguised interest.

Without warning, Miaka found her mind flooded with a series of images. Of her. In all the various states of undress Nakago had ever seen her in. Her blood boiled, and she barely managed to hold back a scream of rage at what he was doing. _Of all the NERVE…! _The damned man was _projecting_ all those images directly into her head! He was letting her see exactly what he had seen!

(_AAAARRRRGH!_ _YOU…YOU HENTAI! ECCHI! PERVERTED CREEP! HENTAAAAIIIII…!)_She wanted to die from embarrassment, mortified at how much of her he had already seen…And in full colour and glorious detail at that too. 

(_What's the matter, dear Miko? Run out of names to call me?)_ Nicholas thought back at her, the mocking words interrupting her mental diatribe. An arrogant smirk crossed his face as she spluttered with wordless outrage, so incensed that her mind was unable to form a single coherent thought. 

Several of the other bandits had turned around to stare at them, looking curiously from one person to the other. Neither the blonde man or the girl had said a single word, and yet…the Suzaku no Miko seemed to become more and more furious with each passing moment. 

There was the ominous crackle of high-voltage electricity building up. _Uh-Oh…This isn't good,_ Kouji realised uncomfortably. He had only a vague idea as to what was really going on between the russet-haired miko and the blonde former shogun, but he knew that things were about to get very ugly if someone didn't do something soon. The Suzaku no Miko looked as if she was about to explode. He opened his mouth to say something, hoping to calm her down before she decided to launch herself at Nakago's throat …

"DAAAAAA!" 

There was an ubiquitous puff of smoke, and the next instant, a blue-haired monk stood between Nakago and Miaka, smiling amiably and seemingly unaware of the fact that he had literally appeared right in the middle of an extremely hostile argument. 

Miaka's mouth dropped open in shock, before a pleased smile swiftly replaced the anger on her face as she momentarily forgot about Nakago, "Chi—Chichiri!" 

* * *

Chichiri's presence seemed to have a calming effect on Miaka, much to Kouji's relief. He half-listened to the monk talking to the Suzaku no Miko as he discreetly eyed Nakago. He knew that Miaka and the blonde man could communicate telepathically, _But what in the world could Nakago have said to make her so angry?_ he wondered curiously. The relationship between the two of them confused him; a day ago, they had appeared to be on very good terms…if the passionate kiss he had seen them sharing was any indication. But now…they appeared barely able to stand the sight of each other. 

Kouji shook his head. On second thought, given the identity of both parties and what he knew of them, he was not sure he wanted to know... 

"Taiitsukun told you where we were?" Miaka asked softly, "Did she…say anything else?"

Her seishi stared at her quizzically, "Only that you needed my help to rescue Tamahome, no da." An expression of concern passed over his ever-smiling face, "Is something wrong, Miaka?" he prompted her quietly, noticing how pale and tired she looked.

She sighed, fingers massaging her temples in agitation, feeling a headache building behind her eyes. _He has the right to know, _she convinced herself. Haltingly, she told him about the soul bond she shared with a certain obnoxious blonde man, conveniently leaving out the part about just how they had managed to fully activate the mostly dormant psychic link. 

The look of incredulous surprise which had taken up residence on Chichiri's face was almost too comical for words, but for once, Miaka didn't feel like laughing.

* * *

Miaka sat on her bed in the inn which they had decided to spend the night. They had reached the small town on the Kutou-Konan border without any further mishaps just before sunset, and the Mt. Reikaku bandits had reluctantly taken their leave in order to resume their search for the group who had been terrorising the villages in the area. 

It was already very late, almost midnight, and she had not seen Nakago for several hours. She found that she did not know how to act around him anymore. _Damn him, _she thought wearily. He was probably the only person capable of making her so angry and confused at the same time with so little effort. She wondered how much of her mind he had already read…if he was already aware of the strange, conflicting emotions she had with regards to him. Miaka didn't know how she would be able to face him again if he ever found out.

She started violently at the sound of someone outside her room; her heart rate accelerating as the door slowly creaked open. In the moonlight streaming in through the open window, she could just make out the dark shape of a person moving towards her…

"Miaka?" a familiar voice whispered, an instant before she would have started screaming.

She put a hand to her chest and took a deep breath, willing her frantic heartbeat to slow down. "Tasuki? What are you doing here? You scared me!" she admonished him as calmly as she could manage, not wanting him to know how unnerved she had been by his unexpected visit in the middle of the night. Somehow, she could not shake the feeling of unease as she watched Tasuki making his way over to her. _There's something not quite right…is it my imagination, or is Tasuki stumbling a little? _Her seishi's usually confident swagger appeared unsteady, as if…as if he was dazed. 

He wordlessly seated himself heavily on the bed beside her. The moonlight allowed her to see his face clearly, and his expression was uncharacteristically serious and darkly melancholic. He just sat there, silently staring at her, his amber eyes almost glowing in the darkness.

"Tasuki? Tasuki, what's wrong?" Miaka whispered urgently, suddenly alarmed at his strange behaviour. "What—"

Before her mind could process what was happening, he had lifted a hand and was stroking her cheek with his fingers. The caress was intimate, like something exchanged between lovers. She gasped, instinctively recoiling from his touch, startled by his actions. In the next instant, she found herself being pushed backwards and pinned down on the bed with Tasuki on top of her, still looking at her with that terrifying golden animalistic gaze. 

She was suddenly afraid of him. Tasuki was her friend, but he was scaring her!

"Why did you pull away from me?" he questioned angrily, his face hovering mere inches above her own. "You would let HIM touch you, kiss you…but you can't bear for anyone else to touch you anymore, is that it? Tell me, Miaka…do you love him? Have you forgotten what that monster did to us? Have you forgotten that he killed Hotohori?" he hissed, his words searing into her panic-stricken consciousness like acid. He leaned further down, intending to claim her lips with his own…

His warm breath wafted over her face, laced with the strong smell of alcohol. She could feel the heat radiating from his skin, almost like he had a fever. Miaka turned her face aside, trying to avoid his kiss and began struggling frantically against him, "Tasuki! Stop it! You're drunk!" 

Tasuki held both her wrists with one hand, effortlessly resisting her desperate attempts to push him off her. Easily shrugging the loose white shirt off his shoulders, he straddled her body, trapping her securely under him. "You don't know what you're doing, Tasuki…onegai...Please stop! Onegai…" she was sobbing now, the tears trickling down her cheeks. _Don't do this…_

He ignored her frightened pleas, delicately licking at the salty tear-tracks and nuzzling his face against her cheek. "If it is the only way to prevent you from bein' hurt by that blonde bastard…I'll take you myself. I'll make you forget him…" he said in a low, tense voice as he brushed his lips against her earlobe, "Has he touched you here?" he demanded harshly, sliding his hand up her thigh, stopping just under the hem of her skirt. 

Miaka whimpered in terror, choking on her tears. Her reaction seemed to anger the flame-haired bandit, and he pushed her even more firmly into the mattress, tightening his grip on her wrists. 

He was beginning to hurt her…

_Yamete…_

"Why don't you want me to touch you?" he ground out, his free hand coming up to roughly unbutton her uniform blouse as he continued whispering poisonously into her ear, "Or have you already betrayed Tamahome by letting Nakago fu—" 

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying her best to block out the sound of Tasuki's voice as he began to utter the most vile of words. 

However, Tasuki never got the chance to finish. 

All of a sudden, Miaka felt him being forcefully torn off her. Barely a heartbeat later, there was the loud crash of a human body colliding violently with something, followed by a dull thud. 

Silence.

Miaka held her breath; shaking uncontrollably as she listened fearfully to the footsteps approaching the bed. She huddled among the rumpled sheets, not daring to move; trying to make herself as small as she could, wishing she could turn herself invisible. _Stay away! Please don't come any closer… _Tears leaked out from under tightly closed eyelids. _Go away…_

(_If I had stayed away, you, dear Miko, would no longer be a virgin,)_ a familiar voice remarked dryly in her mind. Despite the words, his tone was more matter-of-fact than mocking. If he had any hurtful comments to make, he kept them to himself, passing up the chance to torment her.

_Nakago…?_ her mind whispered. For a brief moment, something which felt very much like concern brushed against her senses, but by the time she had identified the sensation, it was already gone.

"Miaka! Are you all right, no da? Wha—" Chichiri had appeared in the open doorway, anxiously scanning the room. His eyes widened as he caught sight of Tasuki lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. "What happened in here, no da?" 

"Tasuki…he…H-He tried to…to…" she could not bring herself to say the words.

"He tried to force himself on her," Nicholas stated flatly, completing the sentence for her. Outwardly calm, he walked past the Suzaku monk and exited the room without a backward glance. The threat was gone, and there was no further need for him to stay around. He had no intention of telling anyone about how he had felt her fear and distress as if it had been his own, and how he had heard every single one of Tasuki's words to her, echoing in his mind as clearly as if he had been in the room with them. Unpleasant memories which he would rather have forgotten had come flooding back with a vengeance. He had been disgusted with himself even back then…that time in his tent in Hokkan, when he had almost done the same thing as what the idiot bandit had tried. 

For one heart-stopping moment, he had not been sure if he would make it to her in time. He had been…_afraid_. For her. Seeing the bandit on top of her diminutive form had sent a surge of white-hot rage racing through him; the unfamiliar feeling surprising in its intensity. This time, Nicholas had not tried to suppress the emotion, letting it have free rein over his actions. He had hit Tasuki harder than had been necessary, finding malicious satisfaction in slamming the orange-haired seishi face-first into the nearest wall.

Miaka's bewildered gaze followed the departing blonde figure, continuing to stare numbly after him even when he had disappeared out of sight down the darkened hallway. She sat utterly still for a long moment, before slowly turning to stare at Tasuki's prone form. She cautiously approached her seishi, coming stand next to Chichiri, who was turning the bandit over and checking for injuries. 

"Is Tasuki—…Did Nakago…kill him?" she asked hesitantly, her voice sounding strange to her own ears. 

"No, he's just passed out, partly as a result of getting beaten up by Nakago, but mostly because he was drunk to start with…although he is going to have some very nasty bruises in the morning no da," the monk said carefully. He took in her dishevelled appearance, "Miaka, daijoubu?" His voice was quiet and serious, the smiling mask he usually wore was nowhere in sight.

"I…I'm okay," she managed shakily, crossing her arms tightly to hide the fact that her hands were still trembling badly. Taking a deep breath, she sniffed and clumsily wiped at her tears. "We need to get Tasuki back to his room," she finally muttered, avoiding Chichiri's concerned gaze. 

The blue-haired monk nodded silently in agreement, tactfully choosing not to comment on what had almost happened.

Between them, Chichiri and Miaka managed to manoeuvre the unconscious man into an upright position. With both of them supporting Tasuki on either side, they half-dragged, half-carried him to his room; a task made all the more difficult by the fact that Tasuki was heavier than he looked. Once there, it took considerable effort on both their parts before they succeeded in getting him onto the bed. 

Miaka stared down at Tasuki, who was now sprawled limply across the mattress. _It wasn't his fault, _she told herself firmly. She knew he had been seething with anger over what he had witnessed while spying on her and Nakago…but she knew Tasuki, and she refused to believe that he had really meant to hurt her. The misguided logic and irrational behaviour…the alcohol had seen to that. "It wasn't your fault," she whispered fiercely to the comatose man, even though she doubted that he could hear her.

Sighing, she reached out to gently brush aside the bright hair which had fallen across his closed eyes...

Things were going to be awkward in the morning, but she was determined not to lose Tasuki's friendship. Not now, and not over this. 

* * *

She had spent the last hour or so tossing and turning restlessly in bed. She was tired, exhausted from the torrent of emotions she had recently experienced, but found herself unable to fall asleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the events of earlier replaying themselves over and over again in her mind. 

Kicking off her blanket and getting to her feet, she nervously paced the length of her room a few times. The atmosphere had become stifling all of a sudden. _I need to get out of here_. Despite the late hour, she could still hear people talking and moving about below. _Maybe I can get something to eat…_There was nothing which calmed her nerves faster than food. The thought made her crack a small smile in spite of herself; even after all she had been through, some things would never change. 

Miaka descended the wooden stairs which led to the ground floor. She was about halfway down when she froze on her tracks. The inn's dining hall was reasonably well-lit, and there were still a few customers around…but that was not what had caught her attention. 

Nakago was sitting at one of the tables. 

Her first instinct was to bolt back up the stairs and hide in her room. Nakago was one of the last people on earth she wished to see, after what had just happened with Tasuki. She had neither the emotional strength nor the courage to talk to him at the moment, and there were still so many things concerning him which she had yet to resolve. Until she could sort out the tangle of confused emotions, she did not want to face him…

…or at least that had been her plan. It was to her considerable horror, however, that she found herself already almost directly in front of him. Miaka did not remember her mind telling her legs to start walking towards him! Her feet had moved on their own accord while she had been debating with herself, taking her nearer and nearer to the table he was seated at. _Oh no! This isn't supposed to happen! What am I going to say to him? I can't—…Miaka Yuuki! _she reproached herself sternly, _You are such a coward! You'll have to face him sooner or later! Let's just get it over and done with!_

She warily approached him, nervously biting on her lip; trying not to give in to the powerful urge to turn tail and run like a frightened deer. Her apprehension turned into annoyance when he did not look up to acknowledge her; either unaware or indifferent to her presence. She ground her teeth together in irritation. She knew she was being unreasonable, but…damn the man! He wasn't making things any easier for her. 

"Nakago?" Her voice came out softer and sounding more unsure than she would have liked. She frowned when he made no reply, her hazel eyes narrowing to look carefully at him. It was only then, that she noticed that his skin was slightly flushed and he was holding a half-empty cup of something which smelled just short of lethal. 

He wasn't drinking it…just staring at it with an intensity which was unnerving.

_Oh god…How many has he had?_

Why did men have to resort to drinking when something bothered them? First Tasuki, now him! She felt the familiar panic starting to rise up in her throat. What was she going to do if Nakago tried to—

"I'm not going to attack you," he said suddenly without looking at her, causing her to flinch violently. She had almost forgotten that he could easily read her mind whenever he wished, and she had yet to get used to his abrupt—and disconcerting—way of responding to her thoughts. He did not invite her to sit down, but she did anyway, forcing herself to take the seat opposite him before she lost her nerve. "I never thought I would actually have to rescue you from one of your own seishi," he continued, mild amusement colouring his tone. She relaxed slightly once she realised that Nakago seemed to be his normal insensitive self. 

Miaka glared at him from across table, "You don't have to rub it in," she muttered unhappily through clenched teeth. 

"Hmm," he made a non-committal sound in his throat which sounded halfway between a laugh and a purr. Under her disbelieving gaze, he lifted the cup and easily knocked back its contents in one long swallow. Whatever he was drinking smelled awful, and Miaka wondered how he managed that feat without gagging.

He set the cup down carefully, his movements controlled and meticulous, "He loves you deeply," he said simply, almost casually, as if he was stating the obvious and it was something she should have known all along.

"WHAT?" she spluttered, not believing her ears and gaping at him in astonishment. _He couldn't have said what I thought he just said…could he?_ _Tasuki…loves me? Chigau! I must have a ear infection or something, because I think I'm starting to hear things…_

The blonde man in front of her chuckled, a low, throaty sound. Unmistakably masculine, and completely Nakago. It brushed against her senses like warm velvet on naked skin and caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand up. She shivered, and it had nothing to do with the temperature in the room. He finally looked her straight in the eye for the first time that night, and she found herself staring at him, unable to tear her gaze away. 

His eyes were breathtakingly beautiful, the irises a soft misty blue, so different from what she was accustomed to.

"Not in the way you are thinking," his lips curling slightly in a gesture which indicated that he found her extremely amusing. "He loves you as a seishi should, and would do anything to keep you from getting hurt. He would die for you…probably jump off a cliff if you asked him nicely. Foolish, but brave." 

His eyes focused on an imaginary point somewhere behind her, "Come to think of it, all the Suzaku shichi seishi were like that…Then again, there is a thin line between stupidity and bravery," he reflected. Nakago seemed distracted, as if he was thinking aloud and did not realise it. That in itself was disturbing. (_You have no idea how fortunate you are, to have seishi who are completely loyal to you. The Seiryuu no Miko was not so lucky.)_ He said the last part into her mind, his voice sounding deeper, quieter, and more contemplative somehow.

She stared at him in consternation, not knowing how to reply to his unexpected words. It was the most she had ever heard him say outside of his verbal jabs at her…and this time, he wasn't even trying to insult her. Not really anyway. There was definitely something strange going on with Nakago. This was not like him at all. He was being almost…_nice._

"Why are you telling me this?" she ventured softly, hazel eyes narrowing at him suspiciously. _What is he up to? If this is part of one of his elaborate schemes to piss me off and mock me about what happened with Tasuki, I swear I'll—_

He blinked slowly, making it look almost like a deliberate action. A corner of his mouth tilted up in a lopsided smirk, "I'm drunk, Miaka…were you expecting a commentary on quantum physics and Einstein's theory of relativity?"

_Drunk? Quantum physics? _Miaka had never heard of anyone admitting to being drunk so calmly. He wasn't even slurring his words, and his pronounciation was as precise as ever. For someone who was supposedly inebriated, the blonde former Seiryuu seishi appeared surprisingly lucid and composed. But then again, Nakago was not exactly the most normal of people…A feeling of unease swept over her once again, and she began inching away from the table, wanting to get as far away from him as possible in case he suddenly started acting like Tasuki had...

He did not seem to notice what she was doing, or perhaps he just didn't care. Her arch-nemesis had not moved from his position, simply sitting there and looking at her with innocent baby-blue eyes. _I'm drunk, Miaka…_he had said. Abruptly, she stopped her retreat, belatedly realising that he had used her name. He almost never called her by name unless it was under unusual circumstances. And there was the colour of his eyes…

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. Now that he had mentioned it, she noticed that he reeked of alcohol, leading her to wonder just how far gone he really was. On impulse, she tentatively reached out to him through their psychic link, probing into his mind as gently as she could.

She almost gasped in surprise. Instead of coming up against an impenetrable wall like she had every other time she had tried, this time, she could actually read his thoughts…

His mental shields were down. 

Miaka found out that he had meant every word he'd said about Tasuki and the rest of her seishi. There were other things as well, although they were more emotion than actual thought…a strange sense of regret and wistfulness, along with other less readily-identifiable feelings. 

And behind it all, there was hate. Sharp and biting; held tightly in check and forcefully suppressed.

She grabbed at the edge of the table to steady herself, stunned at what she was seeing in the depths of his mind. _I never knew that…that—…Oh my god…_

Nakago hated Tasuki with an intensity which terrified her.

Soi…

Nakago and Soi had been lovers.

He'd…cared…about the red-haired woman, as much as he had been able to care about anyone… and Tasuki had killed her. 

The images were coming faster now, and clearer. A scene of Nakago, walking in the pouring rain, carrying Soi in his arms, cradling her body against his own as if she were merely asleep…searching for a suitable place to bury her. Someone like her deserved to be laid to rest in a beautiful place, not in a battlefield…it was the least he could do for her. The rain continued to fall, becoming heavier, soaking him to the skin, but he never noticed. Loneliness and regret enveloped him like a shroud, tearing apart whatever was left of his soul; knowing that she was gone forever…so many things left unsaid…so many harsh words which had been better left unspoken… 

The last thing Miaka saw before Nakago's mental shields slammed into place was a distant memory of white cherry blossoms…A solitary tree. He had buried Soi there. It was nothing more than a memory from another lifetime, but the remembered pain…it was still there, even now. There had been so many times he had been sorely tempted to kill Tasuki; so many opportunities to take revenge for Kaen's death…

Kaen…?

"Not everyone is as forgiving as you are," he said tonelessly, his handsome face blank and unreadable. The only thing which betrayed him was the way his fingers wrapped so tightly around the fragile porcelain cup that his knuckles and fingernails had turned white.

Oh God…Nakago…I'm so sorry. I never knew…

She found tears stinging her eyes; the tears the blonde shogun had not been able to shed when Soi had died in his arms. Miaka desperately willed him to relax his grip on the cup before it shattered in his hand; suddenly having a horrible vision of him sitting there with his hands bleeding, not moving, not doing anything to stop the bloodflow...silently staring at her with those hauntingly beautiful silver-blue eyes… _Iie! Kami-sama, please don't let him hurt himself, _she prayed.She felt like the worst kind of voyeur, for having uncovered something so private…for looking into his heart. Her soul ached for him, experiencing the pain he had so carefully locked away. Nakago was an enigma, and she had always wanted to know what went on inside his head; but now she knew…she wished that she didn't.

Miaka watched helplessly as he ignored her; acting like she did not exist…finally loosening his hold on the cup long enough to pour himself another drink from the almost-empty flask beside him.

She wanted so badly to comfort him…

Only, she didn't dare…and didn't know how.

* * *

Notes:

1) OK…I sort of stole the whole incident with Tasuki trying to force himself on Miaka from the OVAs. However, unlike in the OVA, there is no outside force at work here. Tasuki's just very, very drunk. In fact, the theme of this chapter is about the evils of alcohol…Hehhehheh…

2) Miaka actually gets a chance to peek into Nakago's mind and find out what makes him tick! She gets more than she bargained for though! On the surface, it does sound a bit like she's taking advantage of him since he's drunk…but is Nakago/Nicholas really as drunk as he claims? Or is he just pretending? That's up to you (and Miaka) to decide! O.O 

3) Recap! In the anime, Tasuki threw the sword which killed Soi. He was actually aiming at Nakago, but Soi blocked it with her body (Nicholas gave Tasuki a taste of what it feels like to have something sharp and pointy thrown at you in the black widow spider incident in Chapter 13. We find out here that he really did want to kill Tasuki at the time, but apparently changed his mind at the last minute...on Miaka's account, perhaps?). Remember the cruel things Nakago said to Soi before that battle about her not being the one who could make him happy? Yep, he's regretting those, among other things...


	16. Broken Wings

**Chapter 16: Broken Wings**

Tasuki woke up to the mother of all hangovers and stiff, bruised muscles. His entire body felt sore, but the worst part of it was that he had no idea _why _he was feeling like he'd lost an argument with a herd of stampeding water-buffalo.

He gingerly pushed himself upright, and the room seemed to spin alarmingly in response. His mouth tasted like something had died in it, and the pounding behind his temples intensified with every movement he attempted. He turned his head too quickly when the door opened, and instantly regretted it when his vision flared white with pain and his stomach heaved sickeningly.

Chichiri entered and peered closely at him in the most annoying way, "How are you feeling no da?" the monk inquired a bit too cheerfully for Tasuki's taste. Without waiting for an answer, Chichiri walked across the room and threw open the windows, letting in the full glare of the morning sun.

Tasuki swore eloquently, replying to the blue-haired monk's too-cheerful morning greeting with a long string of unrepeatable epithets. He had never been a morning person. He winced as the sunlight shone into his eyes, causing them to water and at the same time encouraging his headache to swell to massive proportions. "Uhhhh…what the hell happened—OUCH! WHAT D'YA THINK YOU'RE DOING?" he yelled when Chichiri prodded a large multi-coloured bruise with his staff.

His friend looked at him, "Nakago happened, no da." Before Tasuki could say anything, Chichiri quickly added, "…but you started it." 

Was it his imagination, or did Chichiri sound less than sympathetic?_ Shit! I got into a fight with Nakago? I don't remember…I hope the bastard's in worse shape than I'm in right now! Great, Miaka's gonna to KILL me! Wait a minute…Miaka…she was…_ Tasuki frowned, trying to piece together the fuzzy, disjointed memories of the previous night. He remembered being upset over the incident concerning Miaka and Nakago. On their arrival in town, he had plyed himself with copious amounts of alcohol to drown the burning anger inside him; hoping that drinking himself into unconsciousness would allow him forget what he had witnessed. Unfortunately, things did not seem to have turned out according to plan…

He closed his eyes, trying to recall. There was a vague memory of making his way to Miaka's room…then, her voice…pleading with him…to stop…

With growing horror he realised what had happened as all the pieces clicked into place. _Oh my god…What have I done! _He suddenly felt very ill, sick with self-loathing. Staggering to his feet, he stumbled across the room to the chamber-pot in the corner and promptly threw up.

He retched until there was nothing left in his stomach before collapsing heavily against the wall, staring blankly at Chichiri. A sob rose up in his throat, still raw from the retching. Tears of guilt and remorse all but blinded him, dripping off his chin to splatter unheeded on the floor. 

"This wasn't supposed to happen…I never meant to—…Miaka…Is she—" 

The blue-haired monk placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, kneeling down beside him, "Miaka is fine no da. Nakago arrived before you could do anything and threw you across the room…" Chichiri explained as tactfully as the truth would allow.

"Thank Suzaku…" Tasuki whispered fervently, pressing a trembling hand over his eyes. He let out a long, shuddering breath, and remained quiet for several minutes. It scared him to think that last night, he had been the enemy, the monster…not Nakago. The thought of what he had almost done made him feel nauseous all over again. "Never dreamed that I'd actually be grateful to that blonde bastard for anythin', but I am," he said slowly. The words left a bitter taste in his mouth and he hated admitting them…Hated himself for losing control and endangering Miaka like that. "That don't mean that I like him any better though," he muttered defiantly under his breath. 

There was suddenly a puff of white smoke which caused Tasuki to start in surprise. His head snapped up instantly to look at Chichiri…

…and found _Nakago_ staring back at him, smiling cheerfully. It was extremely disconcerting. "I think we should be glad that he doesn't have his powers, or there would not have been enough of you left to scrape off the wall no da," Chichiri pointed out bluntly in a good imitation of the blonde shogun's voice. 

"AAAAARRRRGGGH! CHICHIRI, YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ME! DON'T **_DO_** THAT!" 

* * *

He stood nervously in front of her, searching for the words to tell her how sorry he was for what he had done. He'd spent the last hour preparing a speech of apology, but now that he had to actually say it to her…he found himself tongue-tied and pathetically at a loss for words.

She looked up at him with her luminuous hazel eyes. There were large dark circles under them, emphasising the fact that she was ghastly pale from the lack of sleep. She seemed to age before his eyes, weighed down by worry and fatigue. 

Guilt flooded over him. He had been responsible for at least part of her distress. "Miaka, I…" 

Before he had a chance to blurt out his highly inadequate apology, she stepped up to him and hugged him tightly. "You're alright…Yokatta. I was worried that Nakago had hurt you badly," she said softly, a genuine, albeit tired, smile on her face. Her actions took him by surprise, but he gratefully returned her embrace, fighting back the tears which were threatening to spill from his eyes. 

He had come to her, ready to grovel at her feet, but she had saved him the effort of saying all those uncomfortable words. She had simply hugged him and he was forgiven. Just like that. In that moment, he knew that he loved her…had always loved her… He knew he would never have a chance with her in the romantic sense, but it didn't really matter to him. She would always be his imouto, his little sister, and he would do anything, _ANYTHING, _to make her happy… 

* * *

They left the inn, finding a secluded place where they could use Chichiri's kasa to take them the rest of the way to Kutou without alarming any of the townsfolk. 

Miaka looked around, a shiver of recognition going through her. Chichiri's powers had transported them right inside the imperial palace, and they had materialised under the large flowering tree in the middle of the palace garden…where she had arranged to meet Tamahome once upon a time, only to find that he had changed…

She gritted her teeth, pushing the memory away. _Iie! I won't think about that. It will be different this time…I'm sure of it. Nakago is on our side now, and everything is going to be fine. _She shot a sidelong glance at the blonde man beside her, feeling somewhat comforted by his presence, although she still wasn't sure where things lay between them. He looked surprisingly unaffected by the previous night's episode with the alcohol, giving no indication that he was suffering from even the slightest of hangovers…nor did he seem angry at her for invading his mind. Unfortunately, it was always hard to tell with Nakago, for all she knew, he could be planning to move to Hawaii and never talk to her ever again.

Her attention was jerked back to the present when she realised that Nakago was speaking.

"We should split up to look for them, and meet back here in an hour," he said with his usual brand of cool logic, giving no hint of any of the emotion she had seen the night before.

Chichiri nodded thoughtfully, agreeing with him, "Miaka will come with me, and Tasuki, you'll go with Nakago—"

"NANI? There is NO WAY I'm goin' anywhere with HIM! I would rather DIE than be bossed around by Blondie!" Tasuki growled, glaring at his arch enemy. He was thankful to Nakago for stopping him from committing a heinous deed, but no one had said anything about being civil to the man…

Nicholas stared at the flame-haired bandit with an air of aloof disdain, "That can be arranged," he drawled calmly, lips twisting into a humourless smirk…And there was just enough of the cold-blooded shogun in Nicholas' icy demeanour to let everyone know that he'd enjoy it.

"Maaa, maaa…" Chichiri waved his hands in a placating gesture, trying to calm everyone down, "Tasuki, you accompany Miaka and check the dungeons…and please try not to burn down anything no da! Nakago and I will search the rooms in the palace. We'll meet back here in one hour no da." 

Tasuki snorted rudely and glared once more at his worst enemy. "Fine," he sneered, showing his fangs. He cracked his knuckles and unsheathed his tessen, but before he could say anything more, he was dragged away by a highly exasperated Miko who had finally lost her patience.

* * *

Nicholas ran a hand irritably through his hair before pressing his fingertips to the bridge of his nose, forcing the hangover-induced headache he had back to a more tolerable level. He was alone, and the Suzaku monk was nowhere to be seen. They had become separated unexpectedly when they'd run into a group of patrolling guards. Being on his own did not really bother him…in fact, he worked a lot better when he did not have to put up with the peanut gallery tagging along. His thoughts went back to what had happened the previous night, when he had inadvertently allowed Miaka to see something he had never intended for her to find out. Contrary to what she believed, he wasn't angry with her, but neither did he need her pity or want her sympathy. He knew she was deeply distressed over what she had seen in his mind, unfortunately, he was not prepared to discuss his innermost thoughts with her, so in truth, he was rather relieved that the Suzaku no Miko and the idiot bandit were off searching somewhere in the dungeons…

He glanced at his watch. Ten more minutes before he had to meet the others at the tree. He'd already checked almost every possible place he could think of, but there was still no sign of Tamahome or the Suzaku no Miko's brother, and he was starting to get annoyed. 

He slipped undetected into the adjoining corridor. The one which led to Seiryuu's shrine.

Standing in front of the imposing double doors of the temple, every muscle in his body went rigid as he sensed a presence inside…a presence he remembered all too well. And it was inside there, waiting for him…beckoning to him. _Damn. Should have known it would not be so easy, _his eyes narrowed as he clenched his fists. He had played right into a very elaborate, very well set trap…one which he had not even seen coming until it was too late. There was only one thing he could do now. Inhaling deeply, Nicholas closed his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired…and made a choice. 

It was a choice he knew he was going to live to regret.

He pushed open the doors in stepped into the shrine, not bothering to hide his presence. Nicholas was sure any attempt to do so would be futile anyway, because whatever was inside the temple already knew he was there…it had probably been watching him since the moment he had arrived in the universe of the four gods.

Entering the inner hall of the temple, he was confronted with the sight of Taka and Keisuke hanging suspended in spheres of shimmering blue energy, but he did not spare them more than a quick glance. Instead, he stared up in silence at the glowing sapphire eyes in the towering golden dragon statue. 

"You." It wasn't a question. 

The dragon's eyes glowed more brightly, and words formed unbidden in his mind.

_Welcome home, my seishi…_

* * *

Miaka, Tasuki and Chichiri were anxiously waiting at the designated meeting place. She and Tasuki had not found anything in the dungeons, and Chichiri had come back with nothing. That left Nakago… As the minutes passed, she began getting more and more worried. _He's late! Where is he! He should have come back by now! _

Without warning, there was a bright flash of light which faded instantly, leaving behind two very familiar forms. Miaka's eyes widened in disbelief, "Tamahome? Oniichan! How…?" she exclaimed, immediately throwing herself at Taka, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him as if she would never let go. _They're safe! Thank god…They're finally back…_

The dark-haired man blinked, looking disoriented, as if he had just woken from a very long sleep, "Miaka?" 

Before she could answer she felt a prickle at the back of her neck. Beside her, Tasuki and Chichiri tensed, dropping into defensive stances. Something inside her urged her to hide, to start running and never look back…Miaka slowly looked up, suddenly very afraid of what she might see.

The translucent form of a handsome man with hair the colour of the sky floated above them, "An exchange has been made," he stated, smiling faintly. He appeared ethereal and unearthly, but there was something unpleasant in the smile. He fixed his eyes on her, and Miaka felt a cold, indefinable sense of dread crawling up her spine, "You have gotten what you have come for, Suzaku no Miko, now you must leave." 

Miaka gathered all the courage she possessed and glared at the stranger, "Exchange! What exchange? Who are you? And where is Nakago?" she demanded angrily. 

The entity did not answer, but the corners of his mouth lifted once more in that eerie, condescending smile; the same way Nakago's did when he was up to something. And then, just as suddenly as he had appeared, the blue -haired man vanished without a trace.

Tasuki was the first to recover, "What the HELL…?"

"Masaka…" Everyone turned to Miaka. All the blood had drained from her face, and she had gone was white as a sheet. She turned to Chichiri, her eyes wide with panic, "That…That was Seiryuu seikun." 

_Exchange…Seiryuu spoke of an exchange…Oh my god—…NAKAGO! NO!_

Everything dropped into place, and in a moment of stunning clarity, she realised that the only reason they had gotten Tamahome and Keisuke back was because of something Nakago had done. _An exchange…_Miaka did not wait for the monk's response. Time was running out. All she knew was that she had to get to Seiryuu's shrine, before something irreversible happened. She had to get to _him_…before it was too late…

She ran, as fast as her legs could carry her; sick with fear and worry. She didn't know where the shrine was located, or how she knew the way to it…but somehow, she finally found herself in front of it. The doors had been thrown open and beyond them, she saw Nakago holding a glass vial, staring contemplatively at it. She started forward, determined to drag him out with her if she had to…

…And slammed straight into an invisible barrier. 

She was thrown back with the force of the impact. This was the sacred shrine of Seiryuu, and she was the Priestess of Suzaku…No one belonging to Suzaku could enter. Fortunately, someone caught her before she could hit the ground. Miaka found herself looking up into Chichiri's concerned face. "We have to get in! Chichiri, please! We can't leave him in there!" 

Her friend nodded without comment, seeing the desperate plea in her eyes and began the incantation of a spell which would disrupt the barrier guarding the shrine. She scrambled to the doorway, going as far as the energy field would allow her. She was just in time to see Nakago lifting the glass vial to his lips and swallowing its contents. 

"NAKAGO NO BAKA!" she screamed, angry tears streaming down her face, almost blinding her, as she pounded her fists against the invisible obstruction. She couldn't afford to lose him, not when they had been through so much together…Not when he meant so much to her. She would not allow another person to be taken away from her! 

Nakago slowly turned his head to look at her, his eyes hard and unreadable. (_You don't belong here, Miaka. Leave.)_ His words echoed in her mind, ominous and final. 

(_NO! NOT WITHOUT YOU!)_ she thought fiercely at him, but to her increasing despair, he gave no indication that he had heard her. He was tuning her out of his thoughts, systematically pushing her out of his mind! (_Nakago! Come back…Don't do this! Onegai…)_ she begged as he turned his back on her and walked further into the shrine.

Abruptly, Chichiri was beside her, thrusting his staff through the doorway, his face set in an expression of intense concentration, beads of sweat trickling down over his forehead.

The barrier crackled…and vanished.

Miaka lunged inside after Nakago, Chichiri directly behind her. _We're going to make it…We have to! I won't lose! Please don't let me lose him…_

They passed through into the inner sanctum of the shrine. A huge golden statue of a dragon with sapphire eyes loomed before them…and in the shadow it cast across the floor, Nakago stood, matching it with his golden hair and blue eyes. He turned around at their sudden appearance, "Go away, Suzaku no Miko," he said harshly, his voice tight with anger.

The next moment, he closed his eyes as an expression of pain flitted across his face. He wavered and sank to his knees, his body trembling violently. He looked up with what seemed to be a great effort, as if he was struggling to keep focused, "Get her out of here. NOW!" he ordered the monk roughly, fixing a stare on Chichiri, his blue eyes fever bright, "Keep her away from me…because the next time I see her…I will kill her." 

He fell forward, slumping to the floor.

"NAKAGO!" Miaka ignored his puzzling words, screaming his name when he collapsed. She broke away from Chichiri, running towards the blonde man she had come to care deeply about, her only concern was to get to him to see that he was all right. However, before she could reach him, blue chi flared around Nakago's still body, the glow increasing in intensity until even the darkest corners of the shrine were illuminated.

Miaka stopped short, gasping with shock and bewilderment. _What's happening! He's…he's gone! _She could see him with her eyes, but she couldn't feel him anymore! She had always been able to feel his presence through their bond, had been able to sense that he was there although she usually came up against his mental shields; but now…he wasn't there anymore. It was like his presence had disappeared; from her mind, from her heart…from her soul. 

The figure on the floor moved, and slowly got to his feet, every movement sinuous and graceful…and unmistakably dangerous. Miaka paled and took a step back in horror as glacial silver-blue eyes flicked up to meet hers, regarding her with cold, unadulterated contempt.

The blue kokoro symbol of Seiryuu shichi seishi Nakago glowed on his forehead. 

Pale lips curved into a thin, malicious smile, "It's nice to see you again…Suzaku no Miko."

* * *

The next few moments passed in a blur for Miaka. Her mind had stopped working, unable to wrap itself around that fact that the blonde man standing before her was no longer the same person who had been protecting her. She only vaguely recalled Chichiri grabbing her and shielding her from a blast of deadly blue chi…from Nakago…from the man she had come to trust unconditionally. The blast had sent both she and her seishi flying backwards to sprawl painfully on the cold marble of the temple floor. After that, she had felt herself being hurriedly shoved through the Chichiri's straw hat…

Suddenly, she was back under the tree in the middle of the palace garden again, with worried faces all around her, staring at her in concern. Somewhere behind her, she heard Tasuki swearing angrily as he took in her bedraggled appearance as well as the scorch marks on both her uniform and Chichiri's clothes, "Shit! What the HELL happened? And where's Blondie?" 

"We need to get out of here immediately no da!" the blue-haired monk said urgently. He knelt beside Miaka, who was huddled on the ground. Her knees were drawn up to her chin, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs. She wasn't crying, but her entire body was shaking like a leaf in a storm. Deathly pale and rapidly going into shock, there was very little anyone could do for her. Chichiri lifted his head, looking up at everyone, "Nakago will not be coming with us," he told them solemnly.

The monk undid the blue cloth slung over his shoulder and spread it on the ground, bidding everybody to step on it. He struck his staff into against the ground, the metal rings rattling loudly at the movement. However, no sooner had he began concentrating on the spell which would teleport them away when his eyes flew open in alarm. "Oh no! He's here!" Chichiri managed to yell a split-second before a ball of chi came out of nowhere, slamming into the tree behind them. The blast shook the entire tree, dislodging leaves and flowers, causing them to rain down on everyone.

"Who's here?" Keisuke questioned, his eyes wide with fear and confusion, his cheek starting to bleed from where a wood splinter had grazed it.

"I am," a familiar deep voice interrupted smoothly. To their left, the air shimmered and Nakago materialised with a glowing ball of chi in his hand; phasing into existence like a ghost. His pale blue eyes swept over the group, before the full weight of his gaze settled on one person in particular, singling her out from among her companions, "Leaving so soon, Suzaku no Miko?" he inquired mockingly, a sardonic smirk hovering over his lips.

Miaka stared numbly at him. She did not move, either unable or unwilling to defend herself, not even when he extended his hand and launched the chi-blast at her…

Taka threw himself in Miaka's direction, the action instinctive; the need to protect her overriding everything else. He collided with her, knocking her to the ground and out of the line of fire; his body on top of hers, trying to shield her. The blue chi streaked over their heads, missing its intended target. Unfortunately, a second blast came immediately after the first, catching him squarely in the back, the powerful energy searing into his flesh. He gritted his teeth in defiance, refusing cry out or let himself black out from the pain.

The next instant, Tasuki was standing over them, deflecting the blonde Seiryuu seishi's attacks with his tessen. The bandit's face was twisted in murderous fury, all of it directed at Nakago. He snarled something and sent a huge wave of flame towards his opponent, as Chichiri hastily began the incantation to get them to safety…They did not have very much time before Nakago cut off their only route of escape. Nakago's power was increasing to its full deadly extent with every passing moment, and soon, he would be powerful enough to be able to seal their Suzaku given powers with a chi binding spell. Once that happened, he would not have much trouble killing them. Even now, Chichiri could feel the blonde man's power closing around his own, trying to stop them…

The surroundings began to fade; the trees and plants around them dissolving into a white mist…The last they saw of Kutou was the sight of Nicholas standing calmly behind the blue shimmer of a powerful psychic barrier, completely untouched by Tasuki's flame; watching them expressionlessly as they sank through Chichiri's kesa... 

…While all around him, the palace garden burned. 

* * *

Notes:

1) And just when you thought things were finally going to be OK...Blinks innocently Well…isn't this great? Nakago's back to the wonderful evil self which we all know and love (to hate)! I felt that Nicholas was becoming a bit too predictable, so I decided to make things a little difficult for him by giving a taste of his own medicine! (Ducks rotten eggs and tomatoes at the really lame pun). For the purposes of this story, Kodoku is fabulous stuff…

2) HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 


	17. The Mirror Has Two Faces

**Chapter 17: The Mirror Has Two Faces**

She sat listlessly in her brother's gentle embrace, feeling drained and empty. Her grief had long spent itself, and there were no more tears left for her to cry. So many people had been taken from her, so many friends lost…her heart could not take much more abuse. _Naze? I don't understand…_"Why?" she whispered brokenly, the single word almost inaudible. 

Keisuke looked helplessly at Chichiri and Tasuki, desperately wanting to comfort his sister, but not knowing what to say. Even he could feel the raw intensity of Miaka's pain…had held her as she had cried inconsolably, her sobs wracking her body until her voice was hoarse and nearly gone. He stared down at the top of her head, trying his best to offer comfort to her for something he did not really understand. He had only a vague idea as to what had happened…all he knew was that he and Taka had been released from whatever it was which had imprisoned them, thanks to Nicholas. _But why did he suddenly turn on us? Why did he try to hurt her? _he wondered in bewilderment. 

"I think I know what happened, no da," Chichiri suddenly said quietly. 

The flame-haired bandit who was leaning against a nearby wall glared at his fellow seishi through the orange curtain of hair which had fallen over his eyes, "Yeah, ya don't have'ta point it out. We all realise that Blondie tried to kill us! Again!" he spat angrily. _I knew we couldn't trust him, bloody Seiryuu bastard, _but he did not say it out loud, reluctant to cause Miaka more anguish. She was fiercely loyal to the people she cared about, and no matter how much Tasuki disapproved of her choice of friends, he knew that his miko had regarded Nakago as such…she shared a _soul bond _with the man for heaven's sake! 

Chichiri sighed, "That's not what I meant no da, and Nakago did save Tamahome and Keisuke." He took off his mask, revealing his scarred face and stared at both Tasuki and Keisuke with his good eye before moving to crouch next to Miaka. He touched her shoulder lightly to get her attention, resisting the urge to look away when she turned red, swollen eyes to him. "Miaka," he began gently, "Do you remember what happened to Tamahome the last time he was kidnapped by Kutou?"

She stared blankly at the blue-haired monk for a moment, her mind struggling to process what he was saying, "He changed…He didn't remember me…us…and tried to—" Her eyes abruptly widened as the memory of Nakago lifting the glass vial to his lips flashed through her mind, "Kodoku…" she managed in a thin, grief-stricken whisper. "It must have been in the glass vial…we saw Nakago taking it…" 

The blue-haired monk nodded grimly, "He probably had no choice. It must have been one of the terms of the exchange. Nakago would certainly have known, better than anyone, how Kodoku would affect a person…He knew what he would become." Chichiri turned his head to level a meaningful look at Tasuki, "He tried to warn us…told us to leave before it happened no da." 

Tasuki let out a derisive snort, "You're sayin' he tried to protect you from himself or somethin'? How considerate of 'im," he muttered sarcastically, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "So what? Now all that matters is that we've got a freakin' psychopath with no conscience on our hands! And in case you've forgotten, he WANTS TO KILL US!" 

Keisuke listened to the conversation, feeling Miaka trembling against him. He hated to see her like that. She looked so lost and distraught, like her heart had been broken and the entire world had been ripped out from under her feet. It was obvious that she had cared a great deal for Nicholas…_Perhaps more than she would be willing to admit to anyone…even to herself. _He had a theory concerning her feelings for the blonde man, but decided to keep his suspicions to himself. Instead, he cleared his throat nervously and addressed the question foremost in his mind, "Isn't there something that can be done? To turn him back?"

Both the Suzaku seishi fell silent. Miaka slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze, her eyes dull and empty. All the light had gone out of them, and they appeared almost black; making her look like a delicate porcelain doll…pale, fragile and lifeless.

"No," Chichiri said softly, sparing her the pain of answering. "Kodoku has no cure…" he told Keisuke, shaking his head sadly, "Not this time, no da." 

* * *

She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling above the bed, as she had been doing for the past few hours. As ceilings went, this one was quite ordinary…not that it mattered to her anyway. She had been looking at it, but had not truly seen it, or anything else in Taiitsukun's palace since they had arrived. Someone had set a tray of food on the table nearby quite a while ago, but it remained untouched…she just wasn't hungry.

_I can't believe he's really gone…_

"Miaka? Miaka…daijoubu?" A voice intruded in on her reverie. "Please say something…"

She slowly turned her head to the source of the sound, not really hearing the words. She was so tired, and even the small movement was exhausting. People kept coming in to check on her…why wouldn't they leave her alone? She struggled to focus her eyes on the person beside her now, dark hair…_not blonde…never blonde…_

"Tama…home…?" she whispered faintly. A small part of her wondered how long he had been standing there before she had finally heard him. An even smaller part somehow managed to feel a twinge of guilt for the fact that she had not even spared thought for him for the last few hours. After all, he had been injured protecting her…had taken the full brunt of Nakago's attack which had been meant for her. 

Twilight eyes regarded her seriously, "You need to eat something, Miaka," he said, a gentle reprimand in his voice. 

Miaka stared at him, hearing the concern in his tone. Her eyes would have filled with tears if she had been able to cry…but she couldn't. Not now. She had no more tears left. _I love Tamahome so much…I should be happy that he's back…I should be glad…_Suddenly, she was almost thankful that she wasn't able to weep. _It would be unfair to Tamahome if I grieved when I should be happy at his safe return…_She could not do that to him; should not make everyone else suffer along with her…

She forced herself to sit up; to start interacting once again with the people who cared for her. "What about you? You're injured…" her voice sounded strange to her, as if she was listening to someone else speaking. 

Taka smiled, "The Nyan-Nyans fixed me up," he tried to sound cheerful, giving an exaggerated mock shudder, "But those little girls are a bit scary…" he said with an awkward shrug. Not getting the smile he had expected from her, he seated himself on the bed close to her. Moving cautiously so as not to startle her, he slowly put his arms around her shoulders, giving her plenty of time to pull away from him if she wished. When she did not, he drew her into a tender embrace. 

For the first time in hours, Miaka felt the icy chill which had enveloped her recede slightly. It had been so long since she had last been in Tamahome's arms…she had almost forgotten how warm and comforting it felt to be held by him. She buried her face in his chest, clinging on to him as he wordlessly rocked her like he would a small child.

After what seemed like an eternity, she felt him pulling back. She did not want him to leave her…did not want to be alone again. She looked up, only to feel his warm gaze on her as his dark violet eyes studied her, searching her face. She felt him tentatively stroke the curve of her cheek, and she let out a small sigh, leaning into the caress. Encouraged by her response, he dipped his head slightly, gently touching his lips to hers. 

Tamahome…

How she had missed him. Miaka closed her eyes, allowing herself to drown in the sensation as he carefully deepened the kiss, his mouth firm and warm against hers. _This is what it feels like to be loved and wanted, cherished…_She felt like she was floating, surrounded by his scent, the feel of his body, everything that together made up Tamahome… _If only this could last forever…_

To her disappointment, the kiss ended all too soon, but before she could protest, he had moved to press another to the sensitive skin of her throat, right over her pulse point. Tamahome's hand slid over her own, lacing their fingers together as he eased her back down to lie on the bed. He leaned over her, brushing his lips soothingly over first one closed eyelid, then the other, causing Miaka to whimper softly as she began to tremble from the strange need he was arousing in her. 

She tensed, when she felt him slowly undoing the top button of her uniform, then the next, moving lower…trailing kisses over her skin as it was exposed…

She had dreamed about this moment many times in the past, when they had been apart and she hadn't been sure if she would ever see him again; when she had missed him so badly during all those long lonely nights…

She had always wanted to be with Tamahome like this. She wanted this…didn't she?

Didn't she…? 

Happy to have Tamahome back, glad to be with him…but…

…At what cost? 

a tiny voice at the back of her mind questioned insistently.

Abruptly, she sat up, her hands pushing him away with something which came very close to panic. She scrambled off the bed; in her haste, her legs got tangled in the sheets, and she almost ended up in a heap on the floor by the bed. Stumbling free, she found that she could not summon the courage to meet his eyes, and remained with her back to him. "Tamahome…I…I'm s-sorry. I…c-can't. Not now…not when Nakago is—" her voice cracked and she almost choked on the difficult words. Wrapping her arms herself as if trying to ward off a chill, she stared at the ground in shame, unable to continue speaking.

"It's always about him, isn't it?" Taka's voice was bitter, sharp with the hard edge of jealousy. "He tried to kill you, Miaka! He tried to kill all of us! He isn't the same person anymore!" 

She flinched visibly at his words, leading him to realise how harshly he had spoken to her. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down before trying again in a more reasonable tone, "Gomen nasai. Please understand, Miaka…I am grateful to him for getting me out but I would not be able to stand seeing him hurt you. You have to let him go," he implored. 

Miaka felt her heart tear further, as if it was being pulled in two opposite directions. _Why does this have to end this way? _"But…" 

He stood up, coming to stand behind her. Although he did not make any attempt to touch her, she could feel his presence acutely at her back. "We should try to find a way home and leave before anyone else gets hurt. The others told me that Taiitsukun might be able to send us back to our world."

She stiffened, feeling as though someone had emptied a bucket of cold water over her. Suddenly, she was angry...no, not merely angry; she was furious. She spun around to confront him, "How could you even suggest such a thing! You're asking me to leave him behind in this world? I won't! He is my friend, he got sent here in the first place because of me, and I _will not_ leave him behind! I will find some way to bring him back to himself! Whatever it takes! I owe it to him!" she said fiercely with an expression of stubborn determination on her face.

Taka grabbed her wrist, his violet eyes almost seeming to glow for an instant; something strange and dangerous flashing through them. When he spoke, his voice was low and threatening, "Listen to me! Nakago isn't your friend. He will never ever be your friend again. If I didn't know any better, I would say that the scheming bastard planned all this right from the start so that he could get his powers back! He is not in enemy hands, Miaka…he IS the enemy!"

She looked at him in disbelief for a split-second…

Then she slapped him.

His head was jerked to one side as the hard blow connected with his face. Wrenching her arm out of his grasp, Miaka glared at her beloved, her small hands balling into tight fists, "Don't you DARE say that about him! DON'T YOU DARE! He SAVED you!" she hissed through clenched teeth, her eyes narrowing into angry slits.

Before he could stop her, she was already halfway across the room. 

"Miaka!"

She paused in the open doorway, but did not turn back to look at him. "Out of everyone, Tamahome… you were the last person I had expected to be so insensitive," she said quietly, but somehow, her voice seemed to carry, echoing in the room, giving the illusion that the words had come from someone else…a different person altogether. Someone stronger and older…

The door slammed shut behind her.

* * *

She wandered aimlessly through the halls of Taiitsukun's palace, not knowing where she was headed and not really caring. She wanted to get as far away from her room as possible…from Tamahome. _Why doesn't he understand that we can't just leave Nakago behind! How could he be so selfish? _she fumed, bristling with righteous fury, still angry at him for even trying to convince her to abandon a friend just like that. 

"…Love is such a useless emotion…" the speaker made a sound of disgust, "It makes people weak." 

She stopped on her tracks in the hallway outside the shadowed room, horrified at what she was overhearing. That was…that was Tamahome's voice!…But with a tone of disdain she had never heard from him before. She carefully approached the open door as stealthily as she could, trying her best to avoid being detected. _It can't be Tamahome! It just can't! I left him back there in my room! _There was no way he could have made it to this room ahead of her…was there? Her heart sank when she peered into the room and saw that it was indeed Tamahome who was inside. _Tamahome…why are you saying all these things? How could you be so cold and heartless? _

"End this meaningless charade. Release him." 

With a start, Miaka recognised the other voice as well as the being it belonged to…a slender, red-haired man. It was none other than Suzaku seikun. _What's going on? Why is—_

Taka chuckled, "I am rather enjoying this. All this is allowing me to truly appreciate how weak your people really are." He smiled pleasantly. Tamahome's smile. Miaka felt her heart twisting at the sight of it, shattering at his cruel words. How he could stand there in front of Suzaku and say all those hurtful things? How could someone so mean be the same person she had fallen in love with…?

"Release him," Suzaku repeated flatly. Golden eyes narrowed dangerously at Taka.

The dark-haired man shrugged insolently, "You have absolutely no sense of humour," a corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk. Abruptly, his body seemed to blur for an instant…then collapsed bonelessly to the floor, unconscious. In the place where he had stood just seconds before, a blue-haired man had materialised. He glanced indifferently down at the limp body at his feet before returning his gaze to Suzaku, "No need to get your feathers ruffled. He has not been harmed. His resentment and jealousy made him the perfect vessel. I was doing this pathetic mortal a favour; deep down, a dark part of him wanted this…It amused me to help him obtain his petty human desire."

Tilting his head slightly, his features seemed to smooth over, the handsome face falling into perfect, expressionless lines. "I almost succeeded in uniting with the dear Suzaku no Miko using his body. It was a pity that she was so stubborn." 

_Seiryuu, in Tamahome's body…and I almost let him…we almost…_her stomach turned over and Miaka clamped a hand over her mouth, convinced that she was about to be violently sick.

Suzaku remained motionless, "You risk upsetting the balance of fate by meddling in human affairs. You had no right doing this to my seishi and my Miko…or even to Nakago—"

"I saw an opportunity. I took it," the terrifyingly familiar voice—one which she had heard just hours before—stated arrogantly. "The current emperor of Kutou is loyal to me, but the plan to conquer your pathetic little kingdom by poisoning its empress was all his own doing…All I did in the grand scheme of things was to give Nakago his memories, so that he would recognise and remember your miko when they met again in her world. It ensured that he would be by her side when she was absorbed back into the Shijintenchisho. With Konan under threat, I knew your miko would be unable to resist coming back to help, out of some misguided sense of loyalty." The blue-haired god smiled coldly, "The soul bond they shared had already made things laughably easy by leading him to her. That, my dear brother, I have you to thank for." 

Miaka froze, her heart beginning to pound and her face paling at Seiryuu's words. This was the reason why Nakago had all his memories but not Tamahome? _It was a trap…right from the start...? IIE! Chigau…It cannot be! I refuse to believe it to be so!_

"And this 'exchange'?" Suzaku questioned quietly without emotion, "You left him with no choice." 

Seiryuu did not even blink at the accusation, "It was a fair and reasonable exchange. Him, for two of them. Nakago came back to me willingly."

"The condition of this so-called 'exchange' of yours was that he had to take Kodoku. You brainwashed him with a powerful mind-altering drug…That hardly constitutes 'willingly'." The phoenix god was getting angry, and he allowed some of the anger to creep into his tone.

His dragon counterpart shrugged casually, "A small technicality. Emotions have made him weak. I merely remedied the situation."

Suzaku stared at the other god in distaste, mouth set in a thin, hard line, "You interfered in the mortal realm… Allowed Kutou to try and instigate a war with Konan…all this, just to get one of your seishi back?" It was more a statement of fact than a question. 

"My most powerful seishi," Seiryuu corrected calmly, "He is far stronger than any of yours…and Nakago has always been my favourite." He paused slightly, the timbre of his voice lowering as he issued a warning, "This business is none of your concern. I suggest you keep your people out of this, Suzaku…if you do not wish them to get hurt." 

Without warning, he turned the head of his human form to stare straight at Miaka, who was standing shock-still just outside the doorway, although he continued addressing Suzaku, "One more thing…In case you decided to try and interfere, a spell has been placed on the Kodoku drug that Nakago took. Even I cannot reverse it. The only way to break its influence would be for him to kill your precious little miko." A slow, reptilian smile spread across the dragon god's face before he vanished in a swirl of shimmering blue mist. 

Miaka stumbled backwards, allowing the back of her head to hit the wall behind her with a loud thud before she slid down to the floor; burying her face in her hands, "Can't you help Nakago? Is there nothing you can do?" she beseeched her god.

Suzaku fixed her with compassionate and sympathetic golden eyes, as she heard a soft voice in her mind, _I cannot undo what another god has done, unless I am summoned and the one summoning me wishes it to be so. I am sorry, my Miko._

There was a flash of bright red light, and he was gone.

* * *

She slowly knelt beside Taka's unconscious form, feeling guilty for having been angry at him. None of it had been his fault. _Seiryuu had been controlling his body…_It scared her, that the dragon god had been convincing enough to fool her, and that she was gullible enough to have been so easily tricked. _I couldn't even tell the difference…I'm supposed to love Tamahome! I am supposed to know him! And I couldn't_ _even tell the difference! _she thought in despair. What would have happened, if she had not pushed him away? She balked at the thought and shoved it back into the recesses of her mind, not wanting to face the obvious answer.

She carefully brushed the dark hair from his forehead, her eyes sad, "Gomen nasai, Tamahome. Forgive me…for ever doubting you." It would be a while before he recovered consciousness. Physically, he was unhurt, but Seiryuu had drained all his energy when he had possessed Tamahome's body.

Miaka rose to her feet. She needed to sort out her thoughts. Alone. 

* * *

She walked blindly into one of the great halls of Taiitsukun's palace with Suzaku's words echoing over and over again in her mind; abruptly coming to a stop in the middle of the vast room before she realised where she was. 

All round her, were mirrors, reflecting back at her. Miaka cautiously ventured further into the deserted hall, passing in front of a multitude of mirrors of all shapes and sizes, most of them in ornate gold frames. There was a strange feeling overtaking her, and she felt as if there something drawing her to one mirror in particular at the far end of the hall…an invisible force urging her closer, until at last, she stood in front of it.

Compared to the others, it did not look impressive at all. Plain and unadorned at first glance, it did not even have a frame of any sort. However, on closer inspection, she found that there was intricate artwork etched onto the glass itself; the individual strands in the flowing design twining together to form an exquisite pattern, creating a border all around the edges of the mirror. Yet, as beautiful as it was, it seemed to be just another mirror, reflecting her image. Miaka's eyebrows drew together in a frown. It _looked _ordinary enough, but…She tentatively reached out to touch the smooth surface. 

The moment her skin came into contact with the cool glass…she let out a gasp of surprise. The clear, shiny surface clouded over, until she was no longer able to see her own reflection. Just as suddenly, the swirling mist cleared…and she found that she was no longer looking at herself, but at an image of Kutou. 

The imperial palace. The place where everything had fallen apart.

_Nakago…_

Somehow, she knew that this was the one chance she had. _This mirror…_Miaka stared into it, feeling a surge of renewed determination as new possibilities flooded into her mind at her discovery. The glass felt solid under her fingertips, but if she could—…She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, concentrating all her willpower into one single moment in time, putting all other thoughts out of her mind and allowing herself to believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that she could do this…She recalled that when she had been a little girl, her mother had always told her that she could make anything happen if she just believed…

_To believe in myself…_

The hall was bathed in a pure red glow emanating from her. _I am the Priestess of Suzaku, and I'm not going to give up without a fight, _she vowed silently, her face set in resolve.She was going back, no matter what anyone else said. _If Nuriko was here, he would say that I was crazy and stupid. Then he'd offer to come with me to help 'kick Nakago's butt', _she smiled grimly at the thought. Tasuki was going to be furious when he found out what she had done, Chichiri and Tamahome would be distressed, and her brother was probably going to have a heart attack. _I'm sorry minna…but this is something I have to do. I could never forgive myself if I didn't at least try. _

She stepped through the mirror.

Its surface rippled like water at her passage, then solidified back into its original state…and the hall was dark and deserted once more.

* * *

Notes:

1) This has to do with Nakago, and is a query a few people have raised. Kodoku does not revert a person to his _past _self, rather, it brainwashes the victim, making him susceptible to outside control. Nakago's memories of being friends with Miaka have been erased or repressed and from his current point of view, the Suzaku no Miko is still his enemy. 

2) If Taka seemed a little out of character in the "bedroom" scene, it was because everything that 'Taka' does to Miaka is really Seiryuu (who's having fun doing a little play-acting)! The dragon god possessed Taka's body and was using it to wreak havoc among the Suzaku team and convince Miaka to forget about Nakago... 

3) And yes, the new emperor of Kutou is an evil, power-hungry megalomaniac who was behind the plot to conquer Konan by poisoning Houki (the whole conspiracy with the treacherous royal advisor and Hotohori's half-brother, remember?) right at the beginning of this story. (It seems that when Nakago killed the former emperor, and ordered his men to kill the ministers and royal family in the anime, they missed out someone. This emperor must be the one that got away…! Bummer. ) Seiryuu knew that Miaka would come back into the book to help Houki and took advantage of the situation by making sure that Nakago would be with her…and so the reason why Nakago has his memories is finally answered… O.O 


	18. Sunsets

**Chapter 18: Sunsets**

Nakago was not a person to be trifled with on any given day…and especially not today. In addition to being plagued with a persistent headache that showed no signs of letting up in the near future, he had been stuck in an audience with the emperor and the ministers for the past several hours…which had only served to intensify the aforementioned ailment and—in direct relation to such a development— exponentially worsen his mood.

Fools. He had listened to them prattling on and on about conquering Konan for as long as he could tolerate, and then had promptly excused himself from their presence at the first opportunity he'd gotten. Ignorance was bliss, which was fortunate for them, because they'd had no idea that he had been about five seconds from "accidentally" vaporising the whole lot of them with his chi. Though it would have been no great loss if I had, he thought acidly. He had little interest in their talk of politics and military matters, not at the moment, when he had more immediate concerns…

Like the Suzaku no Miko.

He kept seeing her in his mind; her image popping up at the most unexpected times…and always accompanied by a searing pain in his skull. What was wrong with him? Had that girl and her seishi cast a spell on him in an attempt to make him suffer? Personally, he doubted they had enough power or had the deviousness to use such an underhanded tactic, but he chose not to discount the possibility. 

Savagely pressing his fingertips to the pressure points at the sides of his face, he forcefully willed the headache to subside and resolved to find a way to put an end to the problem. It wasn't that he was unable to function, it was just that the pain was…inconvenient. 

Abruptly, he looked up towards the palace gardens as his enhanced senses registered a familiar presence. _Just the person I wanted to see…_A thin smile slowly made its way across his face when he recognised the unique power signature. _Speak of the miko, and she shall appear…And what better way to solve a problem than by eradicating its source? _Perhaps this annoying headache would go away once he had dealt with her, and maybe then, the visions of hazel eyes, so large in such a delicate pixie-like face, would stop haunting him…

The Emperor of Kutou's petty ambitions could wait. Right now, Nakago had more important things to do, like going to greet this most unexpected guest. 

* * *

Chichiri met Tasuki in front of Miaka's room. They had been first alerted to the fact that something was very wrong when they had both felt a jolt of power strong enough to wake the dead. The feel of it had been unmistakable. It had been the force of Miaka's chi…amplified about ten times over. 

The bandit kicked at the door in frustration, "Shit!" he exploded, "She's gone! That little BAKA! Always running off on her own like that!"

"I was afraid this would happen," the blue-haired Suzaku monk said softly, his hand tightening around his staff with his increasing worry, "And I think I know where she went no da." 

He listened to the sound of Tasuki's fluent swearing which was vehement enough to have wilted a flower and turned a cow barren. His fellow seishi had an impressive vocabulary of profanities, but to use them all in one breath…now that took real talent. Nevertheless, for once, Chichiri completely agreed with his fellow seishi's sentiments. 

* * *

Miaka stood under the flowering tree in the middle of the palace gardens. The mirror had brought her back here. Somehow, it failed to surprise her that she always returned to this place to be hurt over and over again. She shook her head, pushing the bitter thoughts away and lifted her face to watch the flower petals drifting down around her. In the west, the sun was beginning to set, and she wondered if Nakago was watching it as well from somewhere nearby.

She knew that all she had to do was to remain here until he deigned to show up. It would not be a long wait…she was sure he would have sensed her presence by now. _If I could just talk to him… maybe he would remember. He's strong enough to fight the kodoku by himself, I don't care what Seiryuu said! I just need to get through to the real Nakago. I know he's still inside there, somewhere… he has to be…_

"Hello, Suzaku no Miko."

She jumped violently when his voice sounded directly behind her. Nakago's sudden appearance had startled her, even though she had been expecting it. Miaka spun around and discovered that he was no more than a few feet away, regarding her with an intense silver-blue stare which seemed to burn into her soul. It did not escape her notice that he was wearing the same armour which he used to wear so long ago, when they had still been fighting each other. The polished silver of the dragon-claw epaulet gleamed, partially hidden under a blue cloak draped over his shoulders. 

He looked as dangerous now as he did back then…

"You are either very brave or very stupid, returning here alone," he remarked conversationally, his lips lifting slightly in a deceptively welcoming smile. "I'm touched that you came back…Did you miss me?" he asked smoothly, as he approached her with precise, measured steps; moving with the grace of a large jungle cat and making no sound despite the heavy armour. 

This version of Nakago was not exactly a petting zoo—well, maybe an _evil _petting zoo_…_he had seemed intent on killing her (or at the very least, maiming her) on their last meeting—and it was not a good idea to get too close to him. Every warning bell in her head was going off, but she clamped down on the urge to back away, bravely standing her ground and steadfastly refusing to let herself be intimidated by him. _At least he didn't try to kill me on sight this time. That's a start! There's still hope! _she consoled herself, sending a quick prayer of thanks to whatever god which watched over fools and children (thus she considered herself doubly blessed). "You're not yourself…You've been poisoned with Kodoku! Nakago, this isn't who you are!" she quickly blurted out, mentally willing him to understand, trying to reach him with her words…

"Really? I feel perfectly fine. You must be mistaken, my dear Miko," he stated calmly, his hand reaching out to close loosely around her throat; fingertips idly stroking over the soft, quivering flesh. The touch was gentle, but at the same time letting her know that he could choke the life out of her before she even realised what was happening.

She bit back a sob of frustration at his casual dismissal. He was hearing her, but he wasn't truly listening! She could tell that he was not taking her seriously. _Dammit Nakago! Listen to me!_

Nakago nudged her head up with his free hand, so that she was forced to look straight into his silver-blue eyes. They were so utterly beautiful, so mesmerising…and so entirely devoid of any emotion or humanity. "I could kill you with a thought if I wanted to." Pitched low and intimate, his deep voice caressed her senses, causing a tingling feeling to sweep across her body. The hand around her throat tightened ever so slightly; not enough to hurt her, but just enough to emphasise his words…Despite the dire circumstances; despite knowing the kind of person he had become, the sensations he invoked in her were…enticing…And it terrified her, that she should feel this way. 

Miaka did her best to ignore the weird jangles his touch was sending through her system and stood absolutely still in his grasp, completely at his mercy. [_Please Nakago…you have to try to fight this…Don't you remember what we've been through together?_ she thought at him, sending her plea through the psychic link which they had once shared, desperately clinging to the small chance that he might still be able to hear her. 

Unfortunately, only an echoing silence answered her. As before, there was no one on the other end. If indeed, he had even an inkling of what she had said through their bond, he was choosing to ignore it. Her eyes filled with tears as she fought the disappointment which was threatening to overwhelm her. The optimism which she had always held on to buckled under the crushing weight of defeat…

"We were friends…" she whispered brokenly, not caring that her words sounded nothing short of pitiful. 

He arched one perfect blonde eyebrow at her and chuckled softly in amusement, "What are you talking about, Suzaku no Miko? I'm your enemy." His ice-blue eyes stared unblinkingly into her hazel ones, "And as for friends…" He leaned over until his face was level with hers, unhurriedly closing the few inches between them as if they had all the time in the world. There was nowhere for her to escape to; impossible for her to turn away…she did not even dare to breathe as he leisurely brushed a light, lingering kiss across her mouth, "…I don't have any." 

His actions were sensual and almost affectionate, but Miaka knew that Nakago was playing his twisted mind games with her…frightening her with seductively whispered threats one moment and taunting her with dark, unspoken promises of wicked pleasure beyond her wildest dreams the next; toying with her like a cat does with a mouse. 

Suddenly, he straightened and stepped away from her, "Your caretakers are here at last. I was wondering when they were going to come for you," he said evenly, handsome features going from tolerantly amused to impassive in the blink of an eye. He had barely finished speaking when the ground a short distance away began to glow; the light increasing in intensity until it formed a portal from which Chichiri and Tasuki emerged.

Tasuki glared venomously at Nakago for a split-second before swinging his tessen and letting out a battle cry, "DIE! REKKA SHINEN!" 

Nothing happened. 

No flame came out of his tessen, not even a puff of smoke. The bandit spat out a curse, realising immediately what had happened. Nakago had sealed their powers with a chi-binding spell the moment they had arrived. His weapon was useless, but the fight was not over just yet. _It worked once. No reason why it shouldn't work again…especially since that lightning witch ain't around no more to block it for him! _Almost faster than humanly possible, Tasuki whipped a dagger out from its hidden sheath and hurled it at Nakago using every ounce of strength and skill he had; watching in satisfaction as a faint look of surprise flickered across the blonde Seiryuu seishi's face as the weapon flew unerringly towards its target…

Miaka screamed.

There was absolutely no way the dagger would miss, unless…

Everything stopped. The dagger hung motionless in mid-air, the blade no more than a hand's-breadth from Nakago's face. The kokoro symbol glowed a brilliant blue on his forehead as his lips slowly curved into a thin, humourless smirk. He eyed the small weapon critically, appearing to inspect it before casually reaching up to pluck it out of the air. 

She did not think before she acted, and she supposed it was one of the inherent failings which always got her into trouble…but it wasn't as if she really had a choice. If Nakago made any move to throw the knife back at her seishi…Tasuki would surely die. Miaka was certain of it. She could not allow it to happen. _No more! Stop it! _She lunged forward, recklessly throwing herself at the blonde shogun, intent only on one thing. _Yamete…onegai…_She wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly from behind. Resting her cheek against his back, tears ran down her face to soak into the heavy fabric of his cloak, "Yamete…Please don't do this. This isn't who you are…" she begged hoarsely.

Nakago froze at the feel of the Suzaku no Miko plastering herself against his body and locking her frail arms around him as though she believed that she could hold him back with whatever little strength she possessed. 

The next instant, he was gone from her embrace, and she stumbled forward as she found herself clutching at empty air. A heartbeat later, even before she had taken more than two steps, Miaka let out a strangled whimper as he reappeared behind her with his arm around her neck. The cold, unyielding metal of his wrist-guard pressed against her windpipe hard enough to bruise her throat and cut off her air. 

She did not try to struggle. In that moment, Seiryuu's words came back to her, (**_The only way to break its influence would be for him to kill your precious little miko…)_** The solution to the problem had been right under her nose all along. The prophecy had to be fulfilled…there was no other way. She almost smiled. If that was all it took…then so be it. 

She knew she had to move fast, before either Tasuki or Chichiri attacked Nakago again…and before anyone could stop her. 

Miaka grabbed Nakago's hand—the one still holding Tasuki's dagger—with both of her own…and viciously yanked it towards her body; her action so unexpected that he did not even have a chance to counter her. _I wish things could have been different…_Vaguely, she heard the shocked gasp from Chichiri and the howl of anguish of Tasuki. A single thought formed in her mind through the searing, white-hot pain as the blade plunged into her abdomen, _This time, I will be the one who will make the sacrifice…_

* * *

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Yui screamed, as the damning words appeared relentlessly on the pages of the Shijintenchisho. She slid off the chair and collapsed onto the floor, tears pouring from her eyes as she screamed over and over again. _I'm the Seiryuu no Miko and yet…and yet…I'm so useless, I can't even save my best friend! Why did this have to happen! Why?_

Tetsuya mechanically sat down heavily beside her, his face pale from shock and disbelief. "This can't be happening…" he whispered his own eyes brimming with the tears he was trying to hold back. Slowly, he wrapped shaking arms around the trembling girl, pulling her unresisting body towards his own and holding her close.

Yui muffled her cries in his chest and wept into his jacket as they clung to each other like two storm-tossed sailors. Her best friend was going to die, and there wasn't anything either of them could do about it. Tetsuya closed his eyes in silent anguish, a part of him unrealistically hoping that Keisuke would never have to find out about his sister.

He had never thought that life could be so cruel…until now.

* * *

Nicholas was jolted back into awareness, the transition so abrupt that he was disoriented for a moment. He felt the weight of someone against him and a strange, slick wetness on his hand…

His blinked, suddenly finding himself staring down at Miaka's russet hair…

Vague surprise turned into horror when it dawned upon him that he was holding her up by the throat, his armoured forearm jammed mercilessly against her windpipe. His other hand was—…it was clasped tightly between both of hers, and he knew, with sick certainty, that his fingers were still wrapped around the dagger which was embedded almost to the hilt in her body. Blood ran down over the exposed metal of the blade and over her delicate hands as well as his own; staining them a bright red, before dripping off the end of the handle to splatter on the ground. 

_Gods…No…_

He reflexively released his choke-hold on her and she coughed convulsively, sagging weakly against him as her legs failed to support her. He immediately caught her again and gently lowered her to the ground, handling her with the same care as if she was made of brittle glass. She was trembling with pain and massive blood loss, her breathing coming in uneven, laboured gasps. 

She looked up at him with luminous hazel eyes which were bright with pain, appearing unnaturally large in her pale, thin face. "Nakago…I'm so glad…you're okay again. I could not bear it…if we…if we went back to…being enemies…" she whispered painfully, giving him a small, faltering smile and forcing the words out past her bruised throat with the last of her strength. There were black spots dancing in front of her eyes, and they were beginning to encompass her vision. The pain was slowly fading into a dull, distant throb and her eyelids felt very heavy. _So tired…cold…_

Nicholas was not prepared for the feeling of helplessness that gripped him. For the first time in his life, he was at a complete loss as to what to do. Her life was slipping away right before his eyes; the ground under her becoming discoloured with the rapidly spreading pool of dark red…

Surely there must be something that could be done. Surely…surely there was something he could do to save her, buy her time, anything…even as he searched for options, her eyes drooped shut and a thin trickle of blood seeped down from the corner of her mouth.

There was a time when he had tried to kill her, and would not have batted an eyelid if she did die. In fact, he would have been glad to be rid of her. That was followed by a time when they had embarked on the quest to stop an evil deity and he had been forced to protect her in order to honour a promise. Then, he had continued to protect her even after his debt had been repaid, because he had _wanted _to…had somehow felt _compelled _to, although he could not have said why. And now, it seemed that an immense cosmic joke was being played with both their lives. Things had finally come round full-circle, and the Suzaku no Miko was now dying by his hand. Fate always did have a twisted sense of irony.

He clenched his fists, struggling _not_ to show any emotion, fighting _not _to show how truly afraid he was…_No! _He wasn't going to let her die on him until he gave the impulsive little idiot a good, stern lecture about following orders. He refused to accept that it was over, because…Because she did not deserve this fate, no matter how clumsy and naïve and exceedingly _stupid_ she was. She had made the ultimate sacrifice to free him from the Kodoku's influence, coming back for him even after he had _ordered_ her to leave and never return… 

…Because she was irreplaceable. Cheerful, brave, forgiving, loyal…She was loved by so many people and there was no one else like her…

…Because even though she was annoying at times, he genuinely cared for her and would miss her if she was gone…

…Because they shared a soul bond and she held a part of his soul the same way he held a part of hers…

…Because he had lost the ability to stand idly by and watch her die the moment he had saved her life that very first time…

…Because of any one of a hundred _thousand _different reasons…

And because, after all they had been through together and all the time he had spent with her, he had finally come to realise that—…Nicholas pushed the thought aside before it could be completed; forcing his mind into a state of absolute focused calm and ruthlessly shutting out awareness of everything around him except Miaka; until the entire universe narrowed down to contain just him and her…

Tasuki and Chichiri watched in frozen horror as their Miko lay bleeding on the ground, dying in the arms of a man whom they had considered an enemy…Everything seemed so unreal, and they stood rooted to the spot as the nightmare unfolded; still unable to bring themselves to believe what she had chosen to do. They could feel her life-force draining away, diminishing until it was almost gone. 

Tasuki began to shake violently, "DAMN HIM! I SWEAR I'LL KILL HIM IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!" he snarled savagely, his amber eyes burning with murderous rage. His hands tightened around his tessen, holding it in a death grip as he started forward towards Nakago, who seemed completely oblivious to his presence…Without warning, he found Chichiri's hand around his arm, restraining him with a vise-like grip, refusing to let him progress any further. The monk was holding the staff out and blocking his path with it. Tasuki glared at his fellow seishi, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he screamed, losing control over his rampaging emotions, "LET ME KILL THE BASTARD NOW! CAN'T YOU SEE—"

Chichiri did not turn to face him, and when he spoke, his voice was uncharacteristically hoarse and subdued, cracking under the same immense grief Tasuki himself was feeling, "Matte…Look."

Tasuki jerked and struggled against Chichiri's hold, trying to get free; but the monk was surprisingly strong and he was forced to stand helpless, watching through the hot, bitter tears blurring his eyes, as the blonde man pulled the dagger out of Miaka's limp body... 

The blade was coated with her blood…her life. Without even sparing them a single glance and without the slightest hint of hesitation, Nakago brought the sharp edge of the weapon up and slit his own wrist.

* * *

Notes:

1) I think the urge to sacrifice herself for the people she cares about is encoded into Miaka's DNA or something...Take for example that evil Miaka incident with Taiitsukun's mirror right at the beginning of the anime series. She stabbed herself with a shard from a broken plate(!). Also, I thought I would include the quotation, "This time, I will be the one who will make the sacrifice..." It's from the anime and she says it after she's duped by the fake Taiitsukun and runs off to try and get the Genbu Shinzaho back from Nakago...

2) And no, this story is NOT going to take a Romeo & Juliet turn... 


	19. Darkest Before The Dawn

**Chapter 19: Darkest Before The Dawn**

The cold metal bit sharply into his flesh, and blood immediately gushed from the self-inflicted injury. He did not even react to the pain…Nicholas had already slipped into the dark, quiet state of mind where nothing could touch him, and he hardly felt anything anymore. It was as though he was detached from his own body, a spectator of sorts, watching himself go through the motions but not really in control of his actions. Everything he was doing was instinctive; he was acting on a knowledge which he did not know he possessed, like an automatic reflex. 

He carefully pulled her into a half-lying, half-sitting position, bracing her small, slender frame against his chest and lifted her shirt to expose the ugly puncture wound marring the smooth flesh. He put his arm around her waist, unconsciously caressing the creamy white skin of her stomach before firmly pressing his bleeding wrist over the laceration; his blood to her blood, his skin to her skin…

Closing his eyes, Nicholas concentrated on willing his chi into her quickly weakening body; at the same time using his psychokinetic abilities to force his own blood into her veins…

Tasuki watched with morbid fascination as the man who had tried to kill Miaka now tried to save her life. A maelstrom of grief, anger and confusion raged inside him, each one fighting for dominance. He did not know what to think anymore, so he did the only thing he could do…he prayed. _Please Suzaku, please let her live…_

Chichiri opened his mouth, then closed it again, unable to believe his own eyes_. Nani! What in the world…? It cannot be! _He wanted to look away as his face started to heat up and his cheeks burned with embarrassment. The scene before him, despite all the blood, was extremely intimate. Miaka and Nakago…he could feel their life-forces beginning to merge, almost like they were—... He had never thought anything like this to be remotely possible, given the circumstances. During his travels as a wandering monk, he had once heard of a way to manipulate and combine chi in the manner he was witnessing now, but from what he knew, it could only be achieved when…

…When a man and a woman made love using the Bochuu-Jutsu technique.

The blue-haired monk's attention was jerked back to the two people in front of him when Nakago abruptly stood up with Miaka in his arms. Nakago appeared considerably weakened and his skin had turned the same milk-white as Miaka's. The pupils of his normally pale blue eyes were wide and dilated, making them appear almost black from a distance. The blonde Seiryuu seishi wavered slightly, almost dropping the unconscious girl before he regained his footing once more. _After pumping all that chi and blood into Miaka…it's amazing that he's even managing to stand, let alone carry her,_ Chichiri realised with growing alarm. 

The glow from the kokoro symbol on Nakago's forehead flickered, then steadied and flared, brighter than ever. The blonde man seemed to be putting everything he had into one last burst of energy…

Blue chi, like the hottest part of a candle flame, shimmered iridescently around him and his fragile burden. By the time Tasuki and Chichiri realised what was happening and dashed forward, it was already too late…because a split-second later, both the Suzaku seishi found themselves staring at empty air when Nakago suddenly disappeared, taking Miaka with him. 

* * *

_He set her down gently on the bed, and turned to the cowering physicians who had just come in through the door._

_"If she dies, you die," he told them coldly in a flat monotone, his manner making it absolutely clear that he meant every single word._

_With that, he turned and walked out of the room._

That had been only an hour ago, but it seemed much longer. He'd brought her back to the room they had supplied him with for his personal use…back inside the palace where Kutou's finest imperial physicians could treat her. He knew it was futile though…the damage was too great; she was bleeding to death internally, and nothing could be done about that. A human body was never meant to be subjected to such abuse, not even one as amazingly resilient as hers. Even with his powers, all he had managed to do by sharing his blood and chi with her was to buy her a little extra time. He began to wonder if it had been a wise decision, prolonging her pain when the humane thing to do would be to let her go peacefully. _Humane…I'm thinking of her like a terminally sick pet that needs to be put down. _He felt no humour at the acerbic mental observation, only an acute sense of frustrated weariness… and along with it, grim acceptance of the inevitable.Perhaps he was being unforgivably cruel for forcing her to remain here, hanging between life and death. 

Looking down at his hands and clothes, he realised that he was covered with blood…most of it hers. He knew that no matter how many times he washed his hands, even if he scrubbed them raw, they would always be stained with the essence of her life…and it would haunt him forever, in his dreams, in every waking moment… 

Nicholas closed his eyes, feeling light-headed and nauseous from the blood loss. He knew he was on the verge of passing out…as it was, sheer force of will was the only thing keeping him upright. A short distance away, down the hallway, he could hear the best doctors in the kingdom working frantically to keep one small girl alive…

Of course, they were not doing it because they cared anything for her, but rather, they were doing it in an effort to preserve their own miserable lives. Not that it really mattered anyway. In the end, the result would still be the same.

Lifting his hand, he stared intently at the deep cut across his wrist and deliberately curled his fingers into a fist. It hurt like hell. _Good_. Harder and harder, he squeezed, until the wound reopened, and blood began trickling down his arm in thick, scarlet rivulets. He was furious; at the Suzaku no Miko, at himself, at the entire world in general. Why hadn't her good-for-nothing seishi stopped her? Wasn't it their job to protect her? Why couldn't she have left things well alone? _She had no business coming back._ He didn't understand what had driven her to such extremes and he wanted to wring her little neck and shake her like a rat for doing something so insanely foolish…and now, because of him, she was going to die. 

So many people would grieve for her.

He didn't care to be among those individuals; he wanted to hate her, to be angry at her…those emotions were more easily handled than sorrow or guilt…and far less upsetting. He slammed his fist into the nearest wall, and the sound of the masonry crumbling around his hand was accompanied by the sickening crunch of his knuckles splitting. He welcomed the pain and the temporary distraction it provided. Unexpectedly, something warm slid down his face, the sensation taking him by surprise. Reluctant to see the irrefutable evidence of what he already suspected, Nicholas slowly reached up to touch his cheek…

His fingers came away wet. The thin film of moisture clung to his fingertips, and he stared at it for several long seconds, _Tears…? _That was strange, he had thought he'd forgotten how…

Nevertheless, it seemed fitting. He remembered how she had forgiven him; how she had shown him genuine compassion and cried for him despite everything he had done to her. His lips twisted into a bitter smile as he reflected on the irony of the situation. The one time he had somehow found it in himself to return the favour…she wasn't even around to receive it. 

It was a pity. This would be his last gift to her.

Only a matter of time now. 

It was happening even as he stood here thinking about it, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it…in truth, he wasn't sure if he _wanted_ anyone to stop it. He was reverting back into the state he had been in before he'd befriended her, becoming cold and distant… the things the Suzaku no Miko hated most about him. Nicholas could already feel the tendrils of ice beginning to wrap themselves around his heart, shutting off all emotion and locking them behind impenetrable walls once more. Soon, there would be nothing left inside him to feel. There would be no grief, no pain…no regret. He simply would not be capable of it any longer.

The icy chill was advancing relentlessly, and the last part of his soul, the part of him which had finally started to realise what it meant to be truly human, would freeze over completely the moment she died…

And this time, it would be permanent.

* * *

He had seen everything happen through Taiitsukun's mirror…had watched in horror, powerless to do anything, as Miaka did the unthinkable…and all for the sake of a man who had tried to kill her. A pain he had never known had overtaken him then, making him feel like someone had stabbed a knife through his heart and twisted it. It had taken a great deal of begging, but somehow, he and Keisuke had managed to convince Taiitsukun to send them here…

Keisuke...

Deeply shaken and frantic with worry, there had been the initial tears and shocked disbelief, but he now seemed to be holding up well after what had happened to his sister, and Taka admired his friend's emotional fortitude.

They had arrived to find two grim, subdued Suzaku seishi outside a room, as though still trying to stand guard over Miaka as the doctors treated her. Keisuke had immediately taken up the vigil beside them, anxiously waiting for any news of his sister; hoping for the best and fearing the worst. Taka had wanted to stay with them, but found himself headed towards the room at the end of the hall. Instinct told him that he would find Nicholas there. There was something he badly needed to know; he'd had his suspicions for quite a while now, and there was something he had to see for himself… 

He leaned against the wall, appearing more calm than he really felt and waited for Nicholas to emerge from the room. He'd started when he heard the sudden, muffled crash of something hitting a wall, but resisted the urge to go in to find out what had caused it.

Minutes passed. The door opened and the blonde man exited with a characteristically blank non-expression on his face. Taka had anticipated as much from Nicholas, but what he had not exactly pictured was the sight of the badly-torn knuckles of one hand bleeding freely; the blood dripping unheeded to the floor in a steady stream. Pushing himself to his feet, he stepped in front of Nicholas, blocking the other man's way. They stared at each other in silence for a long moment; stormy violet meeting flinty silver-grey…

Abruptly, Taka drew his arm back and swung his fist in a vicious right-hook…straight at Nicholas' jaw. 

The Seiryuu seishi's head snapped to one side when the strike connected, but that was about the only reaction Taka got. Nicholas did not even wince or make a sound at the pain the impact of the blow must have caused and merely stood very still for the space of several heartbeats before slowly turning his face back to regard his assailant with a flat, unemotional stare. A thin trail of crimson trickled down his chin from the corner of his mouth and a harsh red mark graced the pale skin where Taka had hit him. 

This is it. I will find out, once and for all…So what will it be, Nicholas? 

All the cards were finally laid out on the table and there was no turning back. Whatever occurred next would answer everything which needed to be answered. Taka returned Nicholas' arctic gaze without flinching, for once not the least bit intimidated; until the other man suddenly side-stepped him and unconcernedly brushed past him without any comment, as though the last minute or so had never happened.

"Why didn't you evade my punch?" he asked softly. He knew full well that Nicholas had seen it coming. He was also aware that the Seiryuu seishi could have blocked or countered his attack—could even have killed him—without any effort, but instead, the enigmatic man had simply stood there and allowed himself to be hit. 

Nicholas paused in his walking, but did not dignify the question with an answer. 

"I thought so. It's really true…" Taka said in a low voice, not making any move to turn around to look at the person behind him, acknowledging the fact that the tall, impassive blonde would not accord him the same courtesy. 

There was no response to his statement. When the dark-haired former Suzaku seishi finally turned around, Nicholas was gone and Taka found himself standing alone in the hallway. He had not even heard the other man leave. The blonde shogun had not said a single thing or tried to defend himself throughout the entire exchange…but then, words had not been necessary. 

His silence, in itself, had already told Taka all he needed to know. 

* * *

The doctors had left, long ago having given up hope. They were probably packing as many of their possessions as they could carry and trying to get as far away from the palace as possible before their shogun decided to make good on his threat. The only people who remained by her bedside were the ones who knew her, who loved her, and who would mourn for her. Nicholas wondered if he had any right to be there at all, since he only qualified on the first count…

He stood at the back of the room, partially hidden in the shadows. No one seemed to notice him, and he did nothing to draw attention to himself. Miaka's brother and her seishi stood around her, various expressions of anxiety, grief and distress etched on their faces. It was admirable, how they had rallied together to put up a united front even though they all knew what was going to happen. That alone, deserved credit. He had failed to realise it before, but he recognised now that it was this unity which gave them the strength to weather any storm…and he suspected that if he were to be completely honest with himself, he would find that he actually envied them. 

Turning, he noiselessly departed from the room. Nicholas had no desire to be there when the warmth left her body; did not wish to see her go still and limp as a rag doll when the last breath left her lungs. Put simply, he didn't want to watch her die. The Suzaku no Miko was lucky to have clung onto life this long. He could feel her spirit through the tenuous psychic link he still shared with her and knew she was fighting desperately to stay alive. However, she was already tiring rapidly…

This was one battle she would not be able to win, no matter how determined she was. She would finally lose…everyone did eventually, just some sooner than others. She had already given everything she had to give and had honourably discharged her duty as Suzaku's priestess. Soon, the phoenix god would have to choose a new miko. 

Allowing his feet to take him where they might, he walked uncaringly through the palace grounds until he found himself back at that fateful spot under the flowering tree in the middle of the imperial gardens. The tree had seen much violence, a silent witness to all the events which had transpired here. The trunk was badly scarred and burnt in many places, the blackened wood providing a sharp contrast to pink petals and green leaves. The branches were covered with a profusion of delicate blossoms, but as beautiful as they were, this would be the last time the flowers would bloom. 

The tree was dying…just like her. 

The cold night wind swept through the garden, causing the branches to sway and sending flower petals swirling around him. There was nothing else left to do. He calmly stared up into the black, starless sky with blue eyes which had turned a hard, uncompromising silver…and waited. 

* * *

He was due to appear onstage in less than five minutes. From inside his dressing room, he could hear the deafening screams from his fans. They were all out there, waiting to see Andy Wong, pop star and entertainer extraordinaire. His lips quirked upwards as he tied his long, flowing hair into a low ponytail. All in all, life had been kind to him, blessing him with good looks and a highly successful music career. He genuinely loved what he did for a living, but—…The smile slowly faded. Sometimes he wondered if there was something more, something beyond what he knew. Of late, he'd been having strange dreams and brief flashes of people who seemed so familiar, but try as he might, he had been unable to place any of them anywhere.

He froze, staring into the mirror on his dressing table with wide, disbelieving eyes. For one moment, he could have sworn he'd seen…It had been his reflection in the glass, and yet, not him. The image he had glimpsed had looked regal and dignified, wearing richly embroidered robes fit for an emperor…

Emperor…? 

Suddenly, Andy gasped and staggered backwards as a feeling of inexplicable grief overtook him. It felt as if a part of his soul was being ripped from him and crushed. He managed sit down on a nearby chair before his knees gave way, and found himself looking into the mirror at a man who had gone deathly pale and who had tears streaming down his face…He almost did not recognise it as himself. 

"Miaka…" The word came out as a hoarse whisper as he grieved for a girl he did not know and whom he had never met. 

* * *

Nicholas was aware of it the instant it happened. He knew the feeling all too well. After all, he'd been through this before…several times, in fact. Why should this time be any different? Except, of course, for the sharp wrenching of his soul as the bond they shared was severed…he had not realised how used he'd become to the feel of her presence in his mind. He supposed all good things had to come to an end, or so he clearly recalled a certain evil deity saying. It was over, and he accepted it because it was the only option available to him besides denial…he refused to lie to himself. _Not for her, not for anyone._

The Suzaku no Miko was dead.

Without a moment's notice, crimson light shimmered into existence around him, and he saw that his own body was beginning to fade. Somehow, he was not surprised. He understood that Suzaku was sending him back, now that he no longer had any reason to remain in this world. 

Life would go on like it always did, but no one would ever know how much it had cost him.

* * *

Notes:

1) Erm…please don't hurt me? Ducks to avoid a flying pitchfork from the angry mob I was suffering from a particularly nasty case of writer's block and was in a really evil mood when I wrote this. I may have killed Miaka off, but the story isn't over yet! I have another one of my (infamous) plot twists up my sleeve, and I guarantee that there'll be a happy ending…for some people anyway…

2) Rampant spoilers—…Oops, looks like it's a little too late for that. (sweatdrop) For those people who did not know prior to reading this: Hotohori was reincarnated as Andy Wong, a famous singer from China.

3) If Nakago seems to be a cold, uncaring prick in that he's taking everything so calmly, it's because it is in his nature. His emotions are shutting down, either by choice on his part or because it's an unconscious defense mechanism to protect himself.

4) Finally! Taka redeems himself. He isn't a coward and he's not weak. See? He can stand up to Nicholas if he wants to…and he actually drew blood! (I know one of my friends will be very happy when she reads this…she's a Taka/Tamahome person!)


	20. Advent Of The Phoenix

**Chapter 20: Advent Of The Phoenix**

Miaka slowly opened her eyes, almost afraid of what she would find once she did. Drawing in a breath of surprise, she stared at her surroundings in astonishment…she was not sure what she had expected, but it certainly wasn't _this_.

She was standing in an immense field full of wild-flowers, stretching out all the way to the horizon; as far as the eye could see. _This is the afterlife? What happened to all the doom and gloom? _The thought was sobering, reminding her of the reason she was here in the first place. _I'm…dead, and it's all over…_ She looked down at her feet, saddened by the fact that she had left everyone she had loved behind. Family, friends…

She missed them already.

"Not quite how you pictured it, is it?" a quiet voice asked out of nowhere. 

The unexpected intrusion startled her, causing her to jump at least a foot in the air, and she whirled around to confront the source. She was about to snap at the person for nearly giving her a heart attack, but her eyes widened when she saw who it was and the angry retort died in her throat. "Suzaku…seikun?" she stammered uncertainly, taking in the sight of the handsome red-haired phoenix god. At first, she vaguely registered that something seemed different about him, but it took her several more seconds to realise what exactly it was that was different. 

Unfurling from his shoulder-blades were a magnificent pair of wings, like those of an angel. Only, instead of being pure white, his wings were a fiery crimson; the glossy feathers themselves seemed to have an iridescent quality about them which caught the light and reflected it. _Kirei…_Miaka couldn't help thinking in awe. 

"Hello, my Miko." Suzaku greeted her serenely. 

Miaka fidgeted with her hands, not knowing what else to do. _Are dead people supposed to feel nervous? _she wondered inanely. By all rights, his appearance should have comforted her, but somehow, it only served to upset her further, driving home the fact that she did not belong in the world of the living any longer. She turned her head, trying to hide the tears which had managed to escape her eyes at the realisation. "It's over…everything's finally over, isn't it?" she muttered almost inaudibly, her tone heavy with tired resignation. 

"Do you want it to be?" 

The question caught her unawares, throwing her for a loop. For a second, Miaka thought that she had heard him wrongly and stared at the god in confusion; her mouth falling open when she saw that Suzaku was smiling. His wings spread wide open before sweeping forward so that the very tips of the silken feathers tickled her cheek in a whisper-soft caress. "I have never regretted choosing you as my Miko, and you have never disappointed me," the red-haired god said as he regarded her with glittering golden eyes.

Miaka felt her heart beginning to race, "I…I don't understand…" she whispered haltingly, scarcely allowing herself to believe the hope which had re-ignited within her, burning as hot as the flame in Suzaku's shrine.

Suzaku silently held out his hand to her, as if inviting her to dance. 

"I have a gift for you."

* * *

Chichiri and Tasuki stood around her with their heads bowed, tears running freely down their faces; each locked in their own grief, mourning a girl who had been their Miko and their friend…but more than that, she had been _family _to them. 

The Suzaku seishi gasped when they suddenly felt an enormously powerful surge of chi. It knocked everyone backwards into the far wall. Keisuke and Taka were momentarily stunned by the impact, but recovered quickly enough to see that something extraordinary was happening.

Four pairs of red-rimmed eyes stared across the room at the bed where Miaka's body floated in mid-air, suspended by an invisible force. "What the—…" Keisuke rushed forward before anyone could stop him, but was forced back by a blast of intense heat. He staggered back, tripping over a chair and falling heavily on his rear. 

However, pain was the last thing on his mind as he continued staring helplessly at the scene in front of him as red-tinged flames enveloped his sister's limp form. "MIAKA!" he screamed desperately, wanting to put out the fire before it consumed her lifeless body entirely…she had been already strangled and stabbed, she did not need to be burned as well! He struggled fiercely to get to her side when he found himself dragged back to a safe distance by Taka and Chichiri.

The flames burned with an eerie silence, growing brighter until everyone was forced to shield their eyes or risk being blinded. Finally, with the intensity of an exploding star, the light seemed expand and swallow everything in its path; the entire room, and everyone in it…

* * *

The last traces of mystical red light faded from his vision, and Nicholas found himself standing in one of the last places he had expected. With a cynical mental shrug, he supposed that he should thank Suzaku for being considerate enough to send him straight back to his apartment, thus saving him the trouble of having to get back here on his own.

Sweeping a critical eye around the room, he noted that it was exactly as he had left it. How long had he been in the Shijintenchisho? Knowing that time passed more slowly here than in the universe of the four gods, he attempted to calculate the length of his absence…

"Less than a day has gone by," someone said, answering his unvoiced question.

He slowly turned around, already knowing the identity of the speaker even before his eyes met his visitor's golden ones. The phoenix god stood in the middle of the living room and interestingly, on a hand-woven antique oriental rug which he had payed a fortune for at an auction. Regarding the red-haired intruder expressionlessly, Nicholas did not reply immediately. He was tired; of phoenixes and dragons, of fickle gods who brought nothing but sadness and disappointment. He told himself that he should have known better when he'd thought that Suzaku, out of all the gods, would be the one who would actually protect it's own miko. Either way, it didn't matter anymore…the Suzaku no Miko was gone, and angry accusations and finger-pointing were not going to do her one bit of good. Wanting nothing more than to be left alone, he was about to tell his uninvited guest to get the hell off his carpet and out of his house. Once upon a time, he would not have even considered doing such a thing, lest he incurred the wrath of a god, but now, he found that he simply did not care anymore.

"Fate often hands out surprises, but it never makes mistakes," Suzaku remarked almost gently, "I am sure you know that things always happen for a reason."

"I understand perfectly," Nicholas interrupted calmly before the other man could say anything more, "Fate decreed that she die, and therefore she did. People have a saying here: There are two things you cannot escape from in this world…Death and taxes," he allowed his mouth to curl into a bland, decidedly sardonic smirk as he made the statement in the coldly analytical way which conveyed complete emotional detachment. "Now if you would excuse me, I believe it is time I got back to my own life." 

He hoped that the god would take the hint and leave. Didn't Suzaku have anything better to do? _Like that all-important task of choosing a new Miko and ruining the unlucky girl's life?_ his mind supplied wryly. Making no attempt to hide what he was thinking, Nicholas pointedly ignored the room's other occupant and turned towards the clear glass pane which spanned the wall from the floor right up to the ceiling. The view it afforded him was a spectacular one…that of Tokyo city at night, with the countless pinpoints of light glittering like multi-coloured gems against a backdrop of black velvet. 

Nicholas could see the red-haired god's reflection clearly in the glass, but he forced himself to look past it into the darkness outside. All the same, he tensed unaccountably when he felt Suzaku fixing him with a probing stare.

"Miaka has served me well. She was a true priestess of the phoenix," the god said softly, tilting his head thoughtfully to study the blonde man who had been the Suzaku no Miko's most recent—albeit reluctant—protector…Nakago also by far the most stubborn. An odd, almost secretive half-smile seeming to pass over Suzaku's countenance for an instant._ Never forget that, _he whispered cryptically into Nicholas' mind. _One day, you will understand._

When Nicholas finally chose to turn his gaze back inside the room, Suzaku was nowhere to be seen, and everything was as it had been…except for the single red feather resting on the exact spot where the phoenix god had stood. 

* * *

Tasuki was the first to recover, and cautiously made his way across the room. It was a mess…The walls and floor were scorched and bore unmistakable burn marks. The bed was no better; the once-fine sheets and silk hangings were destroyed, leaving only scraps of half-burnt fabric…

Every step he took drew him closer to where his miko had lain in her last moments. He was dreading the sight which would confront him, not knowing if he would be able to take it, but he forced himself to keep moving forward. He stepped around some charred debris which used to be a table…and froze. _It can't be… Impossible… _Tasuki began to tremble and barely managed to stagger the last few steps before fell heavily on his knees.

Lying peacefully amidst the rapidly cooling ashes was the body of a girl poised on the very threshold of womanhood. Her eyes were closed and her russet hair was fanned out in delicate waves around her head…her skin shone, pale and perfect against the blackened surroundings. It was as if she had been untouched by the flames which had reduced everything around her into a brittle cinder. 

And even as he watched, her chest slowly rose and fell in a steady rhythm. 

To Tasuki, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Turning back to his companions, he met their eyes with fierce joy and awestruck reverence glowing in his own. He did not try to contain the tears which slipped down his cheeks as he realised the enormity of what they had all witnessed…An old legend proven true and turned into reality…

A miracle.

An answer to a prayer.

"Miaka is…" he tried to stop his voice from shaking and swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry, "She's alive." 

* * *

She was standing on the bank of a large mountain lake, and it was a place she did not recognise. Snow lay thickly on the ground, soft and pure white, the tiny ice crystals glittering in the weak light. Out of curiosity, she took a step closer to the water's edge, and realised that the lake had just recently frozen over. She could see the shadowy shapes of fish darting about just under the ice, and knew that it wasn't very thick…perhaps only a few centimetres. It would not hold her weight if she tried to walk on it. 

Suddenly, she was filled with an odd sense that alerted her to the fact that she was being watched. She turned, wondering who she would see in such a desolate place. Her heart filled with hope and her breath escaped in a near-silent gasp of surprise when she saw it was _he_ who was watching her. Standing perfectly still, as if he were a statue curved from ice, he was gazing at her with unnerving intensity. Blonde hair and eyes the colour of icicles glinted in the watery light, just enough to distinguish him from the otherwise colourless surroundings. 

He did not move when she approached him, and simply waited for her to reach him. She looked at him carefully, noticing that his skin was as pale as the snow which lay on the ground at their feet. _As pale as death. _Shuddering at the thought, she immediately pushed it from her mind, refusing to think about its implications. 

"Nakago…" she whispered, instinctively reaching out to touch his hand.

What she felt caused her to recoil in alarm. His skin was as cold as ice. 

"Suzaku no Miko," he addressed her formally in a flat monotone, taking no notice of the brief contact of her fingers and her horrified reaction thereafter. His eyes held hers in an unblinking stare which seemed to bore right into her soul and turn it inside out. 

She forced herself to ignore the hurt confusion she felt at his impersonal greeting. Didn't he know how glad she was to see him again? _Doesn't he even care? _He'd spoken to her, looked at her, as though she was nothing more than a stranger to him… However, first and foremost on her mind was a fierce concern for his well-being; she would deal with the inexplicable pain which tore through her heart later. He might pay little regard to his own health, but there was no way she was going to allow the insufferable jerk to freeze to death! "Nakago, you…you're cold!—" 

"So I've been told," he interrupted her before she could get any further; the corners of his pale lips lifting slightly in a thin, humourless smile.

She gritted her teeth in frustrated anger at his matter-of-fact response, aware that he'd known what she had really meant but had instead chosen to deliberately misinterpret her words. Nevertheless, even warped as his answer was, it held nothing but the truth…after all, he _did_ keep everyone at arm's length by being aloof and arrogant. Her mind worked to think of a suitable retort, then spluttered to a halt when she suddenly felt his fingertips gliding over the side of her face almost tenderly. Even barely touching, the feel of his chilled skin on hers made her shiver involuntarily…

His hand abruptly dropped back down to his side, as though he'd just realised what he had been doing. Something seemed to flicker in his eyes for a split-second, like a tiny spark on the verge of being kindled into a fire…but just as suddenly, it was snuffed out, vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. His blue eyes iced over, the already pale colour bleaching into the same dull grey as the overcast sky above their heads. 

Without another word, he silently moved past her. Stopping at the edge of the lake, he stared out across the flat expanse of frozen water at the distant, mist-shrouded shore on the other side.

She felt an irrational fear gripping her as he slowly half-turned so he could regard her with those cold, frighteningly empty eyes; his handsome face completely devoid of emotion. Icy wind blew across the lake, ruffling his blonde hair and chilling her to the bone. The distance between them seemed to increase with every passing moment, until he appeared to be impossibly far away.

She began running towards him, screaming his name, desperately trying to reach him as a single word echoed in her heart…Goodbye.

He walked out onto the thin ice—

"MIAKA!" A distant voice yelled over and over again, coming closer, louder… 

She jerked awake, finding herself back in her room with her brother beside her. Keisuke was holding her hand, worried concern written across his features. Miaka realised that she was trembling uncontrollably, and that her throat was sore. 

Keisuke brushed away the tears which streaked her face, mute sympathy glowing in his eyes, "It was just a nightmare," he murmured softly as he folded her into a comforting hug, gently rubbing her back to soothe her as she clung to him, burying her face in his shoulder. He briefly turned his mind back to how Chichiri had transported all of them back to Mount Taikyoku after Miaka had miraculously come back to life. They had stayed there for a few more days while she regained her strength until Taiitsukun—with the help of Tasuki and Chichiri—had sent them back into this world. 

However, ever since then, Miaka had been tormented nightly by dreams of a certain tall, blonde man. Most of the time, she did not remember those dreams, but it pained Keisuke to hear her whimpering in her sleep every night, mumbling the former Seiryuu seishi's name, her face twisted into an expression somewhere between fear and heart-breaking sadness. [_She was brought back from the dead_he remembered Tetsuya saying one day[_But minus a part of her soul…_

This had already been going on for several weeks, and it was taking its toll on her. Despite Keisuke's and Taka's best efforts, her cheerfulness had dimmed noticeably. He knew that she tried very hard to keep up a façade of care-free happiness for everyone's sake, unfortunately, nothing could hide the fact that she looked increasingly drawn and tired. It was as if she was slowly withering away, a little at a time. Yui and Tetsuya were doing their best to locate Nicholas, but with no success. The blonde man had never divulged any personal details, and they had no clue as to where to start looking for him. For all they knew, it was entirely possible that he was no longer even in Japan. _Kami-sama, please let us find him soon, _Keisuke thought grimly, _she can't carry on like this much longer. _The nightmares seemed to be getting progressively worse… Tonight, he had woken up when Miaka had started screaming Nakago's name.

He looked down at her as she fell into a troubled, exhausted sleep against his shoulder and sighed inwardly. Gazing out of the room's window at the darkened sky sprinkled with stars, he could only hope for the best. _Where the hell are you, Nicholas?_

* * *

His eyes snapped open, and he stared blankly at the ceiling of his bedroom. It had been weeks, and the dreams were getting worse. They refused to leave him…they were there every single time he closed his eyes, forcing him to relive the entire debacle, but it did not just end there…each time, each scenario would be slightly different, although the conclusion would always be the same. In the realm of his dreams, he had killed her hundreds of times, in hundreds of different ways. However, Nicholas did not consider them to be nightmares. Not anymore. Nightmares shocked, frightened and unnerved the dreamer, but he'd had them so often that they had ceased to illicit any sort of emotional response from him except perhaps jaded indifference. Even then, they prevented him from sleeping more than a few hours at a time.

He immersed himself in his job, working continuously to keep his mind occupied and staying inhumanly long hours in his office to avoid going back to his apartment; he ate only when he absolutely needed to and slept even less. Slumber did not come easily to him, and when it finally did creep over his senses, it was never pleasant. Therefore, the solution he had come up with was, simply, not to sleep. 

Nicholas knew that the method he was using to deal with the problem was extremely flawed. It was, at best, only a short-gap measure, but until the dreams exhausted all the countless possibilities his subconscious could conjure of her death and finally left him in peace or until he could purge all memories of her from his mind, it would have to do.

* * *

Miaka did not know how much longer she could keep up this charade of incessant cheerfulness. Suzaku knew, how she had tried…she had tried so very hard and she felt so tired. Everyday, she would see the unspoken pity in everybody's eyes, and it was driving her insane…most of all, she missed _him_. She had not realised how used she had been to hearing the deep sound of his voice making cutting remarks, or seeing those enigmatic blue eyes regarding her as if they could look into her soul…

She walked listlessly past all the shops along the street, past all the bright lights and glittering signs. Once upon a time, not so long ago, she would have been excited at the prospect of spending her allowance on clothes and food, but now it no longer seemed to hold any allure for her. 

Maybe it was just because she was finally growing up. After all, she was seventeen years old, and she had seen and done more in the last two years than most normal people would in an entire lifetime. Things were different now…she was no longer the same person she had been two years ago when she and Yui had first discovered the world inside the Shijintenchisho. All these experiences had changed her; she had made so many new friends, fallen in love…

Love…

All at once, she felt that nagging sensation that someone was watching her, and along with it, the thrill of recognition. _Could it be…? _Lifting her head, she stared across the street, searching desperately for what she hoped to see beyond all else… 

Darkened hazel eyes met pale silver-blue.

Miaka stood frozen in place, unable to stop the tears of overwhelming joy which somehow managed to force themselves to the surface. Nakago was all right; he had made it back to this world safely, and now, finally, after so long…she had finally found him again.

* * *

Notes:

1) Sorry minna, for the long wait between uploads! Like poor Nicholas, I've been buried in work (although for entirely different reasons), and have had barely enough time to BREATHE, much less write fanfiction…

2) Everyone should know by now that Miaka is like a persistent fungal infection, you can't get rid of her so easily and she keeps coming back! evil smirk Surely no one expected the dear girl to STAY dead, hmmmm? There will be a further explanation on why she was ressurrected in the next chapter, courtesy of Nicholas' superior intellect and reasoning skills! Please stay tuned, and I'll try to crank out the next installment ASAP! 


	21. Standing On The Edge

**Chapter 21: Standing On The Edge**

The sight of her petite, hauntingly familiar russet-haired figure had stopped him on his tracks, and Nicholas calmly informed himself that it was time he arranged an appointment with a good psychiatrist… because his dreams had began manifesting themselves as full-fledged hallucinations. Not only was he wide awake, he was seeing the Suzaku no Miko standing on the opposite side of the street, _as if she was still alive._

It was impossible. She was dead…he'd _felt _her die. 

Yet, there she was, standing there in broad daylight. He had been on his way to his office, studying a proposal for what had been termed politely as a 'strategic merger' between two companies, when her unmistakable chi had drawn his attention as surely as a slap in the face; the unique power signature which defined Suzaku's priestess was like a beacon. Every single one of his senses told him that what he was seeing was not an illusion, unless…all of them were playing tricks on him simultaneously. Possible, but extremely unlikely.

Just then, almost as if she had sensed his presence, she had abruptly turned and stared straight at him with those luminous hazel eyes of hers. 

In that single moment, he understood everything. 

He wasn't hallucinating, and he certainly wasn't going crazy. It was true that he had felt her death and had undeniably felt the pain of the bond he had shared with her as it had been ripped away. By all counts, she HAD died. Except the problem was, he had not stayed around long enough to see what had happened _after_ that…The last piece of the perplexing puzzle fell into place when, all at once, he recalled Suzaku seikun's visit from so many weeks prior, and more importantly, the cryptic words the red-haired god had spoken

(_Miaka has served me well. She was a true priestess of the phoenix…never forget that. One day, you will understand…)_

His eyes narrowed, _Of course. _Even back then, Suzaku had been hinting that nothing could be taken for granted, not even death. Miaka was Suzaku's beloved priestess…and Suzaku was the phoenix, the legendary creature which would die and be consumed by flames, only to rise again from the ashes…reborn in all its glory. 

The muscles in his jaw tightened as feelings that he had thought to be safely locked away behind the impenetrable shell of ice surrounding his soul forced themselves through the cracks which had appeared. Nicholas ruthlessly suppressed all the tumultuous emotions which were threatening to break free, determined not to let her see how strongly the sight of her was affecting him. While he was doing that, he worked on restraining his temper as well…She had been the cause of all the unpleasant dreams he'd experienced over the past weeks, when he believed that she was dead, only to find out now that she had indeed been alive all this while. Gods, he hated surprises. 

And he was furious at her, for doing this to him. Ever since he had come to know her, it had been an emotional rollercoaster straight from Day One…needless to say, he was not enjoying the ride. She made him feel things he did not want to feel, forcing him to handle emotions he was ill-equipped to deal with. Everyone else, he pushed away when they got too close, but somehow, she had managed to slip under his defenses, and he had been unable to shake her loose…

Outwardly impassive, he watched her as she approached with genuine joy glowing in her eyes and a trembling smile on her lips. The rational side of him was telling him to do something while he still could, to turn away and never look back. _You need to leave now, _his mental voice reminded him ominously, _you know what always happens when you start caring about someone. _Everyone he had ever truly cared about was dead, and given history's fondness for repeating itself, chances were that she would be no different from the others. The first time they had met in Kutou, he had tried to kill her and had come very close to doing so; that last time when they had been there, he had succeeded. He had already caused her death once; and once, was more than enough.

Suzaku had given her a second chance. It would seem a pity to waste it. No doubt she would be safer without him. Her family and friends would keep her out of trouble…and she had her precious Tamahome to protect her. 

Clenching his fist around the handle of the attaché case he was holding so tightly that it dug painfully into his palm, Nicholas only barely managed to prevent himself from crushing the sheaf of papers in his other hand. His entire body was tensed as he silently admitted something which he had suspected but had never been able to bring himself to acknowledge. He had always made it a point to be uncompromisingly honest with himself…but these past weeks, he'd been hiding from himself and from what he now knew with icy certainty to be the truth.

Despite her apparent ditziness, she had managed to impress him, time and time again, with her bravery, her ability to forgive unconditionally, and the way she went about overcoming impossible odds with a determination he had never seen anywhere else…he had always been intrigued by how such a small girl could possess such unbelievable strength of spirit. That moment in Kutou when she had looked up at him, the dagger buried deep in her body, and told him how glad she was that he had been released from kodoku's influence…she had touched a part of his soul that he'd not even known existed. _No, she did a great deal more than that_, he amended darkly; somewhere along the way when he had not been paying attention, the little waif had wrapped her delicate hands around his heart and ensnared him with those huge, expressive hazel eyes…and she had never let go, not even when she'd died. 

_Enjoy your conquest, dear Suzaku no Miko,_ he mused bitterly. 

He was a fool. Perhaps an even bigger fool than Tamahome, because he had thought that he was different from everyone else, lulled into the false security that he was somehow better than the Suzaku seishi. He had been too confident in his own abilities, too blind to see what was happening until it had been too late…_Truly pathetic indeed, _he wondered whether the fates had decided to punish him for everything he had done to the Suzaku no Miko and her seishi by making him the butt of a spectacular cosmic joke. If that was the case, he was probably the only one who wasn't laughing. 

Damn her. 

He damned her for making it so easy to love her.

And then he damned himself, for being fool enough to fall in love with her. 

* * *

She stared up at the tall, imposing blonde man in front of her, wondering at the frown which passed fleetingly over his features before his face took up its usual unperturbed expression. The fact that he was dressed in what was obviously an expensive designer suit and tie did not help matters either…it just made him appear all the more intimidating. _He doesn't seem glad to see me…_she thought in dismay. _Of course not, Baka! _another part of her mind sneered derisively, _To him, you've been DEAD for weeks! How would you like it if someone sprung a surprise like that on you? And this is NAKAGO, for heaven's sake…surely you don't expect him to start smiling and hugging you like there's no tomorrow? _She swallowed nervously, "I…uh…It's good to see you again," she said in a small voice.

He said nothing for a long moment, and his silence was nerve-wrecking. She watched the colour of his eyes shift from silver to blue and then back again. A muscle in his jaw twitched before he finally seemed to acknowledge the fact that she had spoken to him.

"I see you're alive and well, Suzaku no Miko." He addressed her in cool, precise tones, adding just the slightest hint of emphasis to the word 'alive' and somehow succeeded in making the innocuous words sound painfully sarcastic. 

Miaka searched his face, wondering what he was thinking about. Unfortunately, the expressionless mask which was firmly in place worked as well as it always had, giving her no clue as to the nature of his thoughts. _He looks tired, _she could not help noticing, concern for him immediately rushing to the fore. It did not escape her notice either, that even pale with fatigue and eyes shadowed, he was still extremely handsome…All at once, her heart began to race as the memory of them standing by the river and how it felt like to be kissed by him flashed vividly through her mind. She remembered how afraid she had been during the time when he had been poisoned with Kodoku…the very idea of losing him had terrified her. When had she begun feeling this way about him? When had she started looking at him like someone she could… love? _Masaka…_she thought despairingly as her heart sank, _I CAN'T…I just can't be—_

The sound of his deep voice jolted her out of her increasingly panicked thoughts. "Looks like your pet seishi is coming this way in search of you," he observed dryly, the corners of his mouth curled into one of his patented mocking smirks, while his silver-blue eyes flicked momentarily to a point somewhere behind her. 

For some reason she could not identify, she thought that the smirk looked strained, almost as though he was forcing it. "Nakago, I—"

"—have to go. Tamahome is looking for you." Nicholas finished smoothly for her and fixed her with an inscrutable blue stare. It was time. _This has to end here, now. A clean break, before it is too late, _he decided with grim finality, harshly clamping down on the last vestiges of wayward regret. The longer he stayed, the harder it would be to for him to leave. He would push her away, pretending that he didn't care…For her own good, he would hurt her just this once more and disappear out of her life. 

He was convinced that it was for the best anyway. If she ever found out about his newly discovered feelings towards her, it would complicate things and be unfair and painful for all parties concerned. He refused to do that to her; she'd already endured enough grief and hardship—a large part of which had been inflicted by him—to last a lifetime …and most of all, he refused to do that to himself; Miaka loved Tamahome (they had been destined for each other it seemed), and Nicholas wasn't going to stay around and play second fiddle. It was a novel experience for him…for the first time in his life, the one girl he wanted was the very same one he could never have. The thought served to harden his resolve, bringing with it the return to logic and a wry sense of peace. He did love her, he realised, but he could also learn to live without her. It would be similar to living with one leg or one kidney, it wasn't going to be comfortable and it certainly wasn't preferable to living with two…

But there wasn't any other way. It was something that had to be done. For her, for himself. 

Shiawase, Miaka. I wish you happiness. 

"Goodbye, Miaka," he heard himself say calmly without inflection, keeping his voice deliberately neutral to keep her from suspecting anything out of the ordinary. He knew that she saw him as a friend, and that she would be upset, maybe even angry at him for leaving without a word, but if she stayed true to her nature, she would forgive him…eventually. After all, she'd forgiven him for worse transgressions. He did not mind her being angry at him, at least she would be alive and happy with Tamahome. 

Swiftly turning on his heel, Nicholas walked away from her, leaving everything he had come to love standing alone in the middle of the pavement. 

* * *

She stared after Nakago in stunned silence, barely registering the fact that Taka had appeared by her side. 

Taka gently placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to bring her out of the trance-like state she seemed to have fallen into. He glanced around, searching for the cause of her condition; his violet eyes narrowing abruptly when he thought he caught a glimpse of blonde hair. "Miaka, are you okay?" he inquired softly. Everyone had been worried about her for the last few weeks, and he was no different. She always had a sad expression on her face when she thought that no one was looking, but now, she looked…shell-shocked.

She did not respond. In truth, she did not even hear him. The only thing Miaka could hear were Nakago's parting words to her, echoing in her ears, replaying themselves over and over again in her mind. 

_(Goodbye, Miaka.)_

Goodbye…he had said goodbye. Just like in her dream. 

Nakago knew how much she hated goodbyes. She had told him once before, that friends never said goodbye to each other. Suddenly, with frightening clarity, Miaka realised that if she did not go after him, if she were to let him walk away this time…she would never see him again. Nakago would make sure of that…she would not be able to find him if he did not wish to be found.

She had to make a choice. Here and now. One, the reincarnation of the person whom she had fallen in love with in the Book of the Four Gods. Kind and considerate, he'd always been so gentle with her…and he'd searched for her all his life, holding out the promise of unconditional love to her if she wanted it. The other, a man who had turned her best friend against her and who had tried to kill her more than once. Cold, aloof and arrogant; Nakago never spared her feelings, forcing her to face truths that she did not always want to face and pushing her to be better than herself.

She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath…

The choice was that simple.

* * *

Notes:

1) Egads! It has finally happened! This has been the hardest chapter I've ever had to write, because Nakago/Nicholas having feelings for _anyone_ is difficult to express in words and it's so easy to make him out-of-character if one isn't careful. I tried to incorporate the logical, controlled aspects of his personality with how I envisioned him handling the entire realisation of his feelings towards the Suzaku no Miko. Sorry about the lack of WAFF, but Nakago and waff just don't mix. I'd truly like some comments from everyone on how you think I handled it. Loved it? Hated it? Flaming criticism is welcome!

2) A "strategic merger" is sometimes used as a polite term for "hostile takeover"… Erm...Business humour. My ambition is to have a job like Nicholas…Yep, my friends think I'm weird too. 

3) Who is Miaka going to choose? Your guess is as good as mine!


	22. Destiny

**Chapter 22: Destiny**

Dressed in a simple white shift, she stood watching the sunset. A gentle breeze stirred the wavy russet strands of her hair as she tilted her face toward the light and felt the warmth of the fading sun's rays on her skin. She had never appreciated sunsets until…

She felt a familiar presence behind her, but did not turn around to see who it was. There was really no need to…she already knew. She had always felt a special connection with him.

He came up behind her, but did not touch her.

She sighed inwardly, feeling oddly contemplative. Things had not always been easy, but she had never regretted her decision, and the person who stood with her now had made her very happy. She did not know what she would have done without him…but perhaps there could have been another way which things could have been worked out—

"You're thinking about him," he said on no uncertain terms, the tone making it more of a statement than a question. Further elaboration was unnecessary; they both knew who he was referring to. The astute observation did not surprise her; he had always been good at sensing her thoughts and moods, but then again, he'd had numerous opportunities to practise. Still, she felt a twinge of annoyance that her thoughts were so easily decipherable…was she really that transparent? 

"Hai…I was just remembering something he told me," she agreed quietly. 

He did not interrupt, nor did he push her to tell him what was on her mind. All that was required was a little patience…she would tell him when she was ready. Until then, he would bide his time. He noted with silent appreciation the way the glow from the setting sun brought out the red highlights in her hair. She wasn't beautiful in the conventional way, but with her white dress, big hazel eyes and pixie-like features, she looked almost ethereal…one could mistake her for a sprite or a faerie of some sort, at least until they saw her with her food. A faint smile ghosted across his face at the whimsical thought. She had not changed much since he had met her that very first time, except that she was older now, her mind and body having matured considerably since then. Unfortunately, her eating habits had not changed...in fact, she was eating more than ever.

Taking a small step backwards, she leaned trustingly against him in a silent request to be held. He obliged her, wordlessly wrapping his arms around her waist. He had made a promise to protect her, and he fully intended to fulfil it. His arms tightened around her in an unconsciously possessive gesture as he thought about how close he'd come to losing her…and to losing _this_. His hands curved protectively over her slightly swollen belly. It never ceased to surprise him, how easily this intimacy came, nor could he ever quite bring himself to let go of the feeling of wonder that came with being loved by her, and once in a while, he would even privately admit that he sometimes allowed himself to bask in it. 

She relaxed back against his chest, sinking deeper into the gentle, yet possessive embrace. Her face was lit with a smile of contentment…a strange child-like joy of being in love and knowing that her love was returned; at the same time it was tampered by the maturity which came from having fought hard for that contentment. All these things, he reflected, were what made her truly beautiful. 

"Aishiteru," she whispered, closing her eyes.

"I know." 

His voice held a tinge of subdued satisfaction. He did not say anything more, but instead brushed his lips briefly along the delicate skin of her throat, drawing a soft sigh of pleasure from her. It would be enough for now. He knew that they were not entirely alone, and he preferred to express his feelings in ways more tangible than mere words would ever be…

It was not that he didn't enjoy hearing the words from her. The emotions which were behind the words were real; they were in her voice every time she spoke to him, in her eyes every time she looked at him. No, the words were not necessary at all, he mused, but they reinforced what he already knew and what she proved to him every single day…that she was his, in all the ways that counted.

And he would do everything in his power to protect them both...she, and the child she now carried within her.

* * *

Watching discreetly from a distance, the observer found himself reliving the memories of the moment which had changed all their lives forever…both his and theirs. It had been the right thing to do, he convinced himself. Her happiness was all that mattered.

_She turned to him, her eyes filled with tears. "Watashi…" she began, her voice trembling, no more than a faint whisper. He sensed that she had no idea how to tell him; she didn't want to break his heart or hurt him, he realised. _

_He'd silenced her then, by putting a finger to her lips, "I haven't told this to anyone…but shortly after we came back to this world, Suzaku paid me a visit. He offered to restore Tamahome's memories to me."_

_She gasped, her eyes widening in disbelief, "Tamahome—" _

_"Taka," he corrected her quietly, "My name is Taka." He smiled slightly to soften the words, trying to make her understand what he was trying to tell her. "Tamahome was the man you knew in the Book of the Four Gods, and Tamahome's memories are of loving his Suzaku no Miko, and of she loving him back." Pausing briefly in order to allow the significance of his words to sink in, he wiped away her tears with his thumb, "But the thing is, Tamahome's memories are just that…memories of the past. And it's all right to love someone else, Miaka. I'm sure Tamahome would understand…he would want you to be happy." _

_He took her hand and squeezed it affectionately, before giving her a gentle push in the direction the blonde man had taken, "Go after him, Miaka. Nicholas loves you." (…Enough to let you go. More than you'll ever guess. I've seen it…I know it.)_

_"Arigatou," she'd whispered brokenly, hugging him fiercely, overwhelming relief and hope shimmering in her hazel eyes. _

_She stepped away, smiling tremulously, and then, she was gone, taking off after the man she had given her heart to. Taka watched her disappear down the street, suddenly feeling a weight being lifted off his shoulders, even as the heartwrenching feelings of sadness and regret which he had been successfully hiding from her washed over him._

Taka closed his eyes. He had done the right thing, and his conscience was clear. Sighing ruefully, he wondered if he was destined to love her forever. He'd had his chance, he supposed, but he accepted the fact that it had never been met to be. Everyone had believed that he and Miaka had been fated to be together, and for a time, he had even allowed himself to believe it as well. However, the truth was that although she _had_ been destined to be with someone from the universe of the Four Gods, that someone had not been him. He hadn't been the one whose soul had been bound to hers, and he had not been the one who had been mysteriously compelled travel halfway around the world, only to meet her again with all his memories fully intact…but most importantly, he hadn't been the one she had fallen in love with, against all odds. 

The girl had almost been his, but never the young woman, whose heart was elsewhere.

He looked up and turned when he suddenly sensed the presence of another person. He wondered how long Keisuke had been standing behind him. 

Miaka's brother regarded him sympathetically, brown eyes serious, "Are you all right?"

He flinched involuntarily; hearing Keisuke's unvoiced question and instinctively knowing what the other man was really asking him. "I'll live. It's been more than�three years. I keep hoping that it'll get easier with time…but now that she's—" he shook his head, stopping himself before he could blurt it out. Keisuke did not know yet, and Miaka planned to tell her brother the happy news personally. _It wouldn't do to spoil her surprise, would it? _he thought wearily, trying his best to ignore the incipient hurt which rose up and constricted his heart; thankfully, it wasn't as bad as the kicked-in-the-gut feeling he'd experienced when he had first found out about it.

"Ano…" Keisuke did not seem to have noticed his slip, "I never did thank you for caring enough about her to do what you did back then."

He shrugged flippantly, but his expression remained sombre, "Everyone else seemed to be doing the same thing. Both Hotohori-sama and Nakago were prepared to step aside to allow her to be with me…" He cracked a small smile in a brave attempt to lighten the mood, "I just couldn't let them prove themselves to be better men; I have my pride, you know."

"How did you know about—…" Keisuke stared at him for a long moment, sifting through the information that had been inadvertently revealed, "You didn't tell Miaka the whole truth about Suzaku giving you back your memories…You didn't tell her that you remember everything," Keisuke said slowly as understanding dawned upon him, realising the secret the other man had kept all this time, "You still love her, don't you… _Tamahome_?" he finally asked softly. 

Tamahome's voice hardened with determination, "There was too much at stake…and I promised her once, that I would always protect her happiness,�no matter what happened." He took a deep breath, his violet eyes dark with emotion, "She needed him, but she would never have gone after him if she thought it would hurt me…so I told her what she needed to hear."

He lifted his head to stare up into the twilit sky, "I have never stopped loving her…I will always love her…" he whispered, a single tear slowly finding its way down his face. Keisuke reached out to put his hand on Tamahome's shoulder in concern, and was surprised when the dark-haired seishi turned back to face him with clear, gentle violet eyes which held no resentment or jealousy. 

"…But it's okay. She loved me once, and I'll treasure the memory for as long as I live…but she loves him now, and he makes her happy. I'm still one of her seishi, and we will always be friends. No one can take that away. Besides…" Tamahome smiled slightly, a hint of mischievous humour in his gaze, "I guess I should be glad that I'm not the one who ended up with the weird brother-in-law." 

-THE END-

* * *

Notes:

1) Got sucked back into Real Life for a while…Anyway, things didn't turn out quite as I planned. I never really intended Miaka and Nakago to end up together, but the story took on a life of its own, and no, I don't know what weed I was smoking when I wrote this. O.o 

2) I deliberately avoided mentioning any names and kept things vague in the first part of this chapter, when Miaka is watching the sunset with her "mystery guy". It wouldn't be fun if everyone found out right away who she chose, would it? Things get clearer when everything is explained from Taka/Tamahome's POV. 

3) I'm not good at writing WAFF. I'm almost as emotionally constipated as Nakago, and I would like to thank Stormlight, whose incredible stories provided a frame of reference for anything vaguely resembling WAFF in this fanfic. Arigatou! A huge thanks as well to everyone who took the time to write reviews, even if it was just to beg me to update!


End file.
